fishing – the sport of drowning a worm

Chris is still fucking gone.  If I know him, he is probably somewhere drinking 34 Coors lights and watching something like this on TV.

If you have ever visited my blog, you know I am from Denver.  I am single and I like long walks on the beach. Except if that beach is anywhere in Jersey.

Anyway. Chris like’s to rant a whole lot on here about shit he thinks is stupid…so since this is the perfect forum, I am going to tell you why Fishing is more stupid than McCain’s economic plan.

Fishing requires no skill. Tying a little string in a knot and hucking it out into water is hardly challenging.

I can see if people were doing it caveman style by throwing spears into the water and hitting the fish, like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away” but people are not doing that. They are sitting in a boat with an electronic fish finder, waiting for some stupid fish to bite their lure.

Therefore, I don’t consider fishing a sport. A sport is something that requires some sort of fucking skill. All you have to do to fish is wake up early (another reason why fishing is lame).

Then there’s people who say they fish- but they don’t do it for the sport of it, they do it so they can get drink and hang out. They even throw back the fish they catch. These people are the most stupid. Why would I want to wake up early (because fish are only hungry early in the morning for some reason), pack fishing gear, drive approximately two-to-three hours, just to drink beer?

I can drink beer in my boxers, right on my couch. You can come over and join me. If you want to be a part of nature we can sit outside, on the deck.

People think I’m weird because I live in Colorado and I don’t fish. I tell them to try catching a real animal instead of a stupid fish. Try catching a bear with your pole, or how about a mountain lion. Reel them in and I will be impressed.

Stupid fucks.

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36 Comments

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36 responses to “fishing – the sport of drowning a worm

  1. Ben

    ACTIVATE THE SLOW CLAP!

    Fishing sucks.

  2. Clap………….Clap……..oh MAN!

  3. Holy crap. I hear you on this one. My father would take me fishing in Oregon every year as a kid on my birthday to celebrate- open season. Despite years of watching the bobber floating on the lake I still don’t get it…

    Great post.

  4. deutlich

    Can I just say that I want to visit Colorado SO badly it’s not even funny.

  5. This is why I could never make it through “The Old Man and the Sea” – because the only thing more boring than fishing is a book about fishing.

  6. racheliza

    i so resent that comment about jersey beaches!

  7. arjewtino

    I once went on a 12-hour fishing expedition that started at 4am. I caught a barracuda and then spent 11 hours throwing up over the side of the boat.

    I don’t like fishing.

  8. I once went on a 12-hour fishing expedition that started at 4am. I caught a barracuda and then spent 11 hours throwing up over the side of the boat.

    I don’t like fishing.

  9. Pingback: I’ve been lazy « A View From 5280Ft

  10. AMEN! I hate fishing. My ex husband used to make me go all the damn time. Biggest waste of a day.

  11. Loved this post. I too think fishing is lame and it’s not a sport. Also why the hell anyone would want to wake up early and drive for like 3 hours to fish and get drunk is beyond me.

  12. Red

    I’m right there with Rachel. Jersey ROCKS!

    Right on about fishing sucking, though. As a child, my grandfather would occasionally take my brother and I “fishing” – in a local creek or some such, there was zero chance we were catching a fish. And THEN, I would be told to be quiet so as not to disturb the “fish”. Pretty smart of my grandpa, yes, but it helped to turn me off fishing. Don’t think I ever would have been the type to like it anyway. If I’m on a lake, the last thing I wanna do is fish. I can kayak. I can watch other people paddle me around in a canoe. I can just be.

    Fishing sucks.

  13. I like fishing a lot. I fly fish.

    I also accidentally hit myself in the face with my handbag daily.

  14. k8

    I like fishing if there’s a gorgeous man involved and there’s a possibility of sex on the open water. Other than that? Nope.

  15. Fishing is totally a sport if you catch the fish with your hands.

    Now that takes skill.

  16. Patience is not a skill. Waking up early might be considered a skill, but mostly it’s considered “annoying.” I’m with you on this one.

