I like to consider myself a stylish dude when it comes to clothes, but every time I start to get a big ego about the way I dress, Ari always likes to remind me of these:


Those are the S. Carter Tennis Lows.  I once owned a pair of these shoes.

And wore them.

In public.

I’m not even joking with you.  I actually went to a store and purchased those shoes for $110.

I remember going into a Foot Locker, picking them out, and thinking, “Oh, these are those new Jay-Z shoes – I should get these!”

Then I showed them to this girl I was with at the time, and she said, “Oh. Those? Yes, those are nice.”  In retrospect I should have been a little more perceptive and realized that what she was really saying was, “Oh, those might be the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen.  They’ll make people laugh at you.  A lot.”

But you have to understand something about me:  I did not always care about fashion or style, so the S. Carters were a huge step for me.

I looked like this only a couple years before then, for god’s sake:

I was this pseudo hippie with gross dreads who wore patchwork pants and tie-dye Grateful Dead t-shirts all the time.

My idea of Looking Nice was wearing an old button up shirt I bought from Goodwill that may or may not have been worn by a 70’s porn star.  And it was poop brown.

So really, when you think about it, the S. Carters were not that bad compared to what I was wearing just a few years prior to buying them.

In fact, maybe during lunch today I’ll go out and buy a pair and impress Ari with my fashion sense all over again.

Only this time I think I’ll get them in blue.

They’ll go with more of my outfits.


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64 responses to “chic

  1. uhh. perhaps there is something wrong with me — i quite like those shoes! but i also like the pseudo-hippie with gross dreads and tie-dye dead shirts. go figure. 😉

  2. I actually like those shoes…how stupid am I?

    I bought a new purse yesterday and my daughter said she hated it and I bought it anyway because I LOVE IT and then I showed it to my husband and he just looked at me and didn’t say anything.

    I guess it’s ugly.

    But fuck everybody. It makes me happy and I’m keeping it.


  3. Except for the fact that they are twice as expensive as I would ever pay for sneakers they really aren’t all that bad. In fact, they might be quite smart.

  4. all i can say is “lol dreads!” 🙂

  5. Oh, I love the picture of stoner Chris! Were you getting irie in Miami? Looks like it. Of course, if it were Miami, getting irie (am I spelling that right) in those dreads, the beach is the only place you’d be welcome.


    The point is, I think those shoes are cute. I’d wear them with a skirt and a little t-shirt and look kicky and fun.

    But I guess they are awfully bright white. Is that what’s wrong? Or is it the green stripe? Or is Jay-Z lame?

    Okay, I live in Portland. Give me two years and I’ll be like oh those are HORRIBLE!

  6. Matt

    At least you didnt sport the hair do and the s dots at the same time.

    or did you? Hmmm…

  7. I think you’re the only person who reads your blog that doesn’t like those shoes. Wait, do you even read your blog?

  8. Matt

    Dude what the fuck…I was the first one to comment…then by the time I hit submit, there are 5 people ahead of me.

    not cool…

  9. Um, you might want to take Ari shopping with you. Just a suggestion.

  10. not to stroke your already inflated ego more, but you actually pulled off the hippy, dread head look while still managing to look semi-attractive.

    at least you know you have something to fall back on in case the…New You doesn’t work out. (I was trying to think of some great little phrase for a Manhattanite metrosexual and came up with New You instead…shit.)

  11. I agree with everone else. I like the shoes. But then, I’m not a fashioista like you.
    And I have a soft spot for dreadie hippie boys from my stoner days… good times, good times.

  12. Okay, now I have to find you the picture of dreadlocked Dane.

    It’s like you two are soulmates.

    And I agree with Crissy. I kind of like those shoes.

  13. nice ‘do.

    seriously, nice. i can almost smell it just through the picture. i hope you shower now… for Ari’s sake

  14. I totally had those shoes in black and pink–on the same shoe. I’m classy.

  15. I think they will go nicely with that new suit you just bought. Also that picture is classic.

  16. Thank you for coping me

  17. What’s wrong with the shoes?

    Also, you totally rocked the dreads look. You look HOT.

