If you go to the gym every morning like I do, you begin to take notice of certain “regulars” who are there at the same time as you.
I have nicknames for all of them, and they are all entertaining in their own ways. Over time I’ll post about each one, but my favorite, is The Singer.
The Singer sings along to his iPod – at the top of his lungs – from the time he gets to the gym to the time he leaves.
From looking at him, you’d expect him to just be a Normal Dude, but he clearly is not. He has a song in his heart and he wants you to know it.
The songs he sings are always about love and relationships, and he even puts inflection into his singing, like he is right there with the band, belting out his feelings about a scorned lover.
The Singer is always there and he is always singing.
When I am just finishing my run. “But you don’t LOVE ME anymore!”
When I have just finished a set of curls. “Why HAS HE LEFT, he was my ONE and only!”
When I am getting dressed to go to work. “Oh you LOOK lovely, YOU are my baby!”
Non-stop.
And I hope you don’t think that The Singer is limited to just singing.
Because the man can dance too.
Just this morning – as he was getting ready to do some bench presses – he dipped his shoulder, shimmied his hips ever so slightly, gave the mirror a Sassy Look, and slipped smoothly onto the bench. Oh yes, he was also singing, “GIRL, it’s time WE TOOK the next step!”
I’ve tried to identify the songs that he sings, but I never can.
If I could, you better believe I’d jump right in with him, sing my ass off and try (TRY!) to simulate his Dance Moves Of Sexiness.
The Singer makes my mornings at the gym go by quickly.
I can always count on him to be singing and dancing – straight into my heart.
51 Comments
April 2, 2008 at 9:29 am
this is beautiful. Sing on, singerman.
April 2, 2008 at 9:31 am
He must have a good singing voice? Cause otherwise I would want to kill him in a slow painful manner….
April 2, 2008 at 9:38 am
um if this is real? I want to go to that gym. It sounds QUITE entertaining.
You should videotape him and post it here.
April 2, 2008 at 9:39 am
i’m that asshole, singing at the top of her lungs, everywhere and all the time
it’s the most fun in my cubicle.. like when my boss walks by.
April 2, 2008 at 10:04 am
Inappropriate, Mr. Singer. A shimmy and pose? Terrible. Of course, if we could get a full list of your song selection and turn it into a podcast or playlist? Then you are my best friend and I will make you famous.
Why is it that I always want to meet the crazies you post about? Oh right…because I’m slowly stealing your life.
Nice apartment, by the way.
April 2, 2008 at 10:08 am
I would want to kill him.
April 2, 2008 at 10:23 am
Sing. Sing a song. Make it sim-ple to last your whole life long. Don’t worry if it’s not good e-nough for any one else to hear. Just sing. Sing a song…
La la la la la la, la la la la la la, Lalalalalalalalaaaaaa….
Funny as hell. I love that guy.
April 2, 2008 at 10:30 am
Hm…I wonder if he knows (or is) the shower singer in my building…
http://shenaniganist.wordpress.com/2007/12/11/sing-us-a-song-youre-the-shower-man/
April 2, 2008 at 10:30 am
What you don’t know is that the iPod isn’t even on. He’s singing to YOU.
April 2, 2008 at 10:34 am
I never thought love music could be so motivating.
April 2, 2008 at 10:39 am
I wish I had his confidence. Or obliviousness. And his dance moves. I have nothing.
April 2, 2008 at 10:44 am
That’s quality entertainment. Does anyone tell him to quiet down or do they all enjoy his singing sessions?
April 2, 2008 at 10:56 am
This is what I love about life. The little bizarre people that decorate the outskirts. The leather fringe of our lives…
April 2, 2008 at 11:04 am
tiff – Yes it is. Yes it is.
sassy – His voice is horrible – but it’s the passion! It’s the passion that makes it perfect.
maxie – Oh yeah, he’s real and loving every minute of it!
deutlich – I bet he’s going to give you a raise. If you sing songs he likes.
benjamin – Hahaha – ignore the mess please!
lacey – I know, but I must embrace him, otherwise I’d never get my work-out done.
kristen – I think he loves you too.
lbootier – It’s him! I bet it is. We need to join forces like The Hardy Boys (you’re a woman, but it still works!) and solve this mystery. I just hope this is easier than The Secret of Pirates Hill!
melissa – Hahaha – I could only hope.
matt – Oh yes, when Barry White comes on my iPod, I suddenly feel much stronger.
mickey – You have your blog man! Never, ever forget that.
strangehappy – No one bothers him. You can actually tell the new people because they’re all, “what the fuck is wrong with this dude???”
