I have a wedding to go to tonight, so I thought I’d put together a To Do List.
I hear that People Who Have Their Lives Together do these kinds of things, so I thought it might help me.
To Do For Today:
(I think this is a good start – a title makes things Important)
- Make it through work without thinking too much about how I’m left-handed and I should get some kind of reward for that because it means I’m Unique and maybe even Awesome.
- Get cash out of ATM for booze, booze and some more booze. Also donuts.
- Memorize the lyrics to Return of the Mack because it is one of the greatest songs ever.
- Call Ari during lunch and recite memorized lyrics, once finished, wait for her to praise me.
- Once off work, give myself dap for A Job Well Done.
- Shower. Don’t forget behind the ears, people look there during weddings.
- Put on new suit.
- Smile at myself in the mirror because I look like a sexy beast. Or maybe just George Clooney.
- Get to the wedding On Time. This is What Adults Do.
- Try not to get too drunk.
- Having failed, try not to tell too many people that their shoes are ugly.
- Absorb Ari’s multiple discussions with me about “How to not be an asshole.”
- Go to after party.
- Drink more.
- Shake what my momma gave me.
- Catch cab home and try and prevent Ari from being mean to cabbie, like she always does when she’s wasted.
- Make grilled cheeses and Stuff Face.
- Go to sleep.
- Try and dream about being Batman.
- Wake up tomorrow and hate life.
I think that about covers it.