the demons i face

Recently I was busy at work doing Work Things like thinking about whether Eva Mendes would care if I drank too much on our first date, when I discovered that one of my favorite bloggers shares a problem with me: We both have an unhealthy relationship with iTunes.

I spend entirely too much time and money on that stupid site.

I realize that I could download songs elsewhere for free but 1) I got tired of every song I got from the free sites always having someone yelling something like “DJ QUICKSILVER-QUICKSILVER-QUICKSILVER!” throughout the song and 2) I think I can manage spending a dollar on a song I like when I already spend upwards of $60 on alcohol that sometimes makes me puke.

How do I know I have an iTunes problem?

It’s simple.

I log on to the site with good intentions in mind – perhaps there’s a new Kidz in the Hall song that I want. Then somehow, every single time, I end up going off the deep end and downloading songs like this:

In case you’re too lazy to click that link or maybe you have a boss that somehow is opposed to you jamming out instead of filing those TPS reports, that is a song called “Baby Come Back” by Player.


By a band called “Player.”

They look like this:

Better hair than you.

Better hair than you.

I don’t know what comes over me.

Maybe it’s a sense of wanting to broaden my musical horizons or maybe it’s a deep desire to somehow be able to wear tight leather pants and these are the songs that will enable me to do it, but I definitely have a problem.

Why just two weeks ago I downloaded “Love Song” by Tesla.


I need help.

I need an intervention before I drain my entire bank account purchasing songs that I semi-like for some yet to be identified reason.

But at least I admitted I have a problem, they say that’s the first step in the long journey of recovery.

It will be rough, but with some time and some care, maybe – just maybe – I can defeat my iTunes dependency.

I’m keeping the leather pants though.


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51 responses to “the demons i face

  1. “D.J. Quicksilver” is one of my favorite getting-ready songs. I listen to it like the Rocky anthem.

    As far as download regret, I experience that everytime I have people over and I leave my MediaPlayer on “random”… no one needs to know my secret fondness for a good KISS power ballad.

    Oh cripes, I just admitted that on the Interworld, didn’t I?

  2. longredcape

    Like Aine Caitriona and yourself, I have some pretty embarrassing shit on my iPod (but you knew this already). I make playlists specifically for when I have visitors so I don’t have to deal with the humiliation when “Dancing Queen” comes on because I’ve put iTunes on shuffle.

  3. I handle my iTunes addiction by listening to Pandora Radio ( Haven’t touched the iTunes store in months!

  4. You could always move over to Emusic… problem solved. Sort of.

  5. Sometimes your tags are as amusing as your posts. today i just shook my head ruefully as i recognised myself in your words.

    Playlists are the way to go

  6. I think that might be my dad in the middle.

  7. Ben

    But each Purchase click feels soooooo good and smoooth…

    DJ CLUE.







  8. Matt

    At least you’re not downloading Asia and Journey songs…

    are you…?

  9. thank you. Now ‘baby come back’ is going to be the song stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

    Perhaps in the future they will have Itunes Anonymous. They have everything else. You can embrace your addiction then. Blame it on something else, like, the song made you do it. It’s a disease and you can’t help yourself, only taking a pill and giving yourself up to God will cure you.

  10. I think you are good to go until you start downloading Indigo Girls, but only because you are a boy and I actually like the Indigo Girls, but I’m hetero so I guess that make it as equally bad.

  11. Don’t feel bad. I have an unhealthy relationship with Flaming Lips songs. I can’t stop. That and no matter how hard I try to fight it, I really LIKE Prince. I know. I know.

  12. When I go to my gmail and type “itunes receipts” over 400 pop up – and some of those include more than one CD.

    I’m with you. It seems so easy and clicking “download” doesn’t really feel like spending money because you aren’t swiping a credit card or handing over cash.

    (And I know, I know, you couldn’t resist the new Pussycat Dolls CD, it’s okay, your secret is safe with me.)

  13. Swiffer has ruined that song for me 😦

  14. This post does NOT help with my Swiffer commercial addiction.

  15. Um, I downloaded some old New kids songs. And even Michael Bolton. Yes, I know I need help but who can resist that sexy hair?

  16. If downloading a song by “Player” is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  17. Player. I always thought that song was Hall and Oates. I’m clearly not spending enough time on ITunes.

  18. this is why i do not have an iPod or go onto iTunes. because i’d go on trying to get stuff i like, but i just know i’d end up with Proclaimer B-sides and songs by Pre-Cetera sung Chicago. And i’ve already documented my New Kids on the Block problem.

  19. I listen to some weird embarrassing shit when I’m working out just to keep myself from thinking about how boring and annoying exercise is…for that, I am eternally grateful to iTunes.

  20. Maybe I should be making You CDs now.

    I owe you at least one.

  21. I have yet to purchase a single song on iTunes because I hate those long-haired musicians and want to put them out of business.

    Or because I’m actually too lazy to listen to new music.

    I’m not sure which of those makes me sound crazier.

  22. How many songs are you up to on your iPod now?

  23. I can play MAYBE five songs on guitar and the intro to Tesla’s “Love Song” is one of them. Total guilty pleasure.

    BTW – the mullet / mustache / chest hair combo in that picture is blowing my mind.

