It must be hard to be Osama bin Laden.
He’s this crazy terrorist dude who the entire world wants to find and eventually kill or put in jail until his beard is so long that it touches the ground and that is just gross.
So he has been in hiding since forever, and no matter what our genius of a president has done, he has somehow been unable to find him. Which makes me think that Osama must’ve been one hell of a Hide n’ Seek player as a boy, one of those kids who would hide so well that you’d eventually just give up and go home for dinner because you couldn’t find him.
Imagine living in caves for years and years.
Not very fun.
No watching Jeopardy! every night. No tuna casserole for dinner, because that is just not happening when you live in a cave. The tuna would stink up the place for days.
Also, there’s the fact that Osama hates everything.
He hates Jews, gays, drinking (!), gambling, the entire United States (!), Israel, women and children – and that’s just on Tuesdays!
Osama really has no interest in liking anything.
Well, aside from Jeopardy! and tuna casserole, because call him what you will – the man knows good things when he sees them.
I don’t think I would ever be able to make it through life having to hate everything, so I know it’s got to be tough on Osama.
I bet there are days when he wishes he could just kick off his sandals, grab a piña colada, lounge around the pool and check out all the fully-clothed women sun bathing around him.
But he can’t.
Osama must sit in his dark, gloomy cave and think of new things to hate every single day.
I just hope my blog isn’t next.