Memo to the 30-something man sitting across from me on the f:
Unless you are 8 to 13 years old, you cannot wear a Spider-Man hat anymore.
It is not okay.
I don’t care if you got it for free, take it off right now and come to the realization that you are not the intended consumer for this product.
I know, I know, I like Spider-Man too. But c’mon, are we not men? Have we no dignity? How are we, as men, supposed to evolve when you do things like this? I know you see that hot woman sitting across from us.
She’s not looking at you.
What do you want? Do you want my hat? I’ll give it to you! If it means you won’t wear a super hero on your head anymore – I’ll gladly give you my adult hat.
Let’s do it. Let’s move on and let go.
We are men my friend, men with normal hats.