Sometimes in life, events happen that affect me in such a deep way that I can’t think of anything else.
One such moment was the first time I saw a friend of mine break something just for the sake of breaking it. This is just a rough estimate, but after that happened, I’m going to say I spent about three solid years of my life smashing things just because I could. I also think this was the first time my Mom entertained the idea of having to visit me in jail. I was a special child.
Another moment, one that is about on the level of throwing Tonka trucks out of my bedroom window, and one that is reoccurring, is the dreaded eye twitch.
When my eye twitches, it consumes my every thought.
A friend could be asking me to murder his girlfriend because she stopped buying mac and cheese, and all I can think is, “Stop looking at my eye! Stop it! I know it’s twitching but I can’t help it, okay??? I’m not a freak – I swear!”
All day long, every time my eyelid moves all crazy like, I think about it, and in turn, I start thinking about my life and the decisions I make.
First I think about my diet. Maybe I should eat less carbs? Yes. That sandwich I have planned at lunch? In the trash! That will stop my Eye Sickness.
Then I start thinking that maybe it’s because of a lack of sleep. Tonight I will sleep for 17 hours straight, only waking up once to look in the mirror and examine my defective eye. And also maybe to pee on the toilet seat.
Finally, true panic sets in as I realize nothing can stop the rampant, sporadic twitching of my eye. So I just think and think and think about it.
When it eventually does pass, I feel like I’ve beat something truly catastrophic, and start to relax a little bit. Of course then I freak out because I threw my tuna on wheat in the trash, right next to someones not-so-fresh looking sushi roll.