Last night Ari and I went out for drinks and then to dinner. We did this because it was the first really nice day here, and that meant we both wanted to get drunk and eat outside – of course!
We had drinks at a rooftop bar near my office. I actually drank wine because I was with a Beautiful Woman, which made me feel better about drinking something Not So Manly.
On our way out to go to dinner, a guy who we had to squeeze by, looked me up and down and said, “Where are you going???”
I ignored him and kept walking.
As we headed down the steps, Ari told me, “That guy loved you!”
She then told me that as we passed he checked out my ass and said, “Don’t leave!”
This kind of thing happens to me all the time.
Men like me.
They really do.
And you know what? I’m fine with it. In fact, I welcome it!
Look, I’m in a Long Term Relationship. I don’t get to get excited when women hit on me. I can’t go home and tell Ari about the woman on the train who made Sexy Eyes at me.
But when it’s a dude, I am a Diva!
I say things like, “Oh, he liked what he saw! Mmm-hmm!” and “He should’ve taken a picture, it would last longer!” Then I laugh and laugh because I am a Good Looking Man and they knew it and I know it and it’s okay because I Still Enjoy Boobs.
So last night when I walked by that guy did I maybe, just perhaps, walk with a little Extra Sass?
I might have…
54 Comments
April 11, 2008 at 9:04 am
haha! Yesterday was indeed a great day for rooftop bars. Sadly, no one checked out my ass though at mine.
April 11, 2008 at 9:06 am
hahaaa.. right on! similarly, is it wrong that Devon and I check out women together? it’s a bonding activity.. no really!!!
April 11, 2008 at 9:25 am
I get hit on also from guys too! I find it hilarious. The last time was at a bar for St. Patty’s day. And as a guy who isn’t threatened by homosexuality it feels great to be hit on… even by men! And I’m with you… put a little sass in your step too… show ‘em what you’re working with!
April 11, 2008 at 9:25 am
So slutty.
April 11, 2008 at 9:36 am
Oh homos…when will we ever leave the straight guys alone? I guess not until we stop getting away with it
April 11, 2008 at 9:47 am
Did he say you must be wearing space pants, because your ass was out of this world? I mean, if he said that, you probably should have gone home with him. Not to impose my standards on you or anything.
April 11, 2008 at 9:54 am
work it, indeed.
April 11, 2008 at 9:59 am
P-I-M-P. Nice. I appreciate when guys aren’t scared of all things gay.
April 11, 2008 at 10:07 am
We all gotta walk with a lil’ extra sass every once and again.
April 11, 2008 at 10:12 am
You betta WORK! *2 snaps around the world*
April 11, 2008 at 10:20 am
Why do I have a have a feeling you get hit on by more guys than I do?? HUMPH!
April 11, 2008 at 10:21 am
haha oops… I must have been thinking way to hard to type “have a” twice…must have really been upset!
April 11, 2008 at 10:23 am
All that wine has gone right to your head. And your hips, evidently. Swaggerer.
April 11, 2008 at 10:32 am
There is nothing better than getting drunk outside. I cannot wait for the sun to start shining in Seattle.
And I agree with Mindy, you’re a total slutburger.
April 11, 2008 at 10:34 am
I went to G-A-Y club in London with my boyfriend once and blokes were hitting on him left right and centre. I didn’t dare go to the toilet because when I did and I came back, some man whore would be standing next to him giggling at everything he said. And you know what…my boyfriend Loved it.
You are not alone.
April 11, 2008 at 10:37 am
Homo.
Please don’t get your gay on me.
I AM KIDDING INTERNET.
April 11, 2008 at 10:43 am
[...Controlling pace, timing and emphasis from Surviving Myself:...]
http://bensprblog.blogspot.com/2008/04/nor-bloger-carnival.html
April 11, 2008 at 10:45 am
Mmm-Hmm.
There is nothing wrong with man love.
April 11, 2008 at 10:49 am
My husband is always getting Sexy Eyes from men. I think he likes it a little too much if you know what I mean.
But you work that ass Mr. Sassy Pants!
April 11, 2008 at 10:54 am
you better work!
April 11, 2008 at 11:07 am
I get hit on by other girls, probably more than most people. But then, I live in a decidedly homosexual-friendly area, and I’m totally hot, so it’s not really all that surprising.
April 11, 2008 at 11:13 am
You’re a jive turkey, you gotta sass it.
I don’t think that made any sense. I’ll take anyone checking me out. I ain’t playin’ no favorites. Ok, yes I am, Girls first.
April 11, 2008 at 11:13 am
two things – I also sat outside and drank wine on a patio the other day — it’s the best.
And, it’s great that you don’t get freaked out. No reason too at all.
April 11, 2008 at 11:23 am
you are totally homomagnetic. its the condition of being attractive to the same sex when you are totally straight. cherish it, work it, love it. cause gay men are the most superficial and critical of us all
April 11, 2008 at 11:31 am
They would love you in jail…
April 11, 2008 at 11:37 am
Honestly, I was insulted. That guy couldn’t have cared less about me. Clearly, the heat was going to his head.
April 11, 2008 at 11:38 am
You are ridiculous. This works if a bum checks you out too– man or woman… b/c if you tell Ari about it she won’t care. Shake your ass for those bums!
April 11, 2008 at 11:50 am
Be careful – it’s a slippery slope. One minute you’re batting your eyes and walking a little different, the next minute you’re stumbling out of his apartment and walking a little different.
