I love Fridays.
Not just for the fact that it’s the start of the weekend when anything can happen, from drinking too much and partying to drinking too much and sitting on the couch, but because it’s an instant conversation piece.
Fridays are something that you can always bring up in the office, and feel safe that the person opposite you will respond pleasantly.
The weather is another great fall back conversation. Remark on how it “Looks like rain” and you can slip away safely, back to your work/blogs/porn.
But when it comes to classics, Friday Lines trump all.
When someone you don’t feel like talking to approaches and asks how things are going, you can always bust one out, “Well, it’s Friday, can’t complain!” And safely avoid actually having to think.
The Friday Line is always lame and terrible, but trust me, it’s a lot safer than the things you’d rather say.
“Hey Steve, good to see you’re still wearing that shirt even though the pit stains have cemented.”
“Oh hi Barbara, yeah, I love that you never actually do any work yet somehow still have a job.”
“No, Carl, really, I think it’s great that you fart all the time and people think it’s me.”
“Hey, don’t come too close there Sue, I drank tequila last night and your nasty perfume is making my stomach notice your Poor Decision.”
“Looking great Laura – that skirt really shows off those cankles.”
“Yeah Jim, I feel much better knowing that you got that boil removed off your back.”
“See you tomorrow Dan, though I hope I don’t, one more conversation with you about the feeding habits of deer and I may have to gut you.”
This is the reason the Friday line is the best decision. It keeps you out of these kinds of conversations, which will only lead to hurt feelings and maybe the end of your employment.
Though that might be a good thing, seeing as how we all know Carl is never going to stop.