I’m going to go ahead and put this out there, even though I know some of you will no doubt make me sad by disagreeing with me, but Seinfeld was and still is the best TV show ever created.
Well, I was watching a rerun last night, and it turned out to be my favorite episode – Bizarro Jerry. For those of you who don’t know every single Seinfeld by heart (losers) it’s the one where Elaine befriends the exact opposite – the Bizarro – of Jerry, George and Kramer. It’s also the episode featuring Man Hands.
Being that I am A Thinker – and maybe because I wasn’t drunk for the first time in three nights – I started wondering, what would Bizarro Chris be like?
He’d certainly be successful.
I’m sure he’d also enjoy Meeting New People and would express a genuine interest in what they had to say.
I bet he wouldn’t think roller coasters were a sure way to prematurely end his life in a giant ball of flame and metal.
He’d probably have a cat, not a dog that eats tennis balls instead of fetching them.
Bizarro Chris would also hold back from saying things like, “You’ve got issues” to a woman whom he has just met, that was complaining about eating too much.
I’m sure he’d even be an optimist, and not make a habit of expressing the darkest consequences of every single action – including mismatched socks.
The more I think about it, Bizarro Chris is probably a much more enjoyable version of me.
But really – who wants another Nice Person in the world?
There’s enough of those out there already.