you’ve already seen this one

I don’t own a TiVo and I don’t really care.  Sure, I’d like to be able to watch shows that I have to miss because I’m interacting with other humans for reasons like “birthdays” and “because that’s what adults do Chris,” but my thinking is if I miss them, no big deal.

And I’m not even one of those people who don’t own a TV because frankly, those people drive me insane and I maybe sometimes want to yell at them because everyone fucking likes TV dammit.

No, I love TV as much as the next person, but TiVo is just something I really don’t need in my life.  Which is why I don’t understand this whole “TiVo guilt” thing.

I just read about it this morning.  It’s the feeling people get when they turn on their TV’s and see that they have all these shows that they have recorded, but haven’t watched, thus – feeling guilty about it.

I have just one thing to say to those people out there suffering from TiVo guilt: Get the fuck out of here.

Just go.

You’re telling me that you feel bad, like the bad I feel when I knock an old lady down while diving for a seat on the train, when you haven’t caught up on the missed episodes of “Two and a Half Men?”

Listen to me – your life is better for missing those episodes.

Let them die.  

If you’re watching that show then you should already feel badly about your life, but feeling guilty for deleting them off of your TiVo is just fucking ridiculous.

You want to feel guilty?  Try ignoring someone’s Facebook group request and then when they see you on the site and ask, “Hey, did you see that request I sent?” the only thing you can say is, “Um, yes.”

There’s no reason to feel guilty about TiVo though.  Just let the shows go and get on with your life.

Unless you have the last two episodes of Rock of Love on there, and if that’s the case, I’m coming over.


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62 responses to “you’ve already seen this one

  1. I know that I feel racked with guilt whenever I, you know, participate in real life instead of watching a fictionalised version of it on television.

    Looks like it’s back to Confession for me.

  2. I really only feel guilty when I actually watch crappy shows like “Two and a half Men”.

  3. Ben

    Thank you. If you don’t care enough to be there or schedule the ole VCR, you don’t care enough to have that episode staring you in the face for days until you cave and reluctantly watch it.

    That’s what GoogleReader is for.

  4. I don’t have TiVo guilt for I live in the UK and we have V+ or Sky+ instead…I do get the Google Reader (other readers are available) guilt but that’s because people took time to write posts and I want to read them.

    I’d be wicked pissed if I missed ANTM though, wouldn’t you?*

    *this is a joke, laugh dammit

  5. Matt

    I would like TiVo because I am never able to stay up late enough to watch those soft core porn movies on skinemax.

    …When I click “info”, those movies look really interesting.

  6. I want a tivo, but there’s no way in hell I’d allow myself to have tivo guilt. That’s plain creepy….people, it’s JUST television!

    If I actually had a tivo, maybe I’d read bedtime stories to my baby….I mean, not that I don’t…err…ummm…just give me a tivo already! 😉

  7. deutlich

    Rock of Love is HORRENDOUS.

  8. I live in Cleveland – so Two and a Half Men might actually be better than real social interaction.

  9. What’s TIVO? 😉

    Wow, the asshats in the world amaze me everyday. TIVO guilt?! See, these are the ones who deserve to be drop-kicked!

    Ugh, I ignore Facebook and MySpace requests, too! Talk to me, just don’t send me cyber junk mail!!

  10. Ok, ok I admit it. I’ve been known to be one of those people to “TiVo” or “OnDemand” a show to watch later. But do I feel guilty about it if I don’t end up watching it? Hell no. That’s lame and dumb and those people should get counseling pronto.

    Oh and I also don’t feel guilty for ignoring something on MySpace or Facebook. Does that make me a heartless person?

  11. I do not get Tivo guilt when I’m too backed up on shows, I delete the shit and drop the show, it didn’t matter that much if I couldn’t bring myself to watch it every week.

  12. I’d rather read about your latest zany antics on the police blotter.

  13. The world is so unfair. I just traded in my 14 year old tv and now people are bragging about TiVo. I’m sill waiting on a VCR.

  14. two and a half is the WORST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

    People who watch that need to just go as well.

  15. jay grochalski

    it’s the nature of the beast. this is what we’ve come to in America…TiVo guilt and stampeding employees so that we can buy Tvs for $100 less than what they are originally.

  16. rachel

    Rock of Love is about the best train-wreck EVER.

