picture day

I’m back!  Somehow, I made it through endless beers, amazing sunsets and naps immediately after eating to return to the civilized world.

I hope you’re in the mood for a good ol’ fashioned Look At Pictures Of My Vacation Because I’m Still Hungover From Consuming Vats Of Tequila Post, because that’s what you’re about to get.

With that said, I present to you, my awesome Mexico vacation – photographed!

Awesome.

Awesome.

This is the main area of the resort where we stayed.  It was unreal.  Like something out of a movie, one with a central plot line that goes like this: People eat.  People drink.  People yell some.  People swim.  People drink more.  People nap.  Repeat for seven days.  Fin.

 

Romantic or something.

Romantic or something.

This is a picture I took from the swinging porch seat on the deck of the main area.  It shows the pool where me and my future brother-in-law and our friend performed amazing feats of athleticism by catching a football in midair before hitting the water.  I’m thinking of sending in the pictures to the NFL, so I’ll let you know what happens.  If I get signed by a team, it was nice knowing you.  I promise to remember the little people.  Maybe.

 

Pathetic.

Pathetic.

I’m pointing at my lame attempt at a beard.  I know – you can’t even see it.  The dudes and I decided to have a Battle Of The Beards, but as you can see, I lost.  I took this picture right before I shaved it off on the last day we were there.  I tried for seven damn days to grow something resembling Jesus’ awesome beard, but ended up falling closer to Ashton Kutcher’s.  Which is punishment enough I think.

 

Nature is dumb.

Nature is dumb.

See that lizard?  Look closer dammit!  I need you to see him because I spent a good amount of time running after these iguanas that roamed around our resort, trying desperately to get a picture of one.  Did you know that lizards run really fast when a large white man with a camera rapidly approaches them yelling, “Hey!  Hey!  Come here, you!” Well you do now.  I finally snapped this one of Larry (a clever name I came up with for him) after six beers and two margaritas sharpened my focus.  Or maybe I just caught him while he was asleep.

 

Unhappy.

Unhappy.

This is a painting that was on the wall of the only bar in Troncones, Mexico that was playing the World Series on TV.  I thought it was kind of odd to have a sad turtle as the first thing people see when visiting your place of business, but maybe that’s the way all turtles are in Mexico.  I hope they don’t put that on any tourist brochures.  “Come to Mexico!  Our animals are frowning for you! Viva!”

 

That’s it for the pictures.  I have a ton more, but I’ve reached my limit for now.

I will leave you with the only Spanish that I remember from the trip – “Bien Borracho!” Which means “good drunk.”  Which I was, and I promise to continue to be.

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81 Comments

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81 responses to “picture day

  1. We can’t all grow beards my friend – its the effort that counts.

  2. pointing at your beard or trying to make us all look at your abs?!?

    hahaha.

    glad you had fun though!

  3. Ben

    You fucker. Now I can blame you AND Pink for that stupid pelvic muscle that we’re all expected to have.

    THANKS FOR NOTHING YOU PIECE OF TRASH!

  4. Aw sad little turtle, and beard.

  5. I would have penciled in a happy face on the turtle. And an evil, upturned eyebrow.

  6. phil

    you’re hilarious but an abs picture? …really?

  7. That turtle kind of makes me want to cry. But glad you had fun otherwise. I’m jealous.

  8. hahaha… you knew the ab comments were coming, right? fucking matthew mcconaughey wanna be! but hey, if you got it, flaunt it. the abs, not so much the beard.

  9. rachel

    I, for one, LOVED the abs pic! It made me think of Matthew McConaughey and how tasty it would be to chase lizards with him in Mexico…I miss your dreads though.

  10. dude, i have that same exact shaving picture, only half my beer is off, so you can see my double chin and gray stubble. plus i think i have a beer resting between my man tits.

  11. shit…i meant to say beard. this is what happens when one is off work on a tuesday, drinking since 8:30 am.

  12. “Oh look how hot I am half naked- nonchalantly of course, pretending it’s some shit about a beard…”

    🙂

  13. your beard is WEAK.

  14. This is the difference b/w boys and girls. You ran towards the lizards, trying to take their picture. I ran away from them, but used my zoom to take a picture.

  15. Matt

    I still dont see the lizard?

  16. welcome back! you were missed!

  17. Sneha

    haha … all lizards are called Larry btw

  18. deutlich

    Oh, please! You are not pointing at your beard – you are gratuitously showing off your muscles.

    Don’t lie.

  19. you’re no better than me with that “oh, look at this picture of me looking adorably lame, but really please just notice how hot i am” shot.

    shameless. i’ve made a blog based on that premise.

  20. You lost a beard-off on vacation? I don’t even know how you can show your face around here.

    Oh, right.

  21. i know you’ve been away for a week… but its not nice to tease us with those abs. we have to sit at our desks all day buddy.

  22. Blah, blah, blah, trip looked fun. Now post your workout regimen immediately so I can nonchalantly leave it on husband’s desk.

