I haven’t fallen down in seven years.
I’m serious.
Think about that for a minute. It’s quite the feat don’t you think?
I haven’t fallen on the ground once since I was 22 years old.
I know this because I remember the last time I fell down vividly. It was winter and as I was walking to work I slipped on some ice and hit the ground with a thud.
It made my butt wet.
Wet butts are not fun.
Falling down is a traumatic event for people, it really does affect us more than we realize.
I bet if you thought about it right now, you can pinpoint the exact moment the last time you fell down.
And that’s because when we were kids, falling down was cute and basically something that we were supposed to do. “Oh look at little Johnnie, he fell again! Hahaha! Back to your cage now, you silly guy.”
But now when we fall, it is quite the predicament.
How are we supposed to act?
We can act like it never happened, but you know this is a mistake. People who say, “Yeah man, I totally busted my ass and then just played it off like nothing happened and no one even noticed!” are lying.
Everyone noticed.
Everyone saw you clip the table that you somehow did not see even though it was directly in front of you and everyone saw you tumble in slow motion down to the floor, grasping thin air for something – anything – to keep you from your impending doom.
Or maybe you go the laugh it off route?
While this seems the best way, it has its negatives too. Because even though you are admitting that you fell, you are still sitting there in a crumbled mess, one pant leg up to your knee and a foot tucked under your ass. This is not the best look for most people.
Falling down is not good for anybody, and there really aren’t any solutions.
You can hope that you wake up tomorrow and you’re a spider, because I’m pretty sure spiders don’t fall down, but that doesn’t seem likely to happen, does it?
Your best bet is to just keep your eyes open, watch out for Dangerous Situations, and maybe keep a dry pair of underwear in your desk.