  18. lurker here. those kicks are not so bad. particularly when compared to these “scarface” sneakers. i gut i dated briefly wore these. (yeah, that was our last date)….

  19. Ben

    Wow. Ari did more than just slap a fresh coat of paint on you, didn’t she?

  20. Yes! I thought I was the only one. My S. Carters were tan/brown though and demanded attention. That’s why I had it worst.

    Dude…you use to look like the guy people would go to for smack.

  21. Dreads? Not a great look.

    Trainers? Erm… they’re a bit chavvy (but then, so is Burberry but people still buy it)

    All in all, I think you’re doing better now.

  22. …….dreads?…….really?……..

    what happened in your life that made you go from wanting to be Bob Marley to wanting to be Jay-Z?

  23. You bought the S. Carters… I bought the Phat Farm shell toes back in 2000. Not a proud moment in my life. We’ve come a long way bro… a long way!

  24. Ari has molded you into her own image.

  25. almost – Well, there’s a place for both of those I guess.

    kristen – You’ve got to do you! That sounded dirty, but you know what I mean.

    dutchess – This seems to be the popular opinion here…

    jessica – Hahaha – I know…

    melissa – If you still lived in CA you’d hate them.

    matt – No, thank god I didn’t. And sorry about that man.

    fort – I fucking hate my blog.

    marie – Oh I do now for sure.

    erikka – Thanks, and New You works, I like it.

    sassy – Oh yes, they were some good days, weren’t they?

    kiala – Please do! Put it up on your blog today!

    jenny – Only on Tuesdays.

    maxie – Hahaha – yes!

    lissa – Good idea.

    coimbra – I have no idea what that means.

    kali – Thanks! Maybe I should’ve kept them…

    voice – Hey, thanks for delurking! And damn, those shoes are fucking terrible! I think you made the right decision.

    ben – Hahaha – yes, yes she did.

    cruz – Hey, the first step in recovery is admitting you wore them. And yeah, people used to ask me for pot and acid all the time.

    nutty – Thanks, so do I.

    reallife – I got arrested for smoking pot.

    mental – Yes we have my friend. Thank god.

    dan – Yes?

  26. Awww, Chris, you were SOOO adorable! I mean, I don’t know about the patchwork pants, but still!

    I like the dreads. 🙂

    And I want to hear the arrested-for-smoking-pot story!!!

  27. Also? I’ve seen guys wearing WAY worse shoes…

    If those are the worst of your (fashion) problems, you are are lookin’ good, my friend! 😉

  28. I liked the shoes and the dreads. How am I employed in the fashion industry?

  29. Rachel

    can you post your mug shots tomorrow? I’m dying to see if they’re with or without dreads…

  30. DDG

    You might look like a hippie , but you did have a tan! And you’re sporting a somewhat rough little beard-thingie and getting away with it.

  31. megkathleen

    I can’t believe you got arrested for smoking pot! I want to hear more about it…and, yeah, the shoes are horrible. Thank God you know better now.

  32. I can’t believe you had dreads.

  33. deutlich

    For the record, I looked at those shoes and went, “Damn! Those are fan-friggin-tastic”

    ..and I’m not even kidding.

  34. i’m pretty sure i’d wear those shoes… but i’m not sure if i should say that because i fear that knuckle punch of ari’s

  35. Maybe my cops were strangely relaxed about this stuff, but despite two or three summonses, I was never brought in.

    (Also, leaving Bob Marley for Jay-Z doesn’t exactly imply leaving weed.)

  36. If this is your worst fashion faux pas then you are a much, much better man than me.

    The fact that you are a better man than me actually has nothing to do with the sneakers – but they didn’t hurt.

  37. You should get the shoes. And I’ll get them. Then we’ll match. But not.

  38. i love that you went from dreads and poop colored button ups to $110 shoes. quite the change up.

  39. Those shoes are just meh. White shoes should be left to nurses and porn stars and porn stars dressed as nurses.

    Dread Chris, what exactly do you mean by pseudo-hippie? Did you vote Republican?

  40. nancypearlwannabe

    You had dreads and Jay-Z shoes? I don’t know whether I admire that or I want to throw up a little. I’m leaning towards the former.

