May 6, 2008...8:56 am
another time, another place
Last night I went out to meet up with some bloggers (Lacey, Arielle and The Brooklyn Boy) for trivia night at a bar in the East Village.
It was fun, but we finished third.
Which means we lost.
That will not happen again because I plan on doing A Lot Of Research beforehand to make sure I’m prepared. Or maybe I’ll just cheat.
Before I met up with them I met J.P. for a drink or five.
After some time discussing the finer points of quantum physics and how the Bullets never should have changed their name to the Wizards even though Bullets is not that great of a name for a city with a high murder rate, I had to take a piss.
I walked into the bathroom and was assaulted by Someone’s Mistake.
Some dude or girl had shit in the only bathroom. And it was a bad shit too. One of those that you can tell the person was not the same after it happened.
I don’t understand people who do this.
If you’re at a bar, and you feel A Little Uneasy Down There, it is time to go home.
No more shots for you friend - that is your stomach telling you it is not happy with your decisions.
The bar will be there tomorrow, I promise.
Lets be nice to others and go to our respective apartments when we feel like we might make A Bad Thing Happen In Public.
It will make the world a better place.
48 Comments
May 6, 2008 at 9:02 am
ew, there was corn in there?
May 6, 2008 at 9:05 am
Uhm.. agreed. The Wizards shoulda stayed the Bullets.
But whatevs.. both suck.
May 6, 2008 at 9:09 am
Coming in third means we won against 2 teams! Though I agree, next time Lacey should google the answers on her BBerry instead of “nougat.” But at least now I know officially that “nougat” means “pretty much anything you shove in a chocolate casing.”
May 6, 2008 at 9:20 am
Oh my god, I’m sorry. Moments like that make me want to build a commune. Except it’ll just be me living there.
May 6, 2008 at 9:34 am
Maybe the dude or girl WAS the same afterwards, but wasn’t him/herself until the bad was gone?
Sometimes bad things happen.
May 6, 2008 at 9:41 am
That’s disgusting. Your loss, I mean. You’ve lost mega trivia points in my eyes and you should understand that I’m holding you personally responsible for bringing your team down.
I expected better of you.
May 6, 2008 at 9:42 am
I am going to say to you what my college boyfriend always used to say to me when he was overly gassy:
“It’s NATURAL, I can’t help it!”
Then I’m going to agree with you, because after he’d say that, I’d slug him.
Gosh, we were so in love…(cue music)
I just keep commenting, even after I’ve said what I meant to say and now apparently I don’t even care if what I’m saying is relevant or the slightest bit interesting.
You’re welcome.
May 6, 2008 at 9:45 am
Bullets was a G name.
I think of the old guy from Lord of the Rings when I hear Wizards.
Fail.
May 6, 2008 at 9:45 am
If you need a trivia ringer, just give me a call. Remember, Justin = Biggest Nerd Ever.
Also, fo shizzle on the Bullets/Wizards thing. “Wizards” is the name you give your team of 5-year-olds who don’t know which hoop they should shoot in, not an NBA squad.
And isn’t it great that the same city that decided “Bullets” was too offensive still calls itself home to a team called the “Redskins?”
May 6, 2008 at 10:02 am
i had no clue this trivia thing even existed until last fall when i went to visit a friend. i don’t think it happens down here but i wish it did. i am so full of useless info. i would kick ass. you guys totally need me on your team!
May 6, 2008 at 10:10 am
hahahahahaha… I saw when you mentioned this on twitter and I LOL’d.
But it’s not cool tho… not cool at all… some ppl just have no bar etiquette.
…And also, as Deutlich said “The Wizards shoulda stayed the Bullets… but they both suck!”
May 6, 2008 at 10:12 am
Not good. Not good at all.
And I agree. I think the wizards is a stupid name for a team. I was just posting about that yesterday as a matter of fact
May 6, 2008 at 10:27 am
I have a friend that only shits when she goes out to the bar. Seriously.
May 6, 2008 at 10:37 am
Ew. Seriously.
May 6, 2008 at 10:51 am
A friend of mine once had a Bad Problem in an airport bathroom…it was so bad that when he emerged from the stall he found that the cleaning crew had put up yellow police tape “Do Not Enter” in a big “X” on the outside, blocking his exit.
now THAT’S a bad day…
May 6, 2008 at 10:57 am
I’m forwarding this to my co-workers immediately!
May 6, 2008 at 10:58 am
They’re always having issues and NOT USING THE SPRAY!!
It’s there for a reason, people.
May 6, 2008 at 11:10 am
This is why there should not be toilets in bathrooms in bars. Only urinals. For the females i’m sorry, you’re going to have to learn how to use a urinal when I open my bar. I shall call it.
Albert Kaholics Fun House
May 6, 2008 at 11:33 am
tiff - Yup!
deutlich - No way, the Bullets was an awesome name!
arielle - This knowledge will serve us all well.
melissa - But could I visit? Just for like a day or so?
shelly - Hahaha - good point.
ben - And now I will kill myself.
mindy - Farting and physical violence are the centers of all good relationships.
cruz - Right, it was fucking sweet.
justin - I know. No one cares about the Indians. Wait, am I even allowed to say that?
jenny - Well c’mon then!
aaron - I’m glad you laughed at my misfortune.
matt - I stole your post. Kidding!
maxie - That is fucking odd.
jamie - Yes.
t-rex - Good lord! I hope that friend is okay after all that.
kristen - I hope it helps you out.
rs27 - They can learn, I’m sure of it!
