among us

I don’t know if you realize this or not, but there are men out there at this very moment with their shirts tucked into their underwear.

You might have just talked to one, unaware that your entire conversation about how good the coffee is this morning is completely tainted because his polo was jammed into his Hanes Comfortsofts.

I was alerted to this phenomenon this morning when I was getting ready to leave the gym.  I looked up from tying my shoes and there was a guy stuffing his shirt into his underwear.

I was pretty shocked.

I wonder what exactly this person’s life entails that it made him decide that an extra layer of security was absolutely necessary to keep his shirt in line.

What does he do, walk around constantly flinging his arms in the air about everything?  He orders a donut, steps down to pay, and look out!  The arms are reaching for the sky!

Maybe this person just gives an inordinate amount of high fives. Not the lame elbow-bent ones, the official State Issued High Five, and he knows that if he’s not tucking, then his Fives will just be met with stares and questions. “C’mon Jim.  Your shirt is untucked.  You can’t expect me to return a High Five with you in that condition, can you?”

Is he in the rodeo?  Because I could see the need to tuck the shirt for one to be an effective bull rider.  Ever see one of those guys fly off a bull with his shirt untucked?  Nope.  You really can’t be taken seriously when you’re riding a wild animal if your shirt tail is waving around for the entire arena to see.

Whatever the reason, there are men doing this and they are out there walking the same streets as you and I and eating at the same restaurants.

In fact, I bet some of you reading this right now have your button down shoved deep into your Armani Bikini Cuts, and you probably think no one knows.

But I see you Underwear Boy, there’s no fooling me.

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48 Comments

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48 responses to “among us

  1. Ben

    Oh.My.God.

    I thought it was just the newf…I’m shocked and appaled that I have been telling him that he is ridiculous and that no one needs such shirt stability yet there are other freakshows out there.

    STOP FLAILING PEOPLE. There is no need.

  2. haha, oh man. i don’t even want to think of my co-workers doing this. do you think chicks do it too? or strictly a male thing?

  3. deutlich

    I’ve tucked shirts into my undies before…

    back when I was 5, that is.

  4. I had no idea this was going on! I now am going to look at every guy I know and wonder does he or doesn’t he? My whole day is now blown!

  5. Why do you think women wear thongs? Easy shirt access, no back of the underwear getting in the way. We aren’t picking at wedgies, we are pulling our shirt down.

  6. But if it is the high-five thing – can you REALLY blame the guy? I think we are all a little jealous of high-five guy.

  7. I’m suddenly glad I’m a girl and I don’t have to worry about things like shirt stability. If I show a little midriff its sexy…or slutty…or something. Either way, I’m not exposing belly hair, so I guess I win.

  8. my only hope for these grown men is that they are our father’s age and their wives just stopped caring/trying.

    however, if they are in their 20s – guess you know why they are still single. no girl likes skid marked undershirts…

  9. There are also those people out there who tuck their jeans into their socks.

    I thought they deserved a mention too.

  10. Oh wait. I tuck my jeans into my knee socks but that is for FASHION REASONS.

    It’s not the same thing, is it Crissy?

  11. it’s tucked into my socks!

    sorry – cosby show reference.

    but really, people do this? i had NO idea.

  12. Matt

    These kind of things make me mad.

  13. I hate having to tuck my shirt in at all.

    I might have to go the rest of the day around the office topless, with my furry man-gut hanging out in all it’s glory to counteract the undie-tuckers.

  14. Jay Grochalski

    I knew a guy who tucked his underwear into his pants. he used to come into the library on sundays. he worked the graveyeard shift and had bloodshot eyes and always complained about how easily everyone else had it. the whole time he was busting a sag, and you could see his shirt clearly tucked into his underwear. i miss him…along with the homeless guy who used to masturbate onto fake trees while watching high school girls shelve books.

  15. Sometimes it just feels so good to be nice and snug.

  16. rhodeygirltests

    I bet he has some mommy issues.. and still had to tuck his shirt into his undies like his mommy did when he was a little guy.

    creep.

  17. I love a man who goes that extra mile in making sure that no matter what happens, he will always look presentable.

    No, wait. That’s a lie. Underwear tuckers are weird.

  18. Tucking is such a terrible habit. There should be support groups.

  19. Just think of how much more dramatic it is when Jim gets lucky. If he’s got the shirt tucked into his undies, there’s more foreplay involved in gettin busy!

  20. All it’ll take for him to stop doing this is ONE TIME of getting poop on the back of his shirt – ifyouknowwhatimean.

    Ew. I grossed myself out.

