Dear Head Dude at Roc-A-Fella Records, LLC,
My name is Chris and I am writing to inform you of a special, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Because today is my birthday, on Saturday evening myself and a collection of the finest individuals on the planet performed karaoke at a local establishment. It was during this time that I realized I have Talent Of Epic Proportions. As a label that has produced some of my favorite artists, I wanted to offer you the chance to be the first to witness my genius, and therefore sign me to a multi-year, multi-million dollar recording deal. I feel I possess all the attributes of any Fantastic Artist, and have provided photograpic evidence below.
For your consideration:
As you can see, I am going to be wildly successful. This is your first and last chance Head Dude. Sign me or regret it for the rest of your life. Roc-A-Fella will be forever known as the label that let “that one drunk guy” slip away. I think we can both safely say that no one wants to see that happen.