Who doesn’t love Jeopardy?
This show is always on in my apartment. On any given night, you can find me sitting on my couch, yelling out questions, “What is bat guano!” and trying my best to know more than the people on the show.
My favorite part of Jeopardy is when Alex (I call him by his first name because we’re tight like that) interviews the contestants.
It’s like a watching a horrific car crash. You want to look away, you know it’s going to be brutal – but it’s just so enticing.
The contestants tell the worst fucking stories. Then Alex, like the Super Human Host that he is, must make something funny out of what they say. Seriously, why do these people always pick the absolute lamest thing about them to tell everyone on national television?
This one woman talked about how she had three cats, and named them all after her favorite tv shows! Oh, how interesting! I only want to punch myself in the face three times as opposed to seven!
But have no fear, Alex The Fucking Man Trebek is here to save every single person from looking like a complete loser.
I also love it when someone has the balls to risk it all on Double Jeopardy.
When people don’t risk it all, I scream at the tv in anger, “He’s weak Alex! You must punish the weak Alex!!!”
But Alex just plays it cool.
He’s seen it all before.
He reads the cards.
There is no doubt in my mind that Alex is totally cool off the show. He probably listens to Led Zeppelin then throws on some Jigga right after it, just to keep shit interesting. I bet you’d be out at the bar with him, he’d be charming the women with his wit, then turn to you and say, “Who is – totally gonna get laid tonight?”
You’re the man Alex. You’re the man.