Tomorrow night, before the blogger meet-up and the fight, a few of my Man Friends and I are going to pregame at my apartment before we go to the bar.
Yes, that is something alcoholics do.
Because this is an event of epic proportions, I have titled the gathering Man Fest ’09. I realize that, sadly, there are a few of you out there who don’t know anything about Man Fests, so I have posted some FAQ’s below for not only your enjoyment, but your education.
1) Why is it called Man Fest?
It’s called Man Fest because there will be an apartment full of Men and one male dog doing Man Things like drinking so much that they almost die and seeing who can punch the apartment ceiling.
2) When was the first Man Fest?
The first Man Fest was a long, long time ago, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. One day, ChokChok wandered into Moot’s cave by accident, and because Moot was having a good time punching the wall, ChokChok decided to stay and punch the wall as well. Shortly after this, Ung heard all the punching and laughing, so he decided to come into Moot’s cave and hang out too. All three men punched the wall, then punched each other, and laughed and had a Generally Fun Time. That was the first Man Fest.
3) Can I come to Man Fest?
Are you now, or are you in the early stages of becoming, a Man? Then yes. Otherwise, no. It’s for your own good.
4) What does one wear to a Man Fest?
Casual attire is encouraged. Also, anything flammable is always a hit.
5) Has anyone famous ever attended a Man Fest?
Yes. In 1992, fresh off of the classic film White Men Can’t Jump, Wesley Snipes attended Man Fest ’92 in Los Lunas, New Mexico. A funny story from that event was that even though it was held at night, Snipes wore his sunglasses the entire time and insisted that everyone in attendance high-five him after every joke he made. It was obviously one of the best Man Fests ever.
I hope this list helps you with getting a better understanding of what I am going to be undertaking tomorrow night. If you’re a Man and in the city, please come.
Oh, and sorry ladies, no pictures will be taken.