I’m back! Somehow, I made it through endless beers, amazing sunsets and naps immediately after eating to return to the civilized world.
I hope you’re in the mood for a good ol’ fashioned Look At Pictures Of My Vacation Because I’m Still Hungover From Consuming Vats Of Tequila Post, because that’s what you’re about to get.
With that said, I present to you, my awesome Mexico vacation – photographed!
This is the main area of the resort where we stayed. It was unreal. Like something out of a movie, one with a central plot line that goes like this: People eat. People drink. People yell some. People swim. People drink more. People nap. Repeat for seven days. Fin.
This is a picture I took from the swinging porch seat on the deck of the main area. It shows the pool where me and my future brother-in-law and our friend performed amazing feats of athleticism by catching a football in midair before hitting the water. I’m thinking of sending in the pictures to the NFL, so I’ll let you know what happens. If I get signed by a team, it was nice knowing you. I promise to remember the little people. Maybe.
I’m pointing at my lame attempt at a beard. I know – you can’t even see it. The dudes and I decided to have a Battle Of The Beards, but as you can see, I lost. I took this picture right before I shaved it off on the last day we were there. I tried for seven damn days to grow something resembling Jesus’ awesome beard, but ended up falling closer to Ashton Kutcher’s. Which is punishment enough I think.
See that lizard? Look closer dammit! I need you to see him because I spent a good amount of time running after these iguanas that roamed around our resort, trying desperately to get a picture of one. Did you know that lizards run really fast when a large white man with a camera rapidly approaches them yelling, “Hey! Hey! Come here, you!” Well you do now. I finally snapped this one of Larry (a clever name I came up with for him) after six beers and two margaritas sharpened my focus. Or maybe I just caught him while he was asleep.
This is a painting that was on the wall of the only bar in Troncones, Mexico that was playing the World Series on TV. I thought it was kind of odd to have a sad turtle as the first thing people see when visiting your place of business, but maybe that’s the way all turtles are in Mexico. I hope they don’t put that on any tourist brochures. “Come to Mexico! Our animals are frowning for you! Viva!”
That’s it for the pictures. I have a ton more, but I’ve reached my limit for now.
I will leave you with the only Spanish that I remember from the trip – “Bien Borracho!” Which means “good drunk.” Which I was, and I promise to continue to be.