true

This card that I made sums up my feelings pretty well.

you’ve got problems

When I was a sophomore in high school, the Internet was very new. Only my friends with parents who had great jobs had this mystical thing that, according to the legend, had unlimited amounts of porn on it.
If porn was my number one concern when the Internet hit, chat rooms were easily the second. Luckily, [...]

one and the same

Eventually, someday, I want to have kids.
No, I’m not afraid to say that because I’m thirty.  I’m supposed to be talking about this kind of stuff instead of  how Batman doesn’t really need those pointy ears on top of his mask, he probably just thinks it looks cool.
I guess I shouldn’t say “kids” though, I [...]

joy

Last night on my way home from work my headphones for my iPhone broke, which means I have been commuting without my music and that means I’m slowly losing my mind.
Trying to navigate your daily life in New York without your music is like going to see a Wayans brothers movie – if you care [...]

rules of engagement

In the last month or so I’ve been attending a lot of birthday celebrations, and they all typically start out with a large dinner.
This is exciting for me because eating out is one of my favorite things to do.  I’m doing all the same things I do at home – drinking excessive amounts of wine, [...]

hello

I try to be a social person as much as possible.  I mean, as much as possible for me, which isn’t very much because I tend to be cranky, cynical and maybe sometimes say things to people that hurts their feelings.
While I’m out I always have a good time, talking about this and that, until [...]

please hang up and try again

I think I pretty much have the technological world figured out.
I know.
It’s not very apparent on my blog because the layout of this thing is about as interesting as a Creed reunion, but the only reason that it’s lame is because I’m lazy.
As far as other things, like TVs and phones and that kind of [...]

tgif

I love Fridays.
Not just for the fact that it’s the start of the weekend when anything can happen, from drinking too much and partying to drinking too much and sitting on the couch, but because it’s an instant conversation piece.
Fridays are something that you can always bring up in the office, and feel safe that [...]

it’s for the best

Well.
Here we are again.
I see you have another movie coming out.  Yes, I’m proud of you, but no, I’m not going to see it.
Why?
C’mon Ben.  Let’s not do this again.  We did this after Meet The Parents.  I told you, I just don’t think you’re very funny.  Actually, what I said was, and I am [...]

not worth my time

I never really got into the whole Where’s Waldo craze – and not because I don’t see the allure of the books. Mainly because I find Waldo to be kind of an asshole.
Think about what it must be like to be friends with that guy.
You’re hanging out, having a good time, you turn your back [...]