The name invokes many thoughts, feelings and even memories, doesn’t it?
Right now you’re probably thinking of that time when you heard “Livin’ on a Prayer” and you thought to yourself that you could identify with Tommy who used to work on the docks and was down on his luck because you, too, thought life “is tough, so tough.”
Or maybe you’re thinking of how great you felt when you belted out “You Give Love a Bad Name” while downing cans of Busch Light at the local bar and the woman with blonde highlights and cut-off jean shorts thought you “rocked” and went home with you even after you vomited on her leg.
But not me.
I don’t have fond thoughts.
I hate Bon Jovi and I want them to go away.
The only thing that gives me an once of respect for them is that they produced a pretty decent song for Young Guns 2, which was a bad ass movie.
Other than that, I could be perfectly happy with my life if I never had to hear “Livin’ on a Prayer” or any other song by them again.
For awhile, I thought that I was in the clear.
There were some years when the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and no one had heard from Jon (Your name is really spelled John, by the way, you fucking ass – what, taking the “h” out of your name made you that much more rocking?) and the gang for quite some time.
Then they came storming back with the single “It’s My Life,” which makes me want to stab my ears with a spoon because it is so damn cheesy.
And just like that – no more sun shining and no more birds chirping.
Just the sound of terrible pop music sung by a man who sports a woman’s haircut while jamming to guitar riffs played by quite possibly the ugliest man alive. Okay, it’s a toss-up between him and Tom Petty.
My hate for Bon Jovi has been reignited because it has just been announced that the band will be playing here at Central Park on the 12th.
Guess who’s going to that show?
I’m going to show up early so I can get a front row seat, and when that bastard comes on stage, I’m going to tell him how I feel and maybe throw my dirty socks at his head.
I’ve had enough Bon Jovi.
The shitty music must stop.
Get ready for hell.