Ever have one of those days when you step out of your apartment, look down at your clothes, and think to yourself, “Well. I have made some Bad Choices in my life, but this may top them all?”
I’m having one of those days today.
There’s a very, very slight chance I might be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure I am wearing the world’s most boring outfit.
If the intense, petrifying boringness of The Notebook could somehow be manifested into clothes, that would be what I’m wearing right now.
The guilty party: One pair of gray slacks, one white (!) dress shirt, one pair of black shoes and one black and grey tie.
Did I mention the white shirt?
Why didn’t I just go ahead and go into full out I Don’t Care About Myself Mode and wear a short sleeve white dress shirt? That’s the only way it could be worse.
I would have taken a picture of myself, but I still want you to read my blog after today, so that sheer amount of boredom will have to be left up to your jobs.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
In my defense, I need to take my dry cleaning in, which is why I am currently dressed like a preacher from Wyoming, but this is just really bad.
I swear, I was walking from the gym to my office and people were falling asleep just looking at me! Poor people didn’t stand a chance against my outfit. They’ll be passed out on the street until at least noon.
Then I get into the office, step in the elevator and see a woman yawning. I know people! I understand what’s happened here and I’m sorry!
Because of my boring outfit, the rest of the day I’m going to have to be a hermit. When I go out for some lunch I’m just going to keep my head down and try not to look anyone in the eye.
After that – hey!
Are you still reading???
Wake up dammit!