Here we are again.
I see you have another movie coming out. Yes, I’m proud of you, but no, I’m not going to see it.
C’mon Ben. Let’s not do this again. We did this after Meet The Parents. I told you, I just don’t think you’re very funny. Actually, what I said was, and I am reiterating this again: “You really fucking suck.”
I know, I know, your movies always make tons of money, and believe me, that makes me happy for you. It’s great that people pay money to see you play the exact same dumb ass character in every single movie you make. Hey – look at Adam Sandler – he’s made a career that way too!
What – no Ben – no! I don’t want to hear about how different Tropic Thunder is going to be.
Because it’s not.
You know it’s not and so do I.
What do you do in this movie Ben? Let me guess. Do you somehow manage to get yourself tangled in an awkward situation and then the wild and crazy hijinks ensue?
Well – I’m shocked!
Oh jesus man, if you do that damn Zoolander face one more time, I swear to god – I don’t fucking care about “Blue Steel” dude – I just don’t! Yes, it was funny the first time, but not anymore! It’s time to move on!
Look, we’re friends, right? So I can tell you this and it won’t hurt your feelings, right? You’re terrible. You’re not funny and really never have been. You’re also one of the worst actors of all time, and if you keep starring in these fucking dumb movies, you’ll dethrone Keanu as the worst ever.
Yeah, well, I know. But I thought Point Break was pretty sweet, so that gives him points over you if I needed a tiebreaker.
I know, as they say, the truth hurts. It’s going to be alright buddy, just keep your head up and try and think about others before you make another movie that makes people cry inside.
Oh, yeah, sure man. I’ll still come over Friday for Pizza and Pop Night.