May 6, 2008 at 11:39 am
The worst is when someone drops their stink bombs, then walks out going ‘Phew! It really smells in there!’ like it wasn’t them. Come on. It’s ALWAYS them.
May 6, 2008 at 11:47 am
I don’t know how people do that! I would be so embarrassed. I can’t do that in public restrooms.
May 6, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I’m butting in, again…I was in the midst of a very similar discussion on another blog….so JO, it isn’t ALWAYS ‘them’.
The worst is getting onto an empty STINKY elevator, and having others get on the elevator at other stops…..of course they think it’s YOU, but really it was the jerk who farted (like it was hysterical) as he/she left the confines of said elevator. If you PROTEST, then the othe riders think it was SO you, if you DON’T protest, you are somehow failing YOURSELF. It’s a lose/lose situation.
May 6, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I hope you at least warned your teammates before they suffered the same fate as you.
May 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm
at least it wasn’t on the walls. or was it?
May 6, 2008 at 12:55 pm
But what if there was no time. Sometime there is no time.
May 6, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Ah, the public shits. The fun part is being in the next stall while all this is happening. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered.
May 6, 2008 at 1:05 pm
so hes going to kill me, but my boyfriend was at the bar with some buddies, went to take a piss and sharted in his pants. he walked back out, told them he had to go home and why. They told him he couldnt leave until he finished his beer, so he downed it and walked like a cowboy home.
thats commitment.
May 6, 2008 at 1:07 pm
sometimes you just can’t MAKE it home.
better to blow it up in the bar bathroom than your pants halfway down the street.
well, better for the shitter, that is; it’s worse for the bar patrons.
May 6, 2008 at 1:46 pm
jo - Hahaha - the dance of the fart is what that’s called.
lissa - Then I know to never blame it on you.
shelly - Right. No one wins when you fart. That should be a bumper sticker.
nancypearl - It was with JP, and I didn’t warn him. I’m nice.
julie - It wasn’t on the walls. Thank fucking god.
dutchess - Hahaha - nice.
lisa - Yes! I hate that!
kelly - Your boyfriend is gonna dump you. Pun intended!
ride - If you can’t make it home then it’s time to go to the doctors.
May 6, 2008 at 2:38 pm
RS27 — no prob on not having urinals for us gals. We’ll come prepared. Hell, we won’t even have to miss a single trivia question because we’ll never leave the table.
http://www.comforthouse.com/porjoh.html
May 6, 2008 at 3:07 pm
No, some people have IBS. They can’t stay inside all the time.
OR some people get poisoned with Visine in the drink by the bartender because the bartender was in love with some people’s then girlfriend whose name rhymes with Pie-la.
Anyway, that’s what matches are for.
What I hate is leaving the bathroom and then the person after you thinks you did it.
Unfair.
May 6, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Oh. I see we were already having that discussion.
Moving along…
May 6, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I would definitely recommend cheating - that’s how I win trivia.
Also, this is why I don’t use public restrooms.
May 6, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I’m glad I picked your blog for my lunchtime reading material.
This story went well with my szechun eggplant.
May 6, 2008 at 3:28 pm
PS- whats up with my icon on here? why am i an orange blob?
May 6, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I agree about the Bullets. I still wear my Bullets shirt.
May 6, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Oh man, ew.
May 6, 2008 at 4:58 pm
kiala - Portland is hardcore!
megkathleen - But what about peeing?
hollywood - I do it all for you. And it’s some weird thing on wordpress, I just changed it so it doesn’t do that anymore.
liz - Nice!
katelin - Yes, it was just like that.
May 6, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Strangely, I mind the Bad Bathroom Business less when I’m out drinking than when I’m sober and it’s at like a Starbucks.
May 6, 2008 at 8:39 pm
I gotta say. I went into a little cubby of a bathroom and the woman in the stall next to me was moaning and stomping her feet as she sounded like she was losing the battle of the movement. Sounded very painful and the smell was simply unmentionable. Bet you all loved that little tidbit. Sorry.
May 6, 2008 at 8:44 pm
i hate when i lose trivia, i like REALLY good at it and in the rare case i lose i pout for days.
very mature of me know.
May 7, 2008 at 8:56 am
This shit happens to me at work. Why can’t they flush?????
May 7, 2008 at 9:10 am
As a chick who was born in raised in DC, when the name changed I said that “we’ve all seen Bullets in DC before, but where the hell are we supposed to find a damn Wizard?!?”
And that’s precisely why I have public restroom issues…
May 7, 2008 at 10:11 am
A day late here, but whutup “Perennially third place”? You were doomed the second you joined my team. Sorry, dude.
May 7, 2008 at 5:02 pm
It’s called Depends - look into it.
May 7, 2008 at 8:35 pm
At least take that shit outside…
May 8, 2008 at 3:43 am
Whoa… I think the dude with problems has been visiting my work. Weird….
Intercontinetal Incontinent Man strikes again!
May 9, 2008 at 9:19 am
Holy hell! I’ve encountered that before… someone had left something behind that resembled soft serve ice cream. There was so much of THAT in the toilet, that it actually came up out of the toilet.
I still can’t figure that shit out.
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