  17. I want to move to Colorado soooooo bad!

    But not to go fishing. Shoot, I can sit at home and watch paint dry.

  18. I like fishing for clothes. Otherwise known as shopping.

    That other type of fishing sucks.

  19. The only time I’ve been fishing I was about 5. My older sister caught a fish and my dad asked if we wanted to throw it back or keep it.

    My sis said keep it so my dad told her we’d have to clean it and eat it.

    I think my sister thought he meant we’d give it a bath because once he chopped off it’s head, she ran to the bushes and puked her guts out.

    Meanwhile I stood over the fish asking “what’s that??” while pointing at the guts.

    Fond memories indeed.

  20. I’m so with you – Fishing is for LOSERS. Talk about boring.

  21. I like your post title, but I have to let you know that Jersey actually has some of the greatest beaches in the world. The only problem is that you have to drive through Jersey to get to them.

  22. Also, why catch them just to throw them back? “Haha you stupid fucking fish, you now have hook marks in your mouth and are terrified, all to prove that I am the BIGGER AND BETTER species.”

  23. DDG

    hehehe.
    That is my amused mean-sounding laugh that completely agrees with your point.

  24. I caught a bear once, it was awesome…. At first he was all upset because he was beat up by a girl, but after a long talk and a much needed ego boost we went to the pub, had a few beer, some buffalo wings, spicy nachos a few laughs and called it a night.

    Actually I am full of shit.

    Though this one doode I went to school with fought of a mountain lion and ended up saving himself and his girlfriend in 2005, takes some scrolling but he is in there.

    http://www.cougarinfo.org/attacks3.htm

    and by reading it I just found out he threw a freakin cougar…. how effing cool is that.

    Now that should be an olympic event, cougar toss and cougar wrestle.

  25. I agree. Fuck fishing and the rednecks that fish.

  26. You ended your post with “stupid fucks.” For some reason that turns me on.

  27. Way to channel Chris. I agree about fishing – never been. It would be peaceful to lay around all day on a boat, but you don’t need to fish to do that. You just need a boat. Which I don’t have.

    Wait! Is it bad that I contributed to the cause by giving my brother an electronic fishfinder? Please don’t stone me.

  28. Goose

    I don’t get to fish as often as I would like too. It can be boring I’ll grant you that. I do have an exception however: shoreline fishing. Throw a squid on the line and toss it as far out as possible. You fight the waves for the fish. Waves are assholes…

  29. I don’t do nature…never been camping and never will do anything involving nature and the outdoors. Slimy fishes and worms? Hell no! Gunning down Bambi…NOT!!

    But I lurve Jersey! *grin*

  30. verybadcat

    Love this. Will be forcing WH to read it, as he is addicted to fishing. 😉

  31. Man! I like fishing! Well, let me rephrase that. I like feeding the fish cheese cubes and hot dogs, while the men are too busy looking very seriously concerned about why the fish aren’t biting to notice me fattening them up. ^__^

    Don’t take a veggie w/you if you’re intending to kill wildlife. They’re sneaky.

    I want to go to Pikes Peak. Is that near you? I’m geographically challenged.

  32. Fishing is lame. It’s boring. You can sleep while you catch fish. Anything you can sleep doing is not a sport!

  33. I can come over and hang out in your boxers with you?

    I’m there!

    😉

  34. P.S. Yes, fishing sucks.

    But I like K8’s comment.

    If fishing is like that, I’m in for that, too!!

  35. You know, I generally agree with you on the hook and line fishing thing, but if you fish creeks, especially when the brookies run in the winter, the amount of skill it takes an enormous amount of skill. Those little fuckers are smart as hell.

    It’s sort of like playing nine ball. It’s not fun, but you want to master it.

  36. Eh, I don’t think I’ve ever fished but one of my better friends, a totally ADD surfer dude who, though brilliant, can never still still for a minute and is usually as crazy as shit, can fish for hours without moving. He’s been like that since he was 5 years old.

    Not sure why that is.

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