accessorize

With winter fast approaching, my mind is turning to Important Things such as hot chocolate, the crunch of leaves under my feet and writing my name in the snow.  With my pee.

Another thing I have been thinking about forever or maybe just since I started writing this, is whether or not I should become a Scarf Guy.

I’ve never been a Scarf Guy before, but I’m thinking about giving it a try.  I don’t really know why other than I’m bored with my life and that minimal change would somehow make me feel like I’m Doing Something.

The more I think about becoming a Scarf Guy though, the more I realize there’s nothing minimal about this change at all.

It’s a major, life altering decision.

First of all, most Scarf Guys tend to look like this:

Pretty Jude - prettier than the prettiest woman.

Pretty Jude - prettier than the prettiest woman.

And yeah, I know.  Lots of women love Jude Law and his terrible movies about love and being in love and loving to love love.

But I don’t.

Plus, I see myself as more like this:

Looking for someone's ass to kick.

Looking to kick some ass.

Only with slightly more muscles and maybe a better haircut.

Then there’s also the fact that if I become a Scarf Guy, I’d have to start liking things like souffles, Yanni and art that doesn’t mean a damn thing other than the artist was more confused than Sarah Palin at a press conference.

I just don’t think I can do it.

But I guess you really never know.  There may come a time when I feel like looking like a complete wuss, but until then I will keep being Kick Ass and expose my neck to the elements.

That’s what all He Men do.

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49 Comments

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49 responses to “accessorize

  1. Please dress like Prince Adam instead. Tight white shirt with a pink collared vest (also tight) over it.

    P.S. if you try to look up pics of He-Man on Yahoo pictures you get pics of BJs. Almost broke the laptop closing it before Diana started asking questions….

  2. He Man was hot. He needs to update the hair though.

    Wear a scarf when you think your neck has frozen and about to fall off.

  3. First off, I’m a Scarf Guy, and have been for a couple years now and I look nothing like Jude Law, nor do I adopt any of his mannerisms.

    Secondly, I’d kindda prefer to look like Jude Law than He-Man. Do really wanna be running around with furry briefs and uggs?

    So I say go for it man… being a Scarf Guy isn’t that bad… and I’m cool enough to be living proof of that 😉

  4. Ben

    Nah scarves are easy. Just don’t fiddle with it too much when you’re walking down the street. Be all, “yeah, it’s there but I barely even notice ’cause I’m too cool.”

    Fiddling would be like too many shakes at the urinal. Or snowbank.

  5. Nothing wrong with being a scarf guy. Just make sure it’s a really manly scarf. Stay away from fringe and patterns if you can. That’s the key.

  6. Don’t buy a pink scarf. I only say this because I don’t like pink.

    I thought I’d give you my 2 cents.

  7. I have to admit this, because well, I can’t hold it in. They say being a girl, you can’t do manly stuff like write your name with pee in the snow. Well, I tried it a few years ago. Success! (My real name, can be shortend to three letters.)

    And I kind of have a secret crush on Jude Law. (I tell my husband as much each time I see a love filled movie about love that he stars in!)

  8. don’t get a fem scarf with fringe. SAY NO TO FRINGE. Otherwise, be a man that wears scarves and talks on his iPhone and is thus Cooler Than You.

    I know you have it in you.

  9. I think scarves are for pussies. Just saying.

  10. I say scarf. Maybe a nice plaid or herringbone. Make sure it’s long enough but not too long and for God Sakes NO Terrorist Scarves.

  11. I love scarves. Totally rocking it today.

  12. there is no better hair cut than the he-man page boy.

  13. I made the leap (prance?) into being scarf guy last year. It was difficult and I had to have people help me through it – but I still put out fires by flexing and save boxes of kittens in my free time – so I haven’t lost any of my manhood.

  14. Wait, you can write your name in the snow with something other than pee?

  15. i think you should go for it. perhaps you can model a few scarf options for us and your loyal readers can vote!

  16. I think I’m in the Pro Scarf side, too. They’re manly enough, so long as they aren’t tied into anything more than the simple loopy thing above.

    Oh, and if you sport one of these, I’ll have to hunt you down and kill you for your own good:

  17. The kind with the fringe are totally in right now. I think that’s just the kind of manly touch that will put you over the top.

  18. In France, I saw men running through the park in their running clothes and shoes AND SCARFS. Other times too, but the running really stood out.

  19. nancypearlwannabe

    I’m sorry. There IS no better haircut than He-Man’s.

    Being the Scarf Guy is okay. It’s when you turn into the Ascot Guy that you’re in trouble.

  20. Dude, you need a cape, not a scarf. Only the baddest dudes have capes.

    You could rock a cape and tights.