Oakland – I’m going to tell him you called him Leather Fringe. I think he’ll like that.
April 2, 2008 at 11:10 am
This is amazing. Does your phone have video? This is what video phones are made for!
Also, I am dying for a Jack photoblog. That is…if you are up for the challenge.
April 2, 2008 at 11:11 am
Dammit, Dammit, DAMMIT! I was just going to post on this.
Please tell me he is busting out the Carlton. Thats what I’m envivisioning in my head, so I’m going to roll with that.
April 2, 2008 at 11:38 am
Wow, this is even worse than the guy that’s always at my gym, watching CNN on the mounted TV and listening to it through the little headphone system on the treadmill. You’ll often hear things like:
“Bullsheyat.”
“That shit aint right”
and
“Man, some fuckas just aint got no sense”
April 2, 2008 at 11:39 am
Shit. The above was me. stupid address saving deafult shit..
April 2, 2008 at 11:39 am
I want to be that guy’s best friend. Seriously.
April 2, 2008 at 11:40 am
sorry…having a stupid day. ugh. is it too early to start drinking yet?
April 2, 2008 at 11:43 am
I think the world would benefit from a youtube video of the singer.
April 2, 2008 at 11:50 am
It made me feel a little better on this shitty day to think of you grinning along to the Singing Man At The Gym.
April 2, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Oh gosh, I never understand people who sing in public. It always seems as though they don’t realize that other people can actually HEAR them.
April 2, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I used to work out at this place where this middle-aged woman would dress in one of those leotards with tights and a headband and leg warmers – you know, like Olivia Newton John…except fatter. Anyway, she would have her headphones on and be lifting weights (with poor form, I might add) and she’d always belt out various tunes from godknowswhatdecade. Everyone just looked at each other and smirked. And she never caught on.
April 2, 2008 at 12:45 pm
As long as he doesn’t start singing “Girl You Know It’s True” I’m liking this guy. But if he does- RUN AWAY. A Milli Vanilli fan is no friend of yours.
April 2, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I am CRYING from laughing. In the office. People are looking at me weird. This was beautiful.
April 2, 2008 at 1:09 pm
If you go to the New York Sports Club in the Theatre District, I know who that guy is. I used to see him at the gym all the time. Now, I go to a gym where you get kicked out if you grunt. It feels civilized in theory, but I miss the drama.
April 2, 2008 at 1:34 pm
He has a song in his heart and he wants you to know it.
Golden.
He sounds like fun. How much would we, your loyal readers, have to chip in to get you to bust out some harmonies? And record it? And YouTube it?
April 2, 2008 at 1:39 pm
You’ve got to be kidding! Singing love songs? Loudly? And this is a manly man??? No way.
No way.
April 2, 2008 at 1:39 pm
jamie – I may have to take you up on this. I will have to hold him still and not let him eat pens, so it may be hard, but I will try.
rs27 – Picture the Carlton, only much sexier.
birdwatching – I got ya, I knew it was you. You should do the same thing to that dude, start yelling obscenities right after he does.
lauren – I bet he has like a million friends.
marcos – Without a doubt.
nancypearl – Thanks! Glad to be a sunny moment. That was a very odd thing for me to say.
stephanie – I know, right? Dude has no idea. None.
mindy – You know you were tempted to “get physical” with her. You know it!
b2g – You are very right.
big time – Thanks! Please tell them I said “sorry” and “I’ll make it up to them.” But I won’t really.
noelle – Maybe he moved on? I go to a Bally’s on 32nd.
kp – Not much. Maybe a bag of Raisinets.
coop – He is! I swear. I’ve seen him lift 10 pounds over his head, while singing and dancing. Insane!
April 2, 2008 at 1:41 pm
The singing man would make me mad. I don’t like working out with Other People.
April 2, 2008 at 1:48 pm
1. this is hilarious.
2. but also (i’m sure) quite annoying.
3. i make up names for gym regulars as well.
4. i’m glad that i have enough willpower to keep my singing urges on “the inside.” (as documented by most recent post.)
5. i can’t believe i just stumbled on your blog.
