let it fly at your own risk

There are lots of things that I like to make fun of, which I think is what makes me such a mature individual, but few of them give me as much pleasure as laughing at someone who is puking.

I don’t mean puking because you ate some bad chicken, because that’s not really that funny, but puking because you drank eight sake bombs and then thought four shots of Petron would be the perfect way to follow that up.

So when I stepped out of the karaoke place on Saturday night and saw a girl bent over ralphing (the best synonym for puking there is), I just had to laugh, and of course, take a picture.

You'll feel better about your outfit tomorrow.

Might want to throw those shoes out.

It’s kind of hard to make out, but that girl in the white top is puking her guts out.  Her Man Friend is coming toward me, because he incorrectly kept telling me “That’s not funny man!”

I just kept laughing and insisting it was, because of course it was!  She was puking!  I think my exact words were, “Hahaha!  She’s puking!  Puke!”  And when he kept getting angrier I just shrugged and told him that it was too late because I had it all on film.  I’m a fun drunk.

I don’t know why people get so mad.  Someone throwing up in public is about the funniest thing ever.  I’ve been made fun of for puking by others and I wouldn’t expect anything less.

If you’re puking because of too much alcohol, quite simply, you deserve to be laughed at.  You acted like an idiot and now your body is revolting and telling you that maybe it’s time to reexamine your life.

I can’t help it – if I see a Puker, I am laughing.

So if you’re ever out with me and you feel your stomach rumble and you think you’re going to hurl, better get to the bathroom so I don’t see you.  Otherwise you better believe that I’ll be pointing and laughing, and hopefully taking a picture of you for all the world to see.


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55 responses to “let it fly at your own risk

  1. Is the bathroom like home base in tag? If I’m in there you can’t take pictures. Because I have definitely climbed the walls of a stall to get pictures of Mr. Pukey Pants before.

    I have terrible etiquette.

  2. I’m glad you mentioned the most important thing at the end of your post and that is pointing. One must point while laughing.

  3. “I’m allowed to judge others because I have a blog.” The words of a genius.

  4. Matt

    This was a great post. I am a happier person after reasing it.

  5. agreed. drunk puking is funny…unless you have to be the one to clean it up. yuck.

  6. i like the gray shoes that the helper friend is wearing!

    oh that’s not the point of this post?

    i’ve never been a puker (thankfully) unless you count that one time on a plane. dammit.

  7. Oh I don’t puke, I hold it and will be uncomfortable for hours rather than puke. So you won’t be getting any pics of my ralphing, just of me with a scrunched up, pale, sweating face.

  8. Speaking of puke, I was bent over last night. I caught someone’s freakin’ 24-hour stomach bug! Gross!

    But yes, drunk ralphing deserves laughter. The laughter can mask those nasty ass retching sounds!

  9. Do you have a shot a little down and to the left? The knee highs and plaid mini look like a cute outfit. I feel like I need to see the shoes.

  10. riiiiiiight…
    that’s somewhat disturbing…

  11. Drunk puking is really funny unless you’re the drunk puker.

    That is so.not.funny.

  12. The tags on this one are amazing.

  13. This picture almost caused a brawl, and possibly our ban from Sing Sing. I would not have been pleased. My obsession with “Higher Love” will not satisfy itself.

  14. It is clearly hysterical. And that guy has no sense of humor.

  15. Throwing up is one of my worst fears ever. I’m gonna have to disagree with you on this point, because I can’t stand the sight of it. I’m kind of horrified that it’s allowed to be shown on TV now. Normally, I hate all kinds of FCC rules, but I would be down with them censoring images of puking. I don’t even like typing the word.

  16. You’re right about ralphing.

    And you’re quick with the camera, even when drunk! Is there any limit to your talent?

  17. In college, I used to have friends take pictures of me giving huge thumbs up while standing over people who had passed out on the floor.

    Sure, I could have called for medical attention, but I believe mockery is the best cure.

  18. It’s totally funny and photo-worthy. But that said, no way I’m going to “drive the BUICK over to RALPH’s” in a public toilet. Good lord, just the thought of hugging that toilet would make me hurl again!

  19. Marcos

    Dude, that girl was in bad shape. Her friends said she took 8-10 shots of Jack Daniels. Probably too much for an 85lb little girl. She was barely conscious and her friends were obviously worried about her. Also, I observed others that night spewing racist comments at that crew but I guess that’s just some more NYC humor that’s over my head.

  20. I wonder if you’ve ever taken a picture of me over the past few years. Because I sure as hell know I’ve been *that* girl, haha.

  21. People puking in public are funny. Totally agree. Kinda like on my 21st birthday (eons ago) when I wore a t-shirt that said “If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.” As I was puking my guts out on the curb and people were walking by seeing me, reading my shirt and laughing their asses off … well, it was well deserved.

  22. longredcape

    I don’t think puking is nearly as funny/disgusting as when someone SHITS all over the place when drunk, as someone I know did this weekend.

  23. …It’s not until I get into moving vehicles that I puke, and then – ala 21st birthday – I puke out the window, all over the side of my friend’s car.

    Good times. Um, or not at all. Whichever.

