Ari is going out of town for the weekend, which means that I get to act like the animal I was truly meant to be.
These are moments that make men feel truly alive!
The dishes will not get done right after every meal – they will sit and collect mold until ten minutes before Ari gets home!
Hah! Men were not meant to wear clothing! I will roam the apartment in nothing but my boxers from sun up to sun down.
The TV shall be tuned to these channels: ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNNEWS and CBS (for March Madness) and there will be no changing it from them! Except for porn.
I will not wipe the crumbs off of the table after consuming whatever wild beast happens to perish at my hands! This may or may not be pasta, but that pasta will not know what hit it when I come looking for it!
The toilet seat will remain up, because men do not need the toilet seat down! Unless we are reading, which happens to be a lot.
I will laugh heartily at my shower this weekend! It will not be seeing the likes of me anytime soon. Save your cleansers for another poor sap!
Beer will be drank and the cans (not bottles you fools!) will be tossed at will!
When I am out, I will not fear the “That’s enough Chris” statement! I will make fun of people until I pass out!
The music that will be played will be gully as gully can be!
Yes, this weekend Jack and I – the Men Of The Apartment – will rule the land with an iron fist. He will bark at Inappropriate Times, I will cheer him and we will be the men we were meant to be!
Until Sunday night.