Everyone seems to be pretty pleased with this new movie, Wall-E.
Here’s why: Those fuckers at Disney ripped off the second best robot movie (behind Robocop of course) of all time, Short Circuit.
Wall-E is an exact copy of Short Circuit’s star, Johnny 5.
Of course I have compiled Scientific Evidence to prove my point.
Here is Wall-E.
Awww, he’s so cute.
Look at him playing with that Rubik’s Cube, it only makes me want to vomit in my mouth once.
Now here’s Johnny “Motherfucking” 5. I added the motherfucking for effect. It’s my Artistic License.
Wall-E has the exact same head, the exact same wheels, and almost identical hands.
You’re pissed off right now, aren’t you? I know!
This is bullshit!
How can Disney so blatantly disrespect 1) A bad-ass robot and 2) Steve Guttenberg???
Steve was in Three Men and a Baby (with Tom Selleck!!!) and Police Academy – two additional classic movies! Has the world gone mad???
Are pigs flying?
Did McDonald’s stop making commercials that are just fucking terrible and finally realize that the best ones they ever had starred the Hamburgerlar?
It’s times like these when I really, really start to question if The End Of Days is upon us.
When I can’t live my life in peace, knowing that gems from my childhood will remain intact and Unfuckedwith, I just don’t feel safe anymore.
I’ll tell you what, this Injustice, this Abomination, WILL NOT STAND. I’m calling Johhny 5 and I’m calling Steve and we’re going on a roadtrip to kick Wall-E’s ass.
You think I get worked up over Things That Don’t Matter?
Just wait until you see Steve Guttenberg get gully – it’s not for the faint of heart.