i dream of dancing

If I could have one wish from a genie it would be to be able to do The Robot, really, really well.

I’m talking The Best In The World.

I’d do it all the time.

In the bodega, someone would ask where they can find the trash bags, and look out! I’d be popping and locking in that direction, helping that person out.

Oh, and parties? Forget about it.

I’d be invited to so many parties that I’d have to cancel on people, maybe even Eva Mendes‘ bash. But I’d probably find time for that one.

I’d pick being able to rock The Robot because I wouldn’t want to Punk Out on my genie and go with the “I wish for a million more wishes” wish.

Because you know, my genie would be doing me a favor, and I wouldn’t want to be an ass.

Whoever the genie was that granted that wish the very first time, basically screwed all the other genie’s for the rest of eternity.

Can you imagine?

A couple genie’s were probably out at happy hour, swapping horror stories about The Biz, when another genie came in and shared the bad news: “Did you hear??? Frank granted someone a million more wishes! Well, we’re fucked now!”

Needless to say, Frank was not a popular dude.

But I wouldn’t pull that shit on my genie.

I’d take the The Robot, impress – oh I don’t know – everyone in the world – and be happy with that.

Plus, I hear that Eva loves a good dancer.


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39 responses to “i dream of dancing

  1. The Robot is just sweet… classic. Do you like Flight of the Conchords? I love the episode when they make the robot video. And the only thing that comes close to The Robot is the Robo Boggie…

  2. who could say no to eva? seriously.

    my question is, would you be good at other dances,or would you limit your wish to JUST the robot?

  3. strangehappypeople

    I’d wanna be able to do the moonwalk. I’d moonwalk everywhere. Why take public transportation when I could glide my way to any place I need to be?

  4. I tend to do the robot at inappropriate moments in life. Like when my friend found out he was fired. I just swirled my arms around in a robot like motion. Idk what’s wrong with me.

    High five for the Eva pic!

  5. LOOK! have humans developed terminator-like technology to create artificial intelligence?

    No. That is Chris. He is taking over the world.

  6. FRM

    The Robot vs the Re-Run from What’s happening dance?????

    I don’t know.

  7. reminds me of all those 80s movies w/the dance-offs and such…

    i used to want to do ALL of those dances, but never bothered practicing. iz all good, though. I can hold my own on the dance floor

    just… not doin’ the robot. *ahem*

  8. First of all, I doubt there are any genies named Frank. What a boring name for a mythical, magical creature.

    Secondly, if you want to be the best in the world at the Robot, you’d have to compete with this guy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=io4e0Rxg5J0
    And that won’t be easy, I’m just tellin’ ya now.

  9. When you first mentioned wanting to “do The Robot,” I assumed you were talking about the Number Sixes on Battlestar Galactica.

  10. Marcos

    Dude, you don’t need a genie.

    Just muster up the balls to step foot in a hip-hop dance studio and be like,”Teach me!”

  11. Would you use your second wish so that I could do the Running Man really well? I mean, I hope you would. Spread the wealthy a little, it’s the least you could do.

    But in my heart, and this is not funny at all, because it comes from my heart, which is a cold, dark place, I though it was really sweet that you didn’t want to be an ass for your genie. You’re a good guy.

  12. HAHA! I used to practice the robot alone in my bedroom in front of my mirror when I was a kid. I also perfected my Beyonce booty bump this way. Wait I still do this…

  13. Me? The Roger Rabbit.

    I want to dance the shit out of that.

  14. Okay that was some funny shit!! The Robot. I can see you now doing it down the street, into the subway…

    People would think you were crazy you know, or they would start throwing you change.

  15. aaron – LOVE Conchords. It’s the best comedy on TV right now, aside from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

    ashley – No one would say no to Eva if they liked life. I think I’d stick to just The Robot. It makes me unique!

    strangehappy – Nice, very nice choice.

    cruz – Hahaha – you were being a good friend!

    matt – I’m trying dammit… I’m trying…

    frm – Sadly, I don’t know either.

    deutlich – You’re talking about “gettin low” aren’t you??? I know it.

    mindy – I’m telling Frank you said that, and with all the ridicule he gets, I don’t think he’ll find this funny at all. And I can beat that guy. Jimmy (my genie) can hook it up!

    justin – You know, I was reading Wired last night, and I saw a picture of some woman in that show, and I thought, “Maybe this is why everyone in Portland likes it.”

    marcos – Sadly, I have no balls.

    melissa – Done! We could travel together and do shows, are you in? And thank-you. I was hoping someone would notice me Being Nice.

    allie – There is nothing wrong with doing the Beyonce butt pop. I commend you.

    kiala – You can come with Melissa and I. We’ll pretty much be the Coolest Dance Team Ever.

