the first step is admitting you have a problem

I have an addiction.

Ever since the site Someecards.com launched their “create your own cards” section, I have been making my own cards.

Nonstop.

It has gotten in the way of doing things like working, reading other blogs and peeing.

The problem is that I think they should hire me, because every time I make one, I think it’s as good as the ones on the site.  And I imagine they pay at least four million a day, so if they just gave me a job, I could live like I’ve always wanted to – in a basement drinking beer in my underwear.

Here are some of my creations:

This is me at just about every Adult Gathering I have to attend.

 

It’s always good to know there are others out there just like you.

 

I think we all know someone with a dickwad for a boyfriend.  It started with you noticing he still rocked a chain wallet, and it was all downhill from there.

 

College.  And sadly, maybe even after college.

 

This is what I want our wedding invitations to be.  To Ari’s credit, she is really considering making them our “Save the Date” cards.  She’s just concerned her grandfather won’t understand it, but I’m telling you, that guy has The Electric in him – I can tell.

I’m sure by the end of the day today I’ll have about 37 more made, but these are just a few that stand out to me.

Someecards – holla’ at your boy.

I’ll be waiting for your call.

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65 Comments

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65 responses to “the first step is admitting you have a problem

  1. I MUST HAVE THE BOYFRIEND ONE!!!!!

  2. ughhhh i did not know this was an option on here! how new is this?! i’ve been making them myself a la photoshop – but this is WAY easier. nice find!

  3. JL

    Make one with someone doing something and say “look mom, no hands”… no. wait. Don’t do that. Ever.

  4. I’d like to thank you for bringing this into my life last week. I’d also like to ask if I can join SECAA with you. You know, SomeECardsAddictsAnonymous? I’m thinking I need the help….

  5. Ben

    You were MADE for someecards.

    Our wedding invitations will be a checklist of things to do before death.

    _ ride a horse on the beach at sunset

    _ eat drink a $1,000 bottle of champagne

    _ attend a homo wedding

  6. Those are pretty good, I admit. I have enjoyed making these too, but usually mine are only applicable to, like, one person: me. Still, they make ME laugh, and that’s all I really care about.

    -Jill

  7. Get hired by these people. You would make a FORTUNE!

  8. at least you’re good at something.
    always good to know.

    where’s my ecard??

  9. The boyfriend one is pretty fantastic 🙂

  10. Miz

    Awesome idea for Save The Dates! Make’em magnets so they’ll NEVER FORGET! 🙂

  11. Please tell me I can buy your creations? There are at least two there I would stock up on, seriously.

  12. Just brilliant. Granted, I’m easily amused, but so’s most of the population. I’m passing these around.

  13. It’s final. I’m going there to make my own cards.

  14. The electric slide will NOT be done at my wedding.

    The Cha Cha Slide, though…

  15. “I had fun acting like I enjoyed talking to you” ~ I need some hard copies of this card to send to ppl the day after social gatherings

  16. Between you making these and Moog’s motivation posters my friends are going to murder me for flooding their inbox.

  17. hahaha love it. They should hire you.

  18. I really liked the wedding ones. You should definitely send those out along with the invitations.

  19. That is by far the most perfect save the date cards I’ve ever seen. I have to get engaged right now so I can use them.

  20. I love them!

    I also think that you’re label “you-know-youve-slept-with-ugly-people” is fabulous.

    🙂

  21. Someecards should definitely call you! I’m especially a fan of “Please don’t do the Electric Slide at our wedding.” I, too, am worried about the random outbreak of that bastard dance and, if I ever get married, I will definitely be using that for the save-the-date cards! LOL

  22. I’m totally addicted to them, too.

    I think you might be better at it than me.

    Goddammit.

  23. inreallife – You know one too huh?

    ang – Much easier – enjoy – and tell your boss I said “sorry.”

    jl – Okay I won’t.

    stealth – Meetings are every Wednesday night at 7:30. Bring cookies.

    matt – Thanks.

    ben – Awesome!

    jill – Yes, that is all that really matters.

    marie – I know! I think they’d love me.

    jenny – I’ll send you one.

    free – Thanks!

    miz – Now that’s a good idea.

    kali – I don’t think you can, but you can buy the already made ones on the site. Mine are better though! Kind of.

    elle – Sweet.

    zibbs – Do it! It’s so much fun.

    lauren – Hahaha – noooooo!!!!

    mental – I knew you’d like that one.

    narm – Yeah, they do start to get annoyed.

    jamie – Thanks!

    douche – Believe me, I’m trying.

    dutchess – Ask the next guy you see!

    ingrid – Thanks, it’s sad, but very true.

    lboogie – Right, anyone does that and they get shot.

    kiala – No way, I know you’re just as good. Just try and be as cynical as possible.

