I’m a big fan of using Paper-Rock-Scissors to solve any Difficult Decisions in my life.
If Ari and I are trying to figure out who has to take Jack out in the rain – we’re throwing down. If a friend and I are choosing which bar to go to – better get ready to rumble.
One, two, three – shoot! And just like that, all decisions are made for you. Of course, it’s best to do two out of three. I’m not some idiot who lives life on the edge by just throwing once.
I really think that if Paper-Rock-Scissors was more prominent in our society, it would lead to nothing but positives.
Important Political Dude: “So, this is it, I win this last one and we don’t invade Iraq.”
Bush: “Yeah, yeah I got it. Quit yer stalling, city boy – you’re going down!”
[Important Political Dude throws rock, effectively crushing Bush’s scissors play]
Important Political Dude: “Yes! Okay, you lose, no invading Iraq.”
Bush: [Face red with anger] “Dangnabbit! Fine. What other countries have lots of brown people?”
And not only on this scale – imagine how much better your life would be if Paper-Rock-Scissors was used in everyday situations.
Like when you and your Special Someone are deciding whether to have kids.
Your Other wants to have kids, you don’t. Obviously the best way to determine this decision is to play the game. And don’t you dare go with some rookie move of playing scissors first – if you do, diarrhea diapers here you come buddy.
I am asking you, what better way is there to make Difficult Decisons? And no, don’t even try and tell me about Drawing Straws, I’m not a little boy.
I’m a man and I need Man Things like Paper-Rock-Scissors to determine my path in life.
That’s how I roll, and I suggest you do the same.