    1218 – Thanks! And hey, if they start throwing money my way, I could quit my job!

  16. All you have to do is search for the robot dance videos on Youtube and you’re set. Not that I’ve ever done that or anything…

  17. Fuck Frank! Haha.

    There’s always one …

    I know I’ve been comment slacking, but you continue to crack me up. Do how you do.

  18. I’m buying you, Melissa, and Kiala copies of You Got Served for my birthday (because I don’t know when any of you were born and, shit, it’s all about me anyway).

  19. I just had to google You Got Served.

    From IMDB: All of the film’s battles were very competitive in real life. The fight that breaks out during the first battle with Wade’s crew was not in the script, but everyone was so mad at each other that they just started fighting. While filming the opening battle, the director would yell “cut”, but Omarion Grandberry kept battling with Columbus Short. Omari does a back flip, while at the same time Columbus does a move that looks like he is pulling David up. This was not in the original choreography; it was a true battle.

    And that’s what our dance team will be: True Battle.

  20. Why are people in the bodega asking you where the trash bags are? Do you have a second job I don’t know about?

    I don’t know why you’re keeping this from me. You know how I love bodega men.

  21. Ha-ha! Pop and Lock!

    I have a crazy vision in my head of you approaching another Pop Locker and you guys battling it out in the middle of a crowded street!


  22. I have a friend that can do the robot and let me tell you, he gets a lot of love. From dudes. Chicks not so much.

    In fact when we play pick up football we let him score so he can bust it out.

  23. Wait a second, this isn’t part of CYOB? I’m having trouble absorbing regular blogs today.

  24. I too do the robot at inappropriate times so basically every single second of my life.

  25. ashley

    I’m sure if you tried hard enough you could totally do the robot. I think we all secretly want to hold that talent.

  26. stephanie – Right…

    brooklyn – There is always one to fuck everything up. And thanks man. No worries on the comments, I only consider slitting my wrists if I get below three.

    justin – Yes!

    melissa – Words cannot express my excitement. Although I guess I just tried to do that.

    ari – Yes, I know. You love him and his frozen candy bar section. I’ll never be as good as him, okay???

    diva – Oh, it is on!

    rs27 – Well, at least he still gets to score! Yeah, that was awesome, I know.

    noelle – I know. I had to take a break from it.

    julie – You get cooler every day.

    ashley – I am going to try my best.

  27. Wow. You’re just like Aladdin. He was nice to his genie too.

    If I had a genie, I would be nice and only ask for reasonable things.

    That’s just how I roll.

  28. This cracks me up!

    If I could do the robot, I’d do it ALL OF THE TIME! But it’s definetly not one of 3 wishes, maybe 1 of a million & I would totally pull that shit on my genie.

  29. curlysue

    Oh the Robot is hilarious. Ever thought about the worm too?! 😉

  30. Can I join your dance team? I’ll bring matching wrist/headbands for everyone so we’ll be coordinated. Don’t wanna look stupid or anything!

  31. I would also ask for the ability to moonwalk and do the work because I’m greedy like that.

  32. I meant the worm but apparently I can’t type, lol.

  33. tia

    i would have you perform at my twenty-seventh birthday party.

    maybe it would make me feel better.

  34. I can do that breakdancing move where you lock your hands together and your arms do the wave from one side to another.

    But not very well.

  35. megkathleen

    I think I’d rather be able to do the Carlton. But if I had one wish from a genie I’d want perfect witty insults ready to go for every possible situation. Haha – then I could be funny mean.

  36. kristen – I think my genie and your genie would be friends. Can you say slumber party???

    jamie – You are not nice to genies.

    curlysue – The worm is good. But then you have to be all over the ground, and sometimes there is gross stuff there.

    meghan – Great idea! Make sure they’re hot pink. All the best teams wear hot pink.

    maxie – Hahaha – no, “the work” is a very hard dance.

    tia – I promise it would.

    hahsound – That is pretty cool. I can’t do anything remotely that cool.

    megkathleen – I like the way you think. Funny mean is the best kind of mean there is.

  37. you’re a considerate guy. Just one wish

    guess that means I’m just greedy. Oh well.. lol
    The robot eh?

    You mean you don’t wanna get down with “Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em”?

    (laughs to herself.. what a name.)

  38. dude, there’s like the basic robot…and then there’s the MASTER robot. the video you had hyperlinked was MASTER LEVEL ROBOT. or really just plain poppin’ and lockin’ style. cause you know the real robot is the dance where people just move their arms all stiff, thinking it looks funny….

    would you really want to be the master of that? you gotta get your wish right or you could be the next buttend of a genie joke.

  39. Pingback: spellbound « surviving myself

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