  23. Welcome back and thanks for the niiice selection of guest bloggers. Nice abs by the way!

  24. narm – I thought going 7 days would do the trick, but it is never going to happen for me.

    alexa – A little of both?

    ben – I apologize.

    dutchess – Frowns all around.

    zibbs – I think I was too intoxicated to think of anything other than taking the picture.

    phil – I say why not?

    arielle – Thanks. It does bring a tear, doesn’t it?

    jendy – I was preparing myself.

    rachel – The dreads are long gone. Only a tiny memory for me. And their fans apparently.

    jay – 8:30? Wow, you are going to have some things to say by 4PM.

    nicole – Hahaha – Let’s review your blog, and see if there’s any similar pics of you, shall we?

    maxie – Hahaha – well put.

    ss – Sneaky fuckers.

    stealth – Yes, that is a big difference.

    matt – That’s what she said!

    jessica – Thanks!

    justin – A hug?

    sneha – It’s true, I’m not that creative.

    deutlich – Well, here’s the deal – I was about to shave and I wanted a pic of my beard. I thought about putting a shirt on and thought, “Fuck it. I work out like fucking crazy and I don’t fucking feel like putting on a shirt.” So that was that. So yes, I am showing off, but only half. This is a long way of saying that you’re right.

    gina – I learned it by watching you, alright? Remember that commercial?

    arjewtino – I am going to put Rogaine on my face and come back with a vengeance!

    ang – Sorry, maybe I’ll take a pic of my feet next post, because they’re not so nice to look at.

    elle – Hahaha – Blah, blah, blah, trip looked fun That is the best vacation recap comment ever.

    akilah – Thanks! Those bloggers are good dudes.

  25. Welcome back, brother. Sounds like you had a good time.

    PS
    Someone was spinning Voodoo a few too many times in the CD player on the way down to Mexico, ha. (How Does it Feel?)

  26. Man, well you may not be able to grow a beard, but hot DAMN you can grate cheese on your stomach. It evens out.

  27. You just wanted to post a photo with your shirt off! Don’t blame it on the “beard”.

    But really, please convince my boyfriend to take me to Mexico. I’m sure he will have a great time chasing around iguanas and take shirtless photos while I lounge on the beach with a fruity drink in hand.

  28. Welcome back. 🙂 That’s a sad looking beard and one sad turtle. It took me forever to see the lizard. Love the pics and it looks like you had fun!

  29. If it makes you feel any better, I can grow a sizable beard in no time flat, but I’m not allowed to ever be photographed sans shirt ever, according to the most recent Geneva Convention.

    Now that you’re back in the States, however, you’re not a true patriot if you don’t continue to eye Mexico with a great deal of suspicion.

  30. “endless beers, amazing sunsets and naps immediately after eating”

    sounds like torture.

  31. What are you talking about? There’s no lizard. Only green plant. 🙂

  32. I am intimidated by your belly area.

  33. Welcome back to both you and your abs.

  34. beautiful body…i mean… pictures!! glad you had a great time.

  35. You’re the crunch master aren’t you.

  36. Or do men only do sit-ups…no crunches?

  37. nancypearlwannabe

    Dude, are you just trying to make us all jealous? Because we are. Jerk.

  38. I could not read another word after seeing you partially naked.

    I…I have to go rub one out now.

  39. nic

    Nice.

    You know what I’m talking about.

  40. Hooray vacations!

    Here’s some more Spanish: “Soy un pinche borracho.”

    Translation: “I am a fucking drunk.”

  41. brooklyn – Ha – somehow I think D gets a few more ladies than I ever did.

    lemmonex – Well that’s a relief. I knew going to the gym all the time would pay off somehow.

    jamie – I will email him.

    tiff – He’s a clever little lizard, isn’t he?

    pistols – Hahaha – Oh, don’t worry. I am giving the entire country The Stink Eye right now.

    dmb5 – Oh it was!

    marie – See? Nature is dumb.

    kiala – Hahaha – I don’t even know what to say other than I was laughing at my desk reading that.

    noelle – My abs say, “Gurgurle” Which means, “Thanks” in Stomach.

    labella – Thanks! I try my best.

    heather – Both! That was the most manly answer possible, right?

    nancy – I’m sorry. Tomorrow will be back to lame writing, I promise.

    kristen – I am honored.

    nic – Larry?

    big time – Hahaha – thanks. That will come in handy.

  42. Aw, I see the scruff, I do. And you’re ripped. Damn, lol. Never would’ve guessed…

    Ha, glad you had fun! Looks like a beautiful spot. You didn’t drink the water, right?

  43. I’m with the boys…was that completely necessary? I mean, comeon, goodbeard, what am I supposed to do with that? Wash clothes on it or something?

  44. oh, Mexico …my favorite place.

  45. longredcape

    My beard is way better than that.

  46. Dana R.

    So. Apparently I’m the ONLY ONE of your readers that actually KNOWS Spanish.

    Just wanted to clarify “bien borracho” actually means “very very drunk.” So, if a native Spanish speaker called you that, then they were mega amused. If it was an English speaker, pretending to speak Spanish, then… They don’t know what they were saying.

