People like to talk about phenomenons.
They are in awe of the Aurora Borealis, they wonder about the Bermuda Triangle and some question the existence of the Loch Ness Monster.
Though I can assure you that Nessy exists because she’s sick of being called Nessy when in fact her name is Martha. She also knits. But she’s terrible at it.
While I can see the draw of these unique occurrences, none of them comes close to what has happened to me today on my way to work.
I have a rock in my shoe.
Of course it’s not a big rock because it never is, is it?
It’s always a little pebble that disappears for awhile, so I think “Oh, it must’ve been nothing, I can go on with my life without this annoyance.” But then, just when I think everything is Back To Normal, it reannounces its presence, which causes me pain and makes me think, “How the hell does this even happen???” Sort of like when Ashton Kutcher stars in another movie.
I really don’t understand this phenomenon at all.
Last I checked, I was not rolling around in a pile of gravel, so it couldn’t have happened there.
And I keep my shoes laced tightly because one never knows when one needs to Hurry or maybe outrun a crazy person.
So I have no idea how I can get a rock in my shoe and it bothers the hell out of me.
Forget the Bermuda Triangle, we need to get to the bottom of this Unexplained Event.
Because if I get just one more rock in my shoe, I’m telling Martha to sew all of you mittens for your birthdays, and trust me, no one likes mittens that don’t fit.