Man I hate Bono.
Yeah I said it, I can’t stand him. You can also throw in The Edge and all the other guys in U2 that no one gives a shit about.
Of course I have good reasons why, I’m not some idiot who rants about stuff on a blog without completely thinking it through. Okay, well maybe I am. But either way, I hate him.
I’ve had enough of him and his music because there was a time when Bono and U2 used to rock out and rebel against The System, but not anymore. What about those streets without names Bono??? On my way to work I passed an unmarked street and I felt lost! Lost!
Now U2 is just a bunch of whiny crap, with Bono leading the way.
It’s a Beautiful Day. No it’s not Bono, it’s really not.
From my intensive research, which involved thinking for two minutes straight, I’ve discovered that only about 3% of days are actually beautiful. The day that you first discovered tequila? Beautiful. That day you rolled the perfect joint and everyone at the party (including the hot girl who never talked to you before and didn’t afterward) told you how awesome it was? Beautiful.
But most of the time days can be more accurately described as “Eh, it’s alright” or “At least I didn’t die.”
I also can’t stand Bono because of the sunglasses. As The Great Larry David says, “Only two types of people wear sunglasses inside – blind people and assholes.”
I know, I know, he says that his eyes are sensitive or something like that.
Look Bono, my eyes are sensitive to the light okay??? When I drink 43 Coors Lights and yell at people with ugly pants, the next morning my eyes are sensitive, too, dammit. But you don’t see me wearing pink sunglasses do you? No! Because I’m not a fucking idiot.
I honestly don’t know what to do about Bono. I suppose just leaving him alone and letting him be himself is punishment enough.
Plus, I totally killed him on this blog, so I’m sure he’ll hear about it from the paparazzi and then he’ll cry and cry and then maybe write a song about how sad he is and how my site is awesome.
At least that song would be good.