April 11, 2008 at 11:55 am
jason – Damn that sucks dude, I’ll send some your way. What do you like, blondes or brunettes?
aimelina – That sounds fun to me, please email ari and tell her of this activity.
aaron – You know it!
mindy – Jealous!
ben – You don’t have to leave us alone, we enjoy it!
melissa – Hahaha – please, please, please tell me that someone said that to you one time.
notsojenny – I am dancing in my seat right now.
arielle – I think Jigga would be proud.
deutlich – Sing it sister!
thaboogiemonsta – Hahaha – man I miss those sketches.
allie – Some of us just have it.
noelle – Hahaha – your damn right it has.
jack – Who you calling a slutburger, you hussy!
jo – Your boyfriend and I should hang out and just blow the gay men away. That didn’t sound right.
kiala – Hahaha – we know, we know.
julie – That’s the truth.
kristen – I’m taking after you!
wellhmm – Oh, believe me, I am.
allison – Nothing like it, right? Nature and booze. Perfect.
ashley – I will, I won’t let you down.
matt – They would, you’re right. I better stop selling crack.
ari – It’s hard being next to such a Fine Piece Of Man all the time isn’t it?
maxie – Hahaha – that’s a good point.
fort knocks – Hahaha – and that’s another good point!
April 11, 2008 at 11:56 am
Atta boy. Because the gays are fans of mine, as well, hanging out in the arts crowd is an ego booster. Fuck the poetry, I do it for the compliments!
April 11, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Sass that ass!
April 11, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Mindy is right. You are slutastic.
I love it.
My fiance is a hit with the over 55 female crowd. There is something about him that screams “bad boy, but still safe” and it drives them wild. His best clients are 55-60 year old women. It’s amazing. I keep telling him he should get a sugar mama and we’d be set.
April 11, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Jesus, no. But if someone did, I’d be on my knees so fast in the men’s room, your head would spin.
Does that sound a little too much like I have experience in the matter?
April 11, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Work it, girl!… er, uh, dude!
Sashay… sashay shante!
April 11, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Sweet man. Gay guys dont hit on me, i’m not their type. I think I have too much hair on my face or something. I feel left out. Eh.
April 11, 2008 at 1:37 pm
work it dude!
rock out with your cock out.
wait that was dirty, i’m sorry.
April 11, 2008 at 2:43 pm
brooklyn – I knew that was the real reason.
meghan – You’re a poet!
melissa – Hahaha – what can I say? I love the attention. And yeah, he really should – can you say Silver Fox???
melissa l – Yes.
jenbun – I am totally gonna say that in my head now every time I go into Diva Mode.
cruz – You’re proabably right, I am pretty hairless. I used to want to grow a beard soooo bad, but it went horribly wrong when I did, so I stick to what looks normal on me.
alexa – Jam out with your clam out!
April 11, 2008 at 3:02 pm
You sassy thing, you. Gay men love my boyfriend too. He is usually oblivious to it but I love it!
April 11, 2008 at 3:26 pm
You should always have some sass in your step, haha.
April 11, 2008 at 4:18 pm
You got an out-loud laugh on this one.
A compliment’s a compliment. I’m not one to be picky.
April 11, 2008 at 6:15 pm
HOT! I love the gays.
This post makes me wish lesbians would hit on me more…
April 11, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Hahaha.
I have nothing to add with this comment, I just felt it was necessary to type out my laughing so you know I thought the post was funny.
April 11, 2008 at 7:53 pm
i wish more guys would admit that it’s flattering.
the gays don’t hit on just anyone, you know. that’s a myth. so feel special.
April 11, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Even though I’m happily married, sometimes I wish I had the experience of being hit on by a hot woman.
April 12, 2008 at 12:06 am
Fuck, I knew it. I leave town for one week and I miss spring.
April 12, 2008 at 7:06 pm
jamie – He should learn to love it like me!
katelin – Those are words to live by.
mickey – Exactly, gotta take them when I can get them. And thanks man.
megkathleen – I’m gonna start a revolution!
stephanie – Well thanks!
tia – I do.
larrissa – Something tells me your husband would enjoy hearing that.
rebecca – Yup, sorry. It’s already next winter. You missed summer too.
April 13, 2008 at 8:53 am
ha! that’s great
April 13, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Not punching gay guys is always a good thing because
1. i am a gay guy.
2. If i’ve drank enough, I have been known to say/slur “you’re fucken hot” to just about anyone.
And lastly, 3. You ARE fucken hot
So from all of us, I thank you for your kindness, your openness, your totally comfortableness with your own masculinity, and that fact that you’re not ugly.
April 14, 2008 at 3:49 am
Well said Ernie. Yes you are fuckin hot and I wouldn’t mind to check you out either! I always felt that I’ve got a ‘thing’ for the straight guys.. Lol!! :p
April 14, 2008 at 8:09 am
heidi – It is, it is indeed.
ernie – 1) I know 2) Me too! and 3) Thanks!
sam – All are welcome here. And thank-you too, what, you guys get together and decide to boost my ego or something?
April 14, 2008 at 8:12 am
Seriously. You’re hilarious. I wish that I could have seen this. Prob a little butt shaking, right?
April 14, 2008 at 8:57 am
I love you…. You are just awesome.
April 19, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Larry came up with the best pick up line I’ve ever heard.
You’re parents must be retarded, because you sure are special.
Hot stuff. Makes me quiver.
April 13, 2009 at 4:21 am
Yeah, it’s because you’re really fucking hot lol (gay guy here)