  17. I’m with you on that one. The lack of guilt thing, not the Rock of Love thing. Never seen it.

    I make a point to never make plans around television viewing. If I happen to be in the room when a show comes on, fine, but I’m not putting it on my calendar.

    Except for sports sometimes. But at least sports actually happen.

  18. I do have all the episodes of Rock of Love and also Rock of Love Charm School.

    One day I will get the flu and I will be glad I have these to watch.

    Anyway, come on over!

  19. You know what I feel guilty about? Not eating that entire box of butter cookies I got yesterday. Instead I gave it to my co-workers.

  20. I think the old lady should feel guilty for not sensing that you were the rightful owner of that seat.

  21. hey… I don’t have a TV.

    and I have to admit, when placed in front of one, it’s like the first time.. every time.
    the first time seeing a TV that is…

  22. Also, Tivo and DVR’s are the best things in the WORLD.

    We have two. The one in the bedroom is where I record all my lady shows and the one in the living room is where Dane records everything on G4 that ever happens.

  23. Here’s a run down for anyone who missed Two and a Half Men:

    Fart/poop joke, Charlie’s having sex with some woman, the kid is stupid, sex joke, fart/poop joke, the brother is an idiot, the kid is stupid.

    There. Now no one has to go back and watch it.

  24. For me, it’s less about guilt than it is about a basic misunderstanding about how much time there is in a day, and how intellectual my pursuits actually are. When there are like, 10 old Orson Welles/Hitchcock movies on there that I keep bypassing to watch Sportscenter, then I have proof that I’m an idiot.

  25. longredcape

    I just got rid of a lot of TV channels, some of which had shows I would record, and I die a little inside when my DVR tries to record something that just isn’t there anymore.

  26. aine – I agree.

    whiskey – Good and you should.

    ben – I need to figure out that damn google reader one of these days.

    lizsara – I’m laughing! No need for threats!

    matt – Yes, skinemax is premium stuff. But just get real porn dude, it’s much better.

    stacy – I totally want one too, it’s just the guilt part that I don’t get.

    deutlich – You’re crazy!

    narm – That makes me sad.

    akilah – Unite against bad facebook groups!

    erin – No – see I want TiVo, don’t get me wrong.

    jossie – Exactly.

    dan – I don’t know anything about that naked guy robbing the 7-11, okay???

    broke – Damn that is unfair.

    julie – Yes.

    jay – That shit was crazy. They weren’t even drunk!

    rachel – I loved that show.

    mickey – Sports always gets a pass.

    kiala – I’ll be there in 4 hours! You’re the apartment on the hill, right?

    marie – Never help coworkers!

    meghan – I did too! Thanks for understanding.

    grace – See??? So go get one!

    kiala – I know! I want one bad, but I just wouldn’t feel guilty about the whole thing.

    modern – Hahaha – awesome.

    pistols – See I think that means you’re smart.

    longred – Hahaha – you will persevere!

  27. Chris just added the Facebook application, “My favorite thing in the world is to Tivo ‘Two and a Half Men’ and then delete it without ever watching it, thereby racking myself with guilt.”

  28. Matt

    Thats why I have the internet.

  29. This post reminds me of that Friends episode when someone told Joey they didn’t have a TV and his response was “So what do you point all your furniture at?”

    I love my TIVO. I feel stressed and overwhelmed when I have so much to catch up on and no time.

    I need a TIVO intervention.

    I am doing a Christmas giveaway contest on my blog if you would like to enter.

  30. I like TV just as much as the next person but I see no need to record stuff I missed because I was busy having a life.

    Who the hell am I kidding?

    I probably just fell asleep before the show came on, but still.

  31. Whatever. I have DVR and I have no shame about plowing through 5 hours of TV. It makes me a better person.

    Or something.

  32. That’s how I feel when I come back from a 4-day vacation and see 400+ unread blogs in my Google Reader.

    At least, that’s how I feel before I hit the “Mark All as Read” button.

  33. Sometimes you have to deny people on Facebook and on Twitter. I can’t write that I spilled wine on my shirt three times (in one hour) to certain people. It just won’t do. You understand.

  34. yup, addicted to my DVR and proud of it. although apparently not addicted enough because mine is totally broken and has been since September and I have yet to find the time to bring it in and get a new one. So wait, I guess I can’t be that addicted. I’m free… FREEEEEE!!

  35. S

    I have DVR (it’s just like TiVo) and I LOVE IT! but guilt?


    No way dude. I refuse to feel guilty about NