sharp as a spoon

As I said in my first post, I have a puppy named Jack.

My girlfriend and I got him from a shelter on Long Island about two months ago, and he’s been reeking havoc on our lives ever since.

This is him in his natural state.


Jack is pretty much a small, fur-covered ball of hell.  He’s only 5 months old right now, so this means – much to my delight – that he will soon be a large, fur-covered ball of hell.

Some things that Jack enjoys:

Eating discarded chicken bones off of the street.

Running around like a maniac immediately after a bath.

Jumping on every single person that comes within three feet of him.

Eating pens.

Sticking his nose up a little girl’s skirt.

Peeing in wine stores.

Eating his own shit.

These are just a few of the many wonderful moments that Jack has blessed my girlfriend and I with.

As you may have guessed, Jack is slightly dumb.  It’s okay to say it, he doesn’t mind.

Dogs, it seems, are just like people.  Some people are smart and some people are dumb.  I just happened to adopt a dull-brained dog.

This is okay with me though.  He does a lot of cute shit that pretty much makes up for all the dumb shit that he does.

He’s a good dog, there’s just not that much going on upstairs.

And because all I’ve done is talk shit on him, here’s a picture of him looking his best.


Cute right?

Don’t let him fool you.

In the blink of an eye he’ll be peeing as he walks, unlike a normal dog, who takes a moment to crouch down to do his work.

This my dog.  This is Jack.


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14 responses to “sharp as a spoon

  1. Aw he is so cute. It sound like our dogs are two peas in a pod, except for the whole not stopping to pee thing. I’m pretty sure that my dog is schizophrenic and people hate coming to my house because she acts like an insane wildebeast.

  2. dutchess – ah yes, we should both be commended for putting up with such insanity. We are good people.

  3. Aw, he’s super cute! I love dogs, and good job getting one from a shelter. Once I’m ready (read: financially responsible and mature enough) to get a dog I’m totally going to adopt one and my life will be complete. I subscribe to For realz.

  4. todd – he is fun, if by fun you mean “mentally unbalanced.”

    arielle – Yeah, I will always get dogs from shelters, it’s something I strongly believe in.

    And a Daily Puppy subscription is hard core.

  5. that’s one damn cute puppy!

  6. pink – thanks, he’s okay. I guess.

  7. He is ridiculously cute. I want to play with him! I have 4 little dogs, I really want a big dog though. My little pups wouldn’t take to kindly to a big puppy I bet 😦

  8. jamie – big puppies are a handful. Jack would probably repeatedly jump on/around your other 4 dogs until they bit him on his paw. He’d stop after that for sure, he’s a softy.

  9. Jack should meet my little beast, Pigpen. He, too, has a fondness for eating discarded chicken bones and other fun things like trying to attract the attention of the homeless people that wander past my apartment during his late night pee breaks.

  10. j-money – they sound like soul mates.

  11. And I thought MY dog had big ears. Jack’s ears are phenomenal!

  12. mindy – He’s like sampson, his ears are his link to insanity.

  13. That is one helluva cute dog.. I’ve got a dog too although I prefer to think that *secretly* she is ultra clever, and just prefers to keep everyone’s expectations low so no one makes her do dumbass tricks like ‘Fix your hair!’

    Yeah she’s too cool for that.

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