  21. I agree with Stacy. I can see a trait like this getting me hot.

  22. ben – Time to break up.

    brookem – I have no idea – maybe… I just hope not.

    duetlich – Right. Underoos are made for that.

    lissa – You’ll never know either!

    inreallife – Thongs…. ahhhh… Sorry.

    narm – No, if it’s because he is giving High Fives, then I am not going to knock him.

    stealth – Aren’t sexy and slutty the same thing? I try to tackle both of those in every outfit I wear.

    ang – Gross. It was an old guy though, but be wary of the next guy that takes his shirt off in front of you.

    kristen – You should email Kiala, apparently.

    kiala – I can’t envision this, I need a picture or something.

    erin – Would you think less of me if I told you I was never a big Cosby Show fan?

    matt – Time to start busting some skulls! Maybe that’s a little far, but it sounds bad ass right?

    justin – It is your duty!

    jay – I think I know those guys.

    noelle – You’re a tucker???

    rhodey – Hahaha – I’m thinking yes.

    arielle – Yes, I’m glad you changed your mind there.

    dutchess – I bet there are.

    stacy – Really? But everyone hates foreplay, right?

    mindy – Me too.

    aine – You are lusting after the tuckers!

  23. Wow! You are totally dead serious about this. I never even knew that people did that! I wonder what they do when their shirt isn’t extra long to really get tucked into their undies.

    This is a really important observation.

  24. pj

    You have to tuck undershirts into underwear, that way when you blouse it doesn’t come out. This way it is locked and loaded!

  25. i tuck my shirts into my undies sometimes. they tend to be much tighter than my pants and keep the shirts in place better/longer.
    i support any man who does the same.

  26. If you wear you’re Armani bikinis, I will call you Underwear Boy!

  27. What’s wrong with that? I mean, it’s not like the ends of the shirt were then coming out of the underwear leg holes. …Wait..were they?

  28. Thanks for the image. I really needed that, ESPECIALLY with the people I work with. Ick.

  29. Maybe he needs a buffer between the elastic waste band and his sensitive skin.

    Or he doesn’t have a girlfriend or wife to nag him about how he’s dressing all wrong.

  30. I’m pretty sure rodeo dudes pants are so tight that not only do their shirts stay neatly tucked, but the oxygen to their brains happen to be cut off as well-which explains the whole riding an angry bull thing.

  31. ……wtf seriously?

    I’ve never heard of this and I do, in fact, feel tainted.

  32. alleged – I’m always serious.

    pj – I can be locked and loaded without doing that. And please don’t ever say “blouse” again.

    jenny – I don’t believe it.

    jen – I don’t, but you can still call me Underwear Boy if you want.

    zibbs – Yup!

    marie – Sorry.

    hollywood – I bet it’s a little of both.

    heather – That’s a good point.

    nico – You should!

  33. hmmmm. Why not just go up and ask a Tucker why he does that. I would, if I saw one.

    “Excuse me, but I noticed that your shirt is tucked all up in your underpants there, is there a specific reason for it or…”

  34. If you dont’ wear underwear this isn’t even an option.

    Just sayin’

  35. Matt

    I’ll bring the bats.

    you bring the chains.

  36. My jaw dropped when I read the first sentence. This is a completely and utterly disturbing concept to me. In fact, I’m going to leave this blog and pretend I never read this.

  37. I am with megkathleen…seriously, this never, ever happened.

    I am just imagining some guy taking his pants off when we are about to do some special time and seeing his pants in his ‘roos…NOT RIGHT.

  38. E.V

    Once again, I sit in my lab area trying desperately not to LOL. I’m supposed to be working dangit!!!

  39. Guys do this?

    That kind of scares me!

  40. You never fail to make me laugh. How do you do this every day? I hate you and yet at the same time I’m in awe. I’m so conflicted.

  41. oh noooooooooooooooo!!!! you can see meeeee!!!!! get away from meeeee!!! 🙂
    lol

  42. 1. Underwear Boy!

    2. That you’re in my comment was supposed to be your and that bugs me.

    3. I LOVE that Hillbilly Duhn called him Tucker! It’s funny because it’s so fitting…

    Unlike his underwear! Bwahahaha!!!

    OK, I’ll go now.

  43. tia

    haha, underwear.

    yeah. i got nothin.

  44. teality

    Oh my gosh… thank you for writing this. Seriously. AHHHH! 🙂

  45. hello…it’s called draft protection, people. and plummer’s cleavage insurance. personally, I think full footie pajamas are safer.

  46. I’ve known a man who does this.
    Known him my entire life. My father, he needs serious shirt stability for a plethora of reasons… it’s just that I have yet to figure them out.

    But in all seriousness I have contemplated the idea, (Gasp! I’m a 23 year old woman!) while on the job. I work in a reataurant that requires long sleeve button up shirts. Wouldn’t be a problem (like it isn’t for most of my co-workers) except that I am 5 foot short and everything is just out of arms reach for me. So my shirt comes untucked (and out of uniform to mr. boss man)a lot.

    Key word is contemplated, no action has been taken towards this ungodly act. (that you all know of!)

    Luckily I am stubborn and refuse to become my father!

  47. Mal

    When I was a lad in the 1950’s all guys tucked their shirts inside their underpants, as they did not have elastic waistbands, and needed to be kept up by braces (suspenders in US). This method certainly keeps the shirt tucked in neat and tidy, and it is warmer in winter, even if less common today. My braces may have become redundant, but this method of dressing still has the advantage of making easier adjustments down below for us guys, and my two teenage boys have followed suit.

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