  24. aine – Sadly, yes.

    longred – But Dancing Queen is a classic! Forget your friends if they can’t understand that.

    marie – I can’t use Pandora because I like skipping songs and it only lets you skip a couple per hour. Fuck you Pandora! I can skip if I want to!

    foxy – Will check that out.

    lizsara – I like having all my music in one place though!

    justin – I thought I recognized him.

    ben – NEW SHIT! DJ CLUE! 2008!

    matt – Not yet…

    duhn – I like those suggestions.

    dutchess – Hahaha – awesome.

    heather – Oh man. Prince and I do not get along.

    crystall – They’re just so damn catchy!

    maxie – That commercial is pretty good though, right?

    douche – Get the song!

    allison – That doesn’t make it right.

    gina – See, you are awesome.

    megan – No, you are spending the right amount of time on it. It’s not something you should know.

    jay – Hangin Tough Jay.

    kiala – I totally agree with you on that.

    kristen – Do it!

    pistols – I think the second part.

    arjewtino – Like 3,000. I bet I only listen to 857 of them though.

    narm – That is awesome!

  25. I download for free but almost never get those DJ’s screaming in the back. My roommate is a pro at getting songs and albums for FREE-99.
    I totally forgot about “Love Song” – I’m going to download that too!

  26. I can top that. My roommate and I actually shelled out the money to buy the full version of the Alvin and the Chipmunks version of “Bad Day.”

    I shit you not.

  27. I am a total drunk black out itunes downloader. Every time I’m cocked off my rocker I download the most insane stuff. For example, Hilary Duff and Ashley Tisdale are now making the rounds on my iPod video.

  28. As long as I don’t have iTunes on my work computer, and can only download when I’m at home and distracted by other things, I’m safe.

  29. rs27awesome

    Yeah free downloads are the way to go. I haven’t paid for a download since yesterday. Sometimes you have to buy some Pat Benatar.

  30. Tesla!

    I remember them.

    I stand by every single song in my iTunes library. I don’t know how some of them got there, but I stand by them! 🙂

  31. dm cq

    Dude, that’s the song from the “Swiffer” (i think) commercials. My girl and our friend both had that song stuck in their heads. My buddy even knew more of the words than were in the commercial. BTW, feathered hair looks gay without a mustache!

  32. OMG! You’re a skipper! That didn’t come out right.

  33. You should try downloading songs from Amazon. They have basically all the songs you’d want, but for at least 10 cents cheaper. It’s what I use.

  34. Dude, have you heard of bit torrents? I am about to save you a lot of money, mister.

  35. At least you’re not the crazy who can’t stop buying CD’s. I mean, seriously, who still buys CD’s? Oh yeah, that’s right, I do and I can’t. stop.

  36. alleged – You’ll love every second of it.

    stealth – Holy shit. You are crazy.

    yourgf – Hahaha – that is fucking great.

    noelle – You could download it right now. Do it!

    rs – Hit me with your best shot.

    jen – That’s what’s important.

    dm – Yup it is. I can see you guys singing it.

    marie – I am secure in my skipperness.

    angela – But do you think I’ll get hooked on that too though?

    mindy – That sounds complicated.

    megkathleen – Yes, that is bad.

  37. I think the first step is admitting you have a problem. The second…? Um..well you could always buy me music. It’s helping your addiction and I’d be reaping the benefits.

  38. You need to add Golden Earring to your playlist if you haven’t already.

  39. fun fact. my best friend used to date naledge from kidz in the hall. holla.

    and i’m a sucker for any of the free downloads on itunes. i can’t help it.

  40. :O

    FINALLY someone gets that not everyone can view videos at work!

    I visit some great sites and then all of a sudden they start posting videos because they think it’s the new thing and makes them all techie or what-not and I’m halfway down a post and then I have no idea what they’re talking about anymore…and I stop visiting them.

    …because I only read blogs from work….

  41. tia

    i used to have leather pants.

    they were hot.

  42. iTunes problem? I wonder if I have that too? Let’s see… Open iTunes, click playlist named “purchased”, look at bottom of screen…

    665 items?!

    Oh sweet Jesus…

  43. Everytime I purchase something from itunes I comfort myself with “this is the last time” a week later “no seriously this is the last time”.

    I just bought the last 3 doors down album a few days ago, and that was the last time…..

  44. sid

    so you have a little addiction … everyone needs a hobby … mine is snorting cocaine, which is so 80s

  45. ugh i am the same way. i think it’s the ease of purchase that makes itunes so dangerous. i just click “buy” and -whoosh- the songs are on my computer.

    and then my credit card statement arrives and i realize i’ve spent $40 downloading songs like “Mmmbop” for a 90s party.

  46. Bit torrents are a little complicated the first few times you use them, but you’ll save millions! MILLIONS!!! Totally worth it. Then again, I’m cheap as hell when it comes to music.

  47. With all due respect, Tesla’s “Love Song” will never go out of style. The guitar at the beginning is just… incredible.

  48. Hmmm… Are you trying to get your “baby to come back?” That song is on the swiffer commercial. Yes, I know someone already said that but I wanted you to know that I also knew that.

  49. i’m famous!! i’m famous!!

  50. Kate

    Hey! That’s a great song!
    When you start downloading The Marshall Tucker Band, THEN you can start worrying.
    BTW, my iTunes purchased list = 992. Yes, 992. And you think YOU have an unhealthy relationship with it????

  51. I was once going hard on that iTunes crack. Not so much now. Someone (maybe deutlich?) said something about the quality of the songs there being lower than those on a cd and, because all bloggers are geniuses, I believed her and devoted myself to purchasing an insane amount of vinyl and CDs.
    And no I don’t have a record player. Someone’s gonna want “I’m Bad” on vinyl someday!

    If you like Kids, check out Proton.

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