The guy/girl in ancient Egypt that invented the umbrella should’ve been killed, and the invention should’ve been trashed too.
That way, when I’m walking to work and it’s raining, I would have a better device to use to block the rain than a fucking umbrella.
I fucking hate umbrellas.
They don’t do anything. No, wait, yes they keep my head dry – that’s it. Thanks for keeping the top of my head dry umbrella! What would I ever do without you???
Let me ask you – have you ever used an umbrella – and stayed dry?
Because they suck. They don’t do what they’re supposed to do – which is keep you dry. Now, with a fantastic umbrella over my head, every time I get to work I look like I just took my clothes out of the washer. Pleats in the pants legs? Goodbye! Nice, dry dress shirt? See ya!
All thanks to the umbrella and that fucker who invented it. If that person never would have invented it, someone by now would’ve come up with something way better that actually keeps you dry.