It read: “100% Silk. Hand Made.”
And at first I thought that this was Something To Be Happy About. If something is 100% it usually means it is The Best, unless you’re talking to a high school wrestling coach who would argue that 110% is really what’s required.
Hand made is good too – because machines are evil. Aside from my Playstation. He is nice.
But then I got to thinking that maybe this is not such a good thing.
Hand made? Hand made by whom?
I’d rather not think about the little boy who is sitting in his wheelchair in China or somewhere exotic and weird like that piecing my tie together with his bony hands so I can look like a pseudo-professional.
The poor kid is probably hungry too, because I’m sure the porridge that they feed him doesn’t have raisins or bananas in it. You know, to give it some flavor.
He just wheels his chair around all day, refusing porridge, planning his escape and making ties for me.
If you’re reading this Tie Making Boy, come to New York and I’ll take you in like the son I never had.
No longer will you be making ties, you will be seeing the sights and living the good life!
You heard me – nothing but the best hot dogs for my new son!
But until then, could you do something about the stitching on the back of these? Sometimes it comes unraveled in this one little spot.
Also, you should really eat your porridge.
No one likes a skinny minny!