  21. inreallife – Who knew He-man liked the knob slob so much?

    marie – So hot he could melt the sun!

    mental – You have to back me up when people make fun of me.

    ben – And how would you know about fiddling too much?

    stealth – Noted.

    marie – No worries, I don’t like pink either.

    duhn – Really? That is pretty cool, you should be proud of that.

    allthewine – You believe in me!

    theex – Right, and I think so too.

    kiala – Long enough, what’s long enough?? And I’m white, no one will ever think I’m a terrorist.

    jack – You are a more secure man than me.

    gina – I knew you’d find that sexy.

    narm – Sweet, then there is hope.

    dutchess – Poop?

    justin – If I did, I would hope you would.

    noelle – I know, I really don’t get that. I need to talk to someone about that.

    megan – What the fuck? French people suck. I am completely okay with that generalization.

    nancypearl – Yeah, the ascot is no good for anyone.

    stoogepie – Yes! Good idea.

  22. tia

    i vote no on scarves for dudes.

    and seriously? he-man’s outfit? i’m sure he was cold in the winter.

  23. Man up. If you want to wear a scarf, wear one. And, on most guys, a nice scarf looks like “hey, that guy cares about what he looks like. He’s pretty put together and dare I say fashionable?”

  24. Chris, I think you have it all wrong.

    Forget being a Scarf guy,

    Become a Sword guy instead.

    That’s what He-Man did . . .

  25. Matt

    Thank you for the SP joke. That made me happy.

  26. I have been pondering all summer whether this winter I can become a vest guy.

    Can’t be any worse than Man-at-Arms’ outfit. What the hell was that thing?

  27. As long as it isn’t one of those black-and-white faux-boho numbers, I’m all over it.

  28. the scarf could come in handy at work, during those last hours when you are debating suicide again

  29. I vote no on the scarfs. Just sayin’. Jude Law isn’t somebody you want to be associated with.

  30. Then again, He-Man probably gets pretty chilly in those briefs and whatever that thing is across his chest. I’m guessing he still gets laid, though. Maybe not as much as Jude, but then Jude doesn’t have a tiger that he can mount and ride into battle.

  31. You’ve got it all wrong – scarf guys hate Yanni! Where’d you get that idea?

  32. I am jealous about boys’ ability to write their names in the snow.

    Will you write mine? In cursive?

    Thank you, Chris! 🙂

  33. Man scarves are a weapon to be used carefully. I saw Vin Deisel try it once and he totally looked like Jude Law.

  34. deutlich

    You see yourself as a doll that runs around in speedos?

    Really??

  35. longredcape

    I am cool with pretty much any fashion decision men make . . . everything except the popped collar. I apologize to any of you who do that, but the popped collar is a total deal-breaker for me.

    I have actually seen a guy who wore two polo shirts, both brightly colored, both collars popped. Good lord. Hell to the no. Just, no.

  36. hm. why would you let a scarf label you? i mean, if it’s frickin’ cold, it’s cold. cover up! now if it was a skirt or as a man would call it, a kilt, then i’d laugh at your silly ass and would call you a metro.

    *A

  37. I am inclined to mention the new McDonalds commercials/radio spots regarding their new line of mochas and lattes. There is one commercial in particular that I enjoy. There are 2 guys sitting at your typical Starbucks-like coffee shop (thought clearly not at a Starbucks) – they are both wearing a ceratin type of glasses, drinking their lattes, reading the newspapers, talking about sophisticated subject matter. I believe one of these guys is in fact wearing a scarf. Then, one mentions, in passing, as if he doesn’t care at all, that McDonalds now serves lattes. They both proceed to get excited about the fact that they can get their lattes at McDonalds. Why do they get excited? Because they can watch football again, they can stop wearing their glasses (well, one actually needs the glasses)…they can be men again. My point? I don’t think you have to become a Scarf Guy to wear an occasional scarf. Just like you don’t have to give up football to drink a latte.

  38. Being the Scarf Guy is hot hot, much like a peek-a-boo game (like “I wonder what’s beneath that scarf.. *sudden breeze blows scarf away*.. ohmegosh! Why, it’s a manly neck!!” queue sexy manly scent…. aaaand drool.) So, you see, it can certainly work in your advantage… besides, He-Man totally doesn’t leave anything to the imagination…

  39. scarf guys are hot. well unless it’s a skinny scarf. don’t wear a skinny scarf.

  40. I think you can pull it off– go for it.

  41. I don’t think you should become a scarf guy. I’ve seen Jude Law in person, he’s way too skinny.

  42. Marcos

    Yeah, I’m not going to attempt the cardigan/v-neck look either. It just feels to feminine to me even though some people can pull it off.

  43. If you decide to take the plunge, H&M has many options in its men’s scarf selection.

  44. Jo

    Watch what you say about Mr Law. Last time I posted something mildly negative about him (ok it was a picture of him with a fake bald head) I got lynched by the Jude Law squad on IMDB who track every new internet post ever made about him.

    Just check your locks before bed, that’s all.

  45. Yanni? Nice. “Listening to Yanni and beating each other with leather clubs..” per Vince Vaughn on the Breakup.
    I’m with the masses…Jude Law’s hot. Maybe you could just wear a dickie to keep your neck warm.

  46. Recently one of my friends started an obsession with the actor Nicholas Cage (mostly because their names are both Nicholas – sounds strange but he is strange and that isn’t the point). After asking around the rest of my friends he seems to be a very controversial figure.
    What does the forum think? do you love the all action superhero? Or do you hate the droning voice of the man who does nothing but action shooters?

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