current event

Look at you.


Look at that beautiful smile.

And the hair! My god the hair! Do you know what I’d do for hair like yours???

I’d eat a monkey.

Yes, Ernie, an entire monkey. Not cooked or anything – I’d just pop that sucker right in my mouth.

You are The Great Ernie Anastos – news anchor for New York’s beacon of news reporting Fox 5 – and everything goes your way. You rule this city with teeth that can be seen from the Jersey Shore.

But while you are this amazing example of What A Man Should Be – I must admit – I’m worried about you.

I think you need to take a break.

How will the people get their extreme right wing news in this city without you?

That is for them to worry about my good friend.

I know, I know, you enjoy coming up with new things for people to be unnecessarily scared about, but let someone else take over for a little bit. Yes, I remember Bird Flu! That was a classic Ernie, no one will forget that.

But what you need is a break from all this quality news reporting.

Come hang out with me, we’ll have a couple beers, and we won’t talk about how great the war in Iraq is going.

No, Ernie, not even for a couple minutes.

It’s time. Let’s kick back and let the people see Casual Ernie.

chillin like a villian

That’s it.

You beautiful son-of-a-bitch you.


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31 responses to “current event

  1. Wow.

    I didn’t think anyone could be prettier than Matt Lauer.

    I was so very wrong.

  2. Shit.

    I’m first again aren’t I?

  3. Those have got to be dentures. The hair’s all his, though, and I applaud him for that. Bastard.

  4. I don’t know Ernie since I don’t live in NY, but based on this post, he sounds like someone I’d probably want to make out with.

  5. Rachel

    Wow–Ernie and George out for a night on the town? I hope the ladies can handle it.

  6. he sounds like the f-ing hottest thing to happen to Republican biased news stations since Sean Hannity.

  7. Sometimes after a run, a shower and some sex, I feel like that first picture. It’s what I call heaven.

  8. his hair looks like a Brillo pad, his skin like rubber, and those awful teeth…what are they, Chiclets??
    I hope by beautiful you meant BUTT *SS UGLY!

    sorry he scares me.

    check out Dominique Sachse (our channel 2 news anchor) She is smoken hott!!

  9. Ben

    Wow. US News anchors bring hair plugs to a whole new level, don’t they?

  10. I bet Ernie’s the sort of guy that turns down high fives.

    I’m just saying.

  11. Is he really wearing a pink striped shirt with a purple tie and a burberry scarf in that last picture?

    I am worried about him also…

  12. Jo

    Those teeth are nothing short of impressive.

    A bit like a full moon.

  13. Porcelain veneers, I’d wager.

    And do you know how disappointed I am to have that bit of knowledge sucking up precious mental real estate? Don’t know my kids’ names, but thanks to working for a dental software manufacturer for 4 years, I remember “porcelain veneers.”

  14. kristen – Ernie scoffs at Matt.

    mickey – Right.

    mindy – Oh, you would, and you’d never be the same after him.

    rachel – They surely cannot!

    ashley – Hahaha – yes, you nailed it.

    melissa – Yeah, that sounds about right.

    allie – She’s not all that!

    ben – They try their hardest.

    hollywood – You take that back!

    matt – It’s Casual Ernie – give him a break.

    jo – Yes, beautiful and shiny.

    jen – Thank you. I’ll tell him you said so.

    justin – Yeah, and I know that it takes a pizza 4 minutes to come out of the oven at Ledo’s Pizza in Germantown Maryland.

  15. Im just saying…The first pic he has on a bright pink tie…

    The second pic, a pink shirt with a purple tie. Could only be one of three things

    a) A colorblind hetero Male.
    b) His mother dresses him still
    b) Something far worse….

  16. no one is as beautiful as Matt Lauer. Maybe if I saw this guy shirtless on a beach, I would change my tune.

    Is blue hair a sign of power?

  17. He’s the news reporter of my childhood memories.

  18. Ernie turns down high fives? WHATTTTT?!?!

    On a side note this world needs more people named Ernie/Ernest. I implore all the people that read this blog to name their first boy Ernie. We can make a difference!

    P.S. I will not be participating.

  19. he’s greek.

    ’nuff said.

    all greek’s are beautiful, well at least this greek is.

  20. Is he…is…is he GOD?

  21. megkathleen

    He looks so happy in that first picture. How do you get to be so happy? Is there a pill I can take?

  22. i bet you mentioning the jersey shore was a shout out to me, wasn’t it? what a man.

  23. Man-crush much? 🙂

  24. When chillin with Ernie, can you casually give him my blog address? Thanks, friend.

  25. Holy hell… Is that skin or leather? Never seen that guy before in my life (thankfully I am not cursed with the Fox Network or any of its scaremongering) but I can tell you he seriously needs to lay off the sunbeds!

    And the teeth..? I don’t really need to comment do I?

  26. sid

    But if he doesn’t talk about the war what will he talk about? Nothing. You guys will be drinking beers in silence.

  27. matt – I think it’s something far worse. And I’m scared to find out what that is.

    kelly t – Of course it is! Don’t be silly.

    deutlich – Do you mean creepy in a sexy man kinda way?

    noelle – Give him a hug. He has missed you.

    rs27 – Hollywood is lying. She lies because she is jealous of what she does not have – blue hair full of power.

    alexa – Greek’s are good looking. I agree.

    kiala – Only on Tuesdays.

    megkathleen – Yes, please email me and I’ll give you the name of my hook-up.

    rachel – It totally was.

    katelin – Yes.

    meghan – I will do that.

    kali – Hahaha – you are soooo lucky you don’t have Fox.

    sid – That is a very good point.

  28. “I’d eat a monkey”

    Hilarious! How do you come up w/this stuff?!?!

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