I think I’d like to fight Sean Connery.
For no other reason than just to see what I’m made of.
Most people like to do things like bungee jumping off a bridge, backpacking the Grand Canyon and sky diving to push themselves to their limits, but not me.
I think engaging in hand-to-hand combat with a 77-year-old man would suit me best.
Of course it would have to be bare knuckles, because I’m sure Connery doesn’t fight any other way. And that’s fine with me. I ain’t scared.
I bet you’re thinking, “Well, how exactly do you plan on getting Connery to fight you?”
Connery will fight anyone for any reason at any time.
I’ll just catch him at a local coffee shop, tell him that only wusses eat plain bagels and it’ll be on!
And I’m sure the fight will be epic too. He’ll probably say something like (in your best Connery voice please) “You’ll never take me alive you bastard!” Then he’ll throw a chair through the window, just because it would be dramatic and Kind Of Awesome at the same time.
I think I could hold my ground though. At least for a little while.
Sure, he’d probably bloody my nose, separate my shoulder and maybe give me a mean Indian Burn, but I figure I’d get in at least three punches before I went down.
I’m going to do it.
I’m going to fight Sean Connery just because I feel the need to do it. If anyone wants to come watch the fight, just let me know.
But first you have to work on your Connery voice.
It’s pretty terrible.