  24. I’ll remember not to puke at the 20sb meetup… cause I’m sure you’d take pictures of it.

  25. narm – Hahaha – nice.

    zibbs – Always.

    ss+1 – I think so, yes.

    matt – I try my best.

    maegan – That’s a good point.

    alexa – I knew some girls were going to comment on that.

    inreallife – I’m the same way, and really, those pictures are often just as good.

    akilah – Exactly!

    megan – Bah!

    urban – In a funny way.

    kristen – Yes, puking is not funny when you’re doing it.

    jamie – Thanks!

    kate – I thought we all handled it quite well. Well, aside from the puking girl.

    dutchess – I agree.

    noelle – Puke.

    mickey – I know, I was pleased with the shot, thought the dude kinda got in the way.

    pistols – Mockery is practiced by some of the best dr’s in the country.

    evil – Yeah, random toilets can be pretty nasty.

    marcos – I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not, so I’ll refrain from being mean and saying what I first thought of and just say: Lighten up dude. Also, what other random people do has nothing to do with me.

    nicole – Not yet…

    nilsa – Awesome t-shirt.

    longred – Oh my god, that is terrible! Hahaha

    amind – I think a little of both.

    maxie – Good idea.

  26. Ewwwwwwwww!!! That’s all I have to say.

  27. Haha! I love that you snapped a photo. She deserved it. If you’re puking in public from being drunk, you deserve to be laughed at.

  28. I’m with SS+1 on this one. That might be the best tag I’ve ever seen. EVER. And that includes the ones on my own blog that I think are like, totally cool and stuff.

  29. Oh, the best is when you see someone pulled off the highway, hanging out their car door and puking. Once I even saw both the passenger AND the driver puking at the same time!! It was like double prizes.

  30. I’m a puker. You’re welcome to take pictures. But I’m also allergic to alcohol (I’m special) so I no longer drink, which makes me sanctimonious too. So. Much. Fun.

  31. public drunken puking is pretty hilarious, i must say. But… you know… that’s me.

  32. NorthernPaladin

    Public puking deserves mockery. If she’s really an 85-pounder who did 8-10 shots then:
    1) She is an idiot
    2) Her friends are jerks
    3) That’s getting up into the “hospital” category of drunkenness.

    It’s still funny though. Funny because something life-threatening and ENTIRELY avoidable occurred simply because she’s hanging out in a social group that thinks doing 8-10 shots is the highlight of the evening and she didn’t want to be left out.

    So yeah.

    Dear white-shirt-puking-girl,
    Get better friends.

  33. deutlich

    You’re such a delicate flower.

  34. I am not a puker. I have learned to perfect my alcoholism to the point of no puking.

  35. idontliketoread

    I puke all the time, and you have never taken a pic. am I not a funny puker?

  36. This post almost completely confirms my suspicions that there may be photos of me puking in public floating around on the internet. Thank you.

  37. Sooo yeah, I totally wore that purple dress for Halloween last year. Only mine was hot pink. HAH.

  38. As someone that has been in that position more than once I have to correct you.

    We never re-examine our lives.

    Because our lives stink.

  39. oooo-i forgot about that. i backed away slowly from that situation. i didn’t want to get beat up by the korean mafia.

  40. Noted. I will never ask you to be the one to hold my hair.

    This is Gwen. I read your blog.

  41. Despite the fact that usually I’m the girl outside the bar ralphing I have to agree that it’s pretty funny. I remember one time I went to a bar at Pike Place Market after a wedding (in which I was a bridesmaid in an orange dress) I ended up puking in the alley outside the bar and let me tell you I had no nice guy defending me telling everybody to stop laughing – pretty much everybody was laughing their asses off. But really it was my own fault for chugging 1 too many beers.

  42. marie – I think that about covers it.

    twink – Thank you for agreeing.

    stealth – Why thank you! I am honored.

    beth – Oh man, that is awesome. I wish you had pictures.

    melissa – “Sanctimonious” is a really big word. It made my head hurt.

    kat – You are good in my book.

    northern – Hahaha – I think you summed it up nicely.

    deutlich – I know!

    lbluca – You and I both. We are winners.

    idont – I think that it’s because you do it so often that it’s just not funny anymore.

    cristina – It’s true, there probably are.

    shannon – You go girl. I don’t know. That’s all I got for that.

    rs – Hahaha – that sounds about right.

    betsy – I think you could’ve taken him.

    gwen – Hahaha – we are both geniuses.

    megkathleen – You are a classy one.

  43. I’ve -thank goodness- only puked once. And that was more than enough to teach me a lesson.

  44. …and she’s wearing stirrups circa 1988. her night was just really rough all around it seems.

  45. k8

    I would SO totally take a picture of that.

  46. Last September I got clipped on the front (in a car I’d had less than one week- kind of sucky)
    by a 350 pickup turning right out of the left lane as his passenger was about to ralph.
    He was apologizing and explaining this to me as she ditched the passenger seat and bolted to the corner of the building we were now beside to viciously spill her cookies en masse.

  47. Is that me?? It could’ve been..I had a similar moment as this girl a few weeks ago.

  48. pj

    Ralphing is only cool if you continue to drink afterwards, that is classy (not that I would know).

  49. I have to stand up for the pukers a little. While I am not a public puker type, as a petite individual, I have had what I call the “unfair” drunkness every once in a while, in which the same amount I usually drink and barely gets tipsy suddenly makes me way more intoxicated than expected.

  50. I would most certainly like to see a girl puke in front of a bar than some of the other things I have seen girls do in front of bars… or in alleys.

  51. People puking in public are funny. Getting puked on is not.

  52. One time I puked out a car door in downtown Minneapolis in front of 2 police officers. Good thing I wasn’t driving. Man, that was embarrassing though. You would’ve laughed, and then I would have beat your ass….if I could stand up, that is.

  53. ML

    so I have to say that I was inspired by this post last night to take a picture of someone ralphing outside the restaurant in which I was about to eat.

    I didn’t eat, either.

    But I laughed a lot, mostly thinking about you laughing at the misfortunes of others.

    good times.

  54. dammit. where were you when i was puking in the drive-thru line at Jack-In-The-Box? i felt like hell, but that would’ve been one hilarious/gross picture

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