6. i really like it.
7. i need to stop numbering my comments.
8. because it’s creepy.
9. awesome.
kthxbai.
April 2, 2008 at 3:00 pm
is this a test where you talk about “some guy you know” when it’s really you, just to get some feedback? because if that’s the case, i love it.
if not, that dude’s off his rocker.
April 2, 2008 at 4:00 pm
BWHAHAH!!! I KNOW THIS GUY!!! Does he wear really tight clothes and stares at himself way too much! If so, its gotta be my X…Stupid gym singing bastard!
Kick him in the balls for me the next time you see him. And if its not him, well…. do it anyways, at least it will make for a good entertaining post!
April 2, 2008 at 4:26 pm
a) it’s a she and I doubt it
b) check your e-mail, mister blind man.
April 2, 2008 at 4:31 pm
See, at least you have patience for the gym people. I, on the other hand, give them disdainful looks and try my best to instill shame and embarrassment.
Creepy thought, what if the guy isn’t listening to anything and the songs are just in his head? Ya, that’s why we can’t take chances.
April 2, 2008 at 6:03 pm
that is awesome. granted i may get annoyed with it, but i can imagine that a singer is probably highly entertaining, especially that early in the morning.
April 2, 2008 at 6:03 pm
This is exactly why I don’t work out…. *as I chew on a Twinkie.*
April 2, 2008 at 6:34 pm
kiala – I know – me neither. But I try and be nice. Sometimes.
barbie – Thanks! And feel free to number your comments as you feel necessary.
tia – No, it wasn’t me. I wish it was, that guy has some moves!
allie – Hahaha – No tight clothes, so I don’t think it’s your ex. Though I will mention your blog to him tomorrow to see if he has a reaction, just in case.
deutlich – a) man, I was gonna say it was woman too! b) I know, I’m an idiot.
dustin – No, I’m usually right there with you. I like to give looks of disdain, it makes me feel good.
katelin – Exactly. He makes me not hate the world for a little over an hour.
frm – Twinkies??? Really?? I bet those things make your kids have four arms. But the creme filling is tasty.
April 2, 2008 at 6:48 pm
This post is about you isn’t it? It is, I’m positive. So, tell us, what’s your favorite song to sing while working out?
April 2, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Holy crap. It’s 1.30am, I’m siting in my living room in the dark and I’m laughing my ass off. There is something wrong with this picture of geekiness.
I’m going to bed…
April 2, 2008 at 7:50 pm
I applaud you finding this endearing, because I would HATE it and probably be all kinds of furious.
April 2, 2008 at 9:18 pm
That’s so funny. I do the same thing…name people I see everyday at the gym. I unfortunately don’t have a singer.
April 2, 2008 at 10:06 pm
WHAT?!?! I made YOU laugh?!?! Man
I’m glad I could pay you back at least once!! I think I’ve got 2131790489348 more to go before we are even…but who’s counting?!?
April 2, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Ooo, there was a Ms. Singer at my old gym. Perhaps they’re related?
April 3, 2008 at 3:03 am
Yeah I dont recognise those songs either. He’s sing for you.
April 3, 2008 at 3:05 am
I wish there were more people like him in the world.
April 3, 2008 at 8:18 am
megkathleen – Hmm… “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go?”
kali – Thanks! And you are not a geek! All my readers are The Coolest People Around.
nicole – Thank-you. It’s all about giving in. He’s gonna be there, and he’s gonna be singing, so you might as well join in the Sexiness.
1218 – I’m sure there’s someone who is equal to The Singer at your gym. Look closer. Although, that might be unpleasant.
allie – Of course! And I do believe that was the most question marks and exclamation points I’ve ever seen in one sentence.
robbie – I knew it!
pinkjelly – You and me both.
April 10, 2008 at 9:04 am
I am laughing uncontrollably at the dip and sway of his hips before he sits on the bench. I had a mental picture. I wish I could be a witness and if you joined in, that would make my whole day
April 10, 2008 at 1:25 pm
hahaha, so funny!
your writing is really good!
*you’re probably going to hate me, because I actually had a good laugh just now over lolcats. sorry about that one.
June 6, 2008 at 9:16 am
[...] a number Jump to Comments The last time I wrote about one of the regulars at my gym, it was The Singer. Just this morning The Singer was belting out, “Lose My Breath” by Destiny’s [...]