Memo to the 30-something man sitting across from me on the f:

Unless you are 8 to 13 years old, you cannot wear a Spider-Man hat anymore.

It is not okay.

I don’t care if you got it for free, take it off right now and come to the realization that you are not the intended consumer for this product.

I know, I know, I like Spider-Man too. But c’mon, are we not men? Have we no dignity? How are we, as men, supposed to evolve when you do things like this? I know you see that hot woman sitting across from us.

She’s not looking at you.

What do you want? Do you want my hat? I’ll give it to you! If it means you won’t wear a super hero on your head anymore – I’ll gladly give you my adult hat.

Let’s do it. Let’s move on and let go.

We are men my friend, men with normal hats.


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15 responses to “spider-man

  1. callmekp

    Can I just say, new virtual acquaintance, that I love the fact that you’re one of the multi-posts/ day blogs? I enjoy it. A lot.

    Was it a ball cap? Maybe a beanie? Are we talking logo or full on web detail? This info is crucial in how much judgment should be passed.


    Another gem…

  2. I was purusing http://www.Engrish.com today at work and gave myself a serious case of the giggles. I do believe your post just brought them back on.

  3. AH HA! Gosh, I hope I see this guy.

  4. I’ve recently starting kicking people on the subway. This guy sounds like he needs a good kick.

  5. You really should of took a photo. Did you not have a cameraphone or something with you?

  6. tiff

    Oh, oh, I want to join!
    Also – wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle VARSITY JACKET, not cool buddy.

  7. also, jerseys.

    children (up to high school) and fat old men should be the only ones to wear them unless you are at the ACTUAL event/team.


  8. callmekp – whoa, don’t hold me to the multi-post a day thing, I just do what I can. But thanks for reading.

    It was one of those knit winter hats, with the spider-man eyes and colors – it was made to look like spider-man’s mask that he wears. Now please, pass judgment.

    dutchess – thanks for the love – putting others down to make myself laugh is a sign of my maturity.

    chelsea – No, trust me, you don’t.

    todd – you sound like my kinda dude. You and I should meet. I think together we could rid the city of idiots.

    james – I know. I was about to then his stop came up and he left. Next time though – no doubt.

    tiff – TMNT Varsity jacket??? I don’t know what to think is worse, just the fact that he’s rocking a TMNT jacket, or that it’s a Varsity jacket.

    Either way – fucking terrible.

  9. each – yes, good call.

  10. I bet you anything he was wearing Thundercats underoos.

    I just spent 45 minutes at work reading your blog. Fuckin awesome. Keep it up. You now have a loyal reader. I’m adding you to the blogroll over at my own site.

  11. Birdwatching – thanks man, I appreciate it. I’m adding yours as well. Good stuff.

  12. FRM

    I am still stuck on the TMNT varsity jacket comment.

    I would pay good money for a picture of that.

  13. On the tube home yesterday there were two guys discussing the good and bad points of the Transformers Movie. I kept thinking there are certain places for this kind of talk between two 30 something, public places isn’t any of them.

  14. the boy – Wow. Yeah, they should probably keep that one reserved for the apartment.

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