What is with America’s obsession with TV shows based around doctors?
First there was MASH, which made war funny like I imagine it is (Silly Johnny, he stepped on a landmine! But look, Radar is doing something quirky again!). Following that we had Doogie Howser, who set the stage for a TV show where we watched someone typing on a computer (Carrie Bradshaw anyone?). Then there was ER, a show that will continue to air even after the Earth explodes. Still, sensing that TV needed more doctor drama, there was Nip/Tuck, House (a doctor who plays by his own rules!) and Grey’s Anatomy.
I think that’s enough.
I don’t see what the lure is anyway, they’re all so damn fake. I don’t know about you, but my doctor visits are never anything remotely like what has happened on any of these shows.
My typical visit goes like this:
I walk in and scan the waiting room for the sickest looking person there, and find a seat as far away from them as possible. I don’t want whatever Mr. Red Face has. I’ve got my own problems to deal with.
This seat is always farthest away from the magazines. It never fails.
I sit until utter boredom takes over every cell in my body, including my sick ones, then venture over to get a magazine. Of course the only magazines they ever have are either for kids or old ladies. This gets to me, because what are they trying to say? “Clearly you are a weak man, because only toddlers and grannies get sick. Hahahaha! You poor, sickly excuse for a man.”
I select Good Housekeeping and spend the remainder of my time waiting for the doctor reading about 30 minute de-cluttering tips for the laundry room.
When I finally get called into the room by the nurse, I examine all the posters on the wall and think that I probably have four out of the five diseases on them.
Finally, after the doctor comes in and does his magic/gives me pills before I even say anything, I leave the office, making sure to appear healthier and Full Of Knowledge when I pass by the poor saps in the waiting room.
That’s it really.
That’s all that happens.
I never see any impromptu make-out sessions between doctors, I never get to hear anyone yell about weird lumps on someone’s ass and I never get to see people who have some kind of crazy rash they got from a secret government experiment.
Though I bet Mr. Red Face is not as innocent as he seems.