  24. Nicely done, sir. How about a card for women after a one night stand like, “Thanks for helping me pretend I wasn’t gay for the night?”

    Also, don’t ask us to choose between you and the Electric Slide – I can’t do without it.

  25. i love, love, love the boyfriend one

  26. meagank

    Thank you, sir.
    I’m home sick today – and needed something to fill my time.

    huzzah!

  27. That’s some funny stuff right there. Obviously your life purpose is to quit your job and go work for them.

  28. Awesome. Yet another legitimate distraction to keep me from doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

  29. holy shit – these are brilliant! They say everything I’ve ever wanted to say in one sentence to people.

  30. someecards.

    hire this man! or at least pay him a few grand for these ides!

    brilliant chris.

  31. All this creativity is making my computer smoke. Oh wait, that’s because I spilled seltzer on it. Please, carry on.

  32. I like the one you sent me that said “Thanks for putting me on your blogroll even though your blog sucks.”

    Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

    That was funny!

    You meant that to be funny, right?

    Oh dear.

  33. I agree, they should totally hire you. Those are excellent!

  34. I didn’t even know they had this feature. I want to make one that says “I only came to your birthday party because I felt like I had to.”

  35. I may even steal the third one…

  36. Stamp these with your name so I can give you credit when I use them. Not “if” I use them, “when”. Because I will use these. Oh, how I will use these.

  37. megkathleen

    Amazing! They should definitely hire you.

    I’m stealing the boyfriend one – it’s perfect.

  38. pistols – I know, it’s not easy to give it up.

    maria – Send it!

    meagan – Have a good time, it will fill hours.

    lacey – Exactly.

    sonny – It’s perfect that way.

    twink – Thanks!

    alexa – Thanks, I’ll let you know if they listen to you.

    ddg – I know!

    noelle – You really should be more careful.

    kristen – Of course I did…

    todd – Send them an email!

    hollywood – Hahaha – that’s a good one!

    andy – Just give me credit!

    nico – Just send them to my blog. But tell them no hate mail! Or maybe just some.

    megkathleen – Nice.

  39. If you DON’T make that your save the date card, I think everyone here will be disappointed because you can’t top that.

  40. Oh my god, Chris, these are HILARIOUS!!!

    Can I commission you to create cards for me???

    I’ll pay you 4 million dollars… or, um, like a hug and a drink when/if we ever meet up? 😉

  41. I would purchase none of these cards since someecards is a free site. But if I had to pay I would gladly pay 10 cents for them.

    Genius.

  42. Dude, those are hilarious. I refused to let any Electric Slide-esque song to be played at my wedding.

    However, for the record, if I had to pick the worst wedding/dance song it would be the YMCA or the Macarena. They should all be outlawed really.

  43. Pants

    Thank you for helping me find something to distract me from cutting myself for the remainder of the day!

  44. okay i didn’t know you could create your own. that is awesome.

  45. Meg

    I think you found your calling. Well done!

  46. Genius.

    Pure, genius.

  47. um, yes, you are right. you should right someecards.

    and when did they start letting you write your own? seriously, should not have told me as work productivity for my entire team is about to go down……

  48. and i spelled write incorrectly. oh geez.

  49. as someone that really gets the “tone” of the site, i would say that you have truly grokked the voice and deserve at least a few million dollars a day for real.

    you’re still not better than me, but this is pretty fucking close.

  50. That is hilarious. I need to start doing that to avoid work at my job too. I like the regretting having sex with you. The guy looks like he means it.

  51. I take pride in receiving the first Chris-created someecard.

  52. two words, fucking awesome. I think I just found a new hobby. Thanks.

  53. Glorious! I especially enjoy the “superficial” one. People are so ridiculously plastic.

    So, are ya still pondering whether you’re satan or not? I seriously don’t think he’s this entertaining.

  54. GREAT. NOW *I* am addicted to making my own cards.

    THANKS for spreading the love. Gahhh!

  55. Echidnagirl

    Passing this one around a lot – thanks for the fabulous link.

  56. I’m going to HIRE people to do the electric slide at my wedding. that will be the highlight.

  57. this is all kinds of awesome. they should hire you, and I’ll be stealing some of these. if its okay with you…

  58. Confused

    Aw no, you’ve just infected me with your addiction! That was mean…
    I’m no good at it yet, but give me a week and my ecards will be kicking your ecards’ butts 🙂

  59. I am obsessed with Someecards as well. But I HAD NO IDEA that you could make your own.

    So now, you have made my day.

  60. You are a genius and could make millions!!! LOL

    I’m sending a link of your blog to everyone I know!

  61. Larissa

    I beg you to send that as your save the date card. I will post it proudly on my fridge!

  62. Maris

    These really are better than some of the someecards. I sadly haven’t been to the site in quite awhile b/c I didn’t know they had a create-your-own. Am I in for a fun day at work tomorrow 🙂

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