I had to buy new cologne yesterday because my bottle of old faithful had run out over last weekend.
To make this purchase I had to go to Sephora.
I was not happy about this.
If you’re a dude, going to Sephora is a lot like the pilgrims’ experience – it’s this strange land where everything smells different than what you’re used to, you have no idea how you’re supposed to act and as soon as you set foot in there the natives grow restless.
Luckily I found where the cologne was kept right away and made my way over to it. The good people of Sephora made it easy to find by lining the wall with huge posters of Naked Man Thighs.
It was a little disturbing.
Since I had my heart set on Trying Something Different, I started to smell the colognes.
Right away, the only dude in the entire store finds me.
I go into a store loaded with attractive women and the first person to approach me is a man. Not the hot dark-skinned woman with legs up to her neck, no, the slightly overweight man with a beard that so closely resembled A.J.’s from the Backstreet Boys that I felt uncomfortable.
He was nice though, and very thorough.
Each time he made me smell a new cologne that he picked out, and I would reply with something like, “That smells like soap” he only grew more determined.
Eventually I found something I liked and left feeling confident about my purchase. Or maybe I was just really high off of smelling 15 different colognes.
When I got home I excitedly sprayed it on myself and asked Ari, “Well, what do you think?”
She replied, “It’s good. But I like your old stuff better.”
I go out of my way to try Something New and this is what I get.
No one ever has any love for the pilgrim.