Last night on the train ride home, I was thinking about how I love Beat It, but I can’t get fully behind a song that is essentially telling me to turn and run like a frightened little boy when faced with any sort of conflict.
I just can’t.
Then, while making a sad face On The Outside, I looked up and saw this.
This man had hair like I had never seen before, so of course I started to think about him and his life.
I wonder what his parents think? Actually, his parents probably haven’t spoken to him for years because his father never understood The Hair even though his mother supported it.
He’s definitely in a relationship of some kind. No doubt about it. There is always someone out there who will see beauty in the hideous. People still go see Mike Myers movies, right?
What was the thought process before he decided to do this to himself?
One day, while sitting on his couch, he must’ve just decided: I am going to grow hair that upsets people. I don’t care. My hair will grow and grow and people will resent me for it until I die.
And the job he must have! It must be an amazing job, something that allows him to rock hair like that without fear of termination.
In fact, he must be a Wizard.
He must be on his way home from The Upper East Side, where magic happens all the time. A land where people live in million dollar one bedroom apartments and there are street corners without crackheads trying to sell you a tent.
All of these thoughts happened between when I saw him get on and when I had to step off at my stop.
I wanted to ask him about being a Wizard.
I wanted to ask him to teach me a spell that would make be able to do The Robot really well.
But I didn’t get the chance to.
I stepped off the train, looked back through the window and watched as the Wizard left my life forever.
He was probably going to do Wizard Business for The Good Of The World, helping the poor and assisting the needy.
Or maybe he was just going to visit his dad and turn him into a frog.