I could fall pretty far and still live.
It’s really a unique skill I have.
This is a point I have tried to make to Ari, J.P. and countless others.
“But how far, Chris? How far???” You must be asking yourself.
If you’re not asking yourself that then you must have Something Better To Think About and if that’s the case then please email me so we can talk about How You Feel. Or maybe I’ll just steal the idea for my next post.
I could fall eight stories and still live.
No problem at all.
I’d probably break my legs, but otherwise I’d be fine.
Of course I’d shield my face from the fall, because if anything happened to it I’d be out of my job as a George Clooney look-a-like and that would be A Bad Thing. George gets a huge attitude when things go wrong – trust me, it’s not pretty.
See, the secret is that you have to roll when you hit the ground.
I learned that from watching movies about combat, like Navy Seals.
Also, I wouldn’t be running and jumping out of the window, it’d be a slow and controlled fall.
Frankly, I laugh when I hear about people dying from falling out of windows at anything under eight stories.
Okay, maybe I don’t laugh.
But I certainly think about how I would have done things better and not have let some enraged lover push me out – because that is just silly.
I think that my ability to fall really far and still live would even make me something of a celebrity.
I can see the headlines now, “Man Falls Eight Stories and Lives! Cool Blog Too!”
I’d be in the hospital and everyone would Feel Bad For Me and I’d get rich from the book deal and George would be okay with it because my face would be fine and I’d tell people to read my blog and they would and maybe I wouldn’t even have to do the dishes anymore.
I imagine it’ll go something like that.