  41. jen – Thanks – and yes that story will come another time. Oh, and they’re not my worst, just Ari’s favorite to make fun of.

    stealth – You must know something I don’t.

    rachel – Hahaah – I’ll look them up.

    ddg – Oh man, that beard was terrible, but thanks.

    megkathleen – Another post I guess, and yes, thankfully I do know better.

    free – I know, sometimes I can’t believe it either.

    deutlich – Hahaha – at least you admitted it.

    julie – Good thinking.

    jessica – I know, I still smoked for awhile after that.

    narm – Believe me, it’s not my worst.

    meghan – Done and done.

    katelin – Crazy, right?

    dingo – I agree. And anyone who wasn’t a hippie during the actual hippie movement wasn’t/isn’t a real hippie.

    nancy – Really? Well, I’m glad you didn’t throw up.

  42. I used to peg my pants and I owned a pair of white faux leather cowboy boots. Oh, and I had a perm.

    We’ve all been there.

  43. I honestly see nothing wrong with those shoes.

    If you cant rock the Sean Carters, then the terrorists have won.

  44. I’m having trouble finding a problem with the shoes. But then again, I’m wearing a hoodie right now, and I’m at work.

  45. so i looked at those shoes and thought they were nice looking! i mean no one really needs to know they are jay z brand right?

    yeah i can’t rationalize it.

    on the other hand,

    YOU WERE A HIPPIE!!!!!?!??!?!?!

    shut up! i love it – but this is coming from a former patchouli patchwork wearing girl

  46. Did your hair smell when you had dreads? I bet it did.

  47. I really don’t think they’re that bad!

    Then again, I have no style. I was in a play once and had to wear little girl black shoes. Strap and all. I thought they were SO CUTE so I wore them to school. A lot.

    In fact I still have them.

    Man, I love style.

  48. Men’s fashion totally baffles me. Just when I think I understand what shoes are acceptable or not, someone throws me a curve ball. Around my office, the cool kids all wear the Nikes with crazy patterns and colors, and a shirt or hat that matches the fluorescent green or whatever in the shoe. I guess that’s what the kids are doing these days?

  49. your girlfriend – Oh damn!

    rs – Yes, I guess they have.

    noelle and everyone – They are so bland!!! Shoes should have some style to them!

    alexa – You were??? Alright! Welcome! Did you go to Phish shows like I did?

    mindy – Yes, like awesome.

    lauren – Hey, at least you owned it!

    megan – I have no idea either.

  50. Goose

    To be honest, as a man of style (as the girlfriend would hopefully agree…) I thought the shoes were fine. Every man should have a pair of white sneakers in his wardrobe.

  51. Goose

    Also how the hell did the winky face get in there?! I didn’t put it there! DAMN YOU WORDPRESS!!!!

  52. JK

    Jay-Z is hot, those shoes are not…for $110. Otherwise, they’re really not that bad except that well….they’re not that good either.

  53. Those shoes are really… white.

    And wow! How did you go from pseudo-hippie to such a snazzy dresser?

  54. well, props to you for pulling off white shoes. i can’t do that because i’d always get them dirty. easily.


  56. i really hope thats a joint.

    you dirty hippie.

  57. Oh, dear. The white guy dreads are always a bad choice. It’s like, “Hey, I’m a poser and I have hygiene problems,” and that is a two-fer-Tuesday no one should want.

  58. SHUT UP YOU DID NOT HAVE DREADS. Haha, that’s awesome. Plus, I like those shoes. Whatever, my sense of style is awesome.

  59. Don’t lie to me. That is not you. Fucking lies.

  60. I also like the shoes.
    Losing the dreds was a good call, though.

  61. Yeah I won’t lie, as a woman I kind of like those shoes but I would like them more in blue. $110? Damn, for white shoes??

  62. amindinmotown

    Okay, the shoes are really pretty nice – thinking they look similar to some Nikes of yesteryear though – although $110 for a pair of white shoes may be a bit on the ridiculous side … this is, of course, coming from a girl who just last night paid $25 for a tank top.

    I do, however, think you should have stuck with the dreads look. Hippies, even the pseudo ones, are fairly awesome. Ha.

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