  47. 1) Love, love, love Mexico.

    B) I see Senor Leezard!

    iii) Nice Abercrombie and Fitching, there.

  48. So where is Troncones exactly? I’m heading to a small village an hour outside Cancun at the beginning of December. I can’t wait.

    And…uhh…”bien borracho” actually means “very drunk.” But hey, you were close enough. 😉

  49. Awesome pictures.
    I wish I had abs….and close encounters with shy reptiles.

  50. Oh no! An ab shot? Isn’t that what 15 year old boyz do on myspace? Dork.

  51. That turtle is like an unhappy Crush from Finding Nemo

  52. Are you sure you didn’t take that picture for myspace?? It looks pretty stereotypical….

  53. There was a BEARD in that pic??? Sorry, my eyes were fixed on the bod!!! That gym going really paying off, huh???

  54. Um… *drool*

    I’m sorry– were there words in this post?!?

    😛

  55. But how did you get that first picture, the one of my backyard?
    I would put a picture of a turtle in my business if I had one.
    Today your blog is all plants and animals. Yay!

  56. I have no words for what i witnessed.

  57. Wow. Maybe I’ll take a picture of myself pointing at my neck with no shirt on, but maybe a bra WITH MY NEW CAMERA.

  58. amind – Nope! No Montezuma Revenge for me!

    greta – Yes?

    maegan – I can’t wait to go back.

    longred – I know! Stop rubbing it in, okay???

    dana – Oh shit! Oh well, yes, it was a spanish woman, so she must have thought I was ridiculous.

    lacochran – You covered it all well.

    almost – Uh, it’s near Ixtapa – on the Pacific side. That’s all I know.

    kindredly – Go to Casa Viva!

    lolo – You love it!

    tough – Never saw it, but I’ll take your word for it.

    angela – You’re right, that’s not even me. I stole it from someone on myspace.

    paula – So far so good.

    jen – Nope.

    megan – Hahaha – I snuck in yesterday. I gave your dogs a treat too, hope that’s okay.

    rs – I think it’s best that way.

    melissa – I think that is an excellent idea.

  59. E.V

    for a second there I thought I’d wandered off to myspace where classic half nakey bathroom mirror self portraits abounded…but then I saw the caption and it explained everything.

    Nice…”beard” 😉

  60. Oh good, you’re back!

    I imagined that those pictures were shown to me by an old school slide projector. That’s the way vacation pictures were meant to be revealed!

  61. I’m so totally jealous. It actually snowed here today.

    :Sigh:

  62. Looks like such fun, I can’t wait to go on holiday to Mexico, i always hear such good things.

  63. Hahahaha… Well, I’ll clear up some things…

    The “sad” turtle is a symbol of the turtle hunting there’s in Mexico… And in the rest of the Caribbean. They are slowly disappearing, and that makes them (and me) sad.

    And “Bien borracho” or “Bien a verga” is “VERY drunk” or “VERY wasted”.

    I’m glad you had a great time!

  64. gabs

    welcome back and actually “Bien Borracho” means
    “Very Drunk”. great pics.

  65. somebody’s been working out…and is now fishing for compliments.

    seriously so jealous of your vacay.

  66. Dude, if you wanted us to look at your beard you would’ve posted a close up of your face. Nice try. And nice abs too.

  67. Welcome back. First off, the second picture is very romantic (hands where I can see them) and holy shit you’ve got wash board abs. Very nice 🙂

  68. tia

    i think it’s awesome that you can take a little time away from flirting with john-chris at the gym to work on your rockin’ bod.

    woohoo!

  69. Good way to compensate for your lack of beard growing ability is to show off your man abs. And I mean MAN abs.

  70. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for a couple of weeks now, and Man Week was fuckin’ awesome.

    As funny as they were, I gotta say I missed you the most and I never visited their blogs.

    Lovely pictures esp the one of the reflection of the sunlight in which u said something about the NFL. The lizard is dope too, amazing what they can do [camouflage half their bodies].

    Take care!

  71. I spotted the lizard right away. My observation is so keen that way. Welcome back! Enjoyed the man posts while you were gone but glad to have you back.

    And Ben is right…you look like Pink.

  72. I enjoyed the mental image of you chasing lizards – almost as much as I enjoyed the topless photo. Thanks! and welcome back. You were missed, but your guest manbloggers did a great job.

  73. Gia

    ooohhh ab’s…

    so whats the rest of the post about?

  74. Jo

    Oh thank god you’re back. Enough of that guest post malarky. I think most turtles are unhappy. Bound to be having to lug their houses around on their back all day.

  75. Ha! That is a sad looking turtle. Who knew the animals in Mexico hated tourists?

  76. Red

    Who needs a beard with cut lines like that? Ari’s a lucky girl.

  77. Looks like you had an awesome time! I spent a week in Cabo this spring and your pix made me sad that I’m not still there.

    BTW, me-ow! Had no idea you were a hottie on top of being so funny.

  78. myr

    I’m sure it wasn’t the beard you were trying to show.

    Then again it takes long hours at the gym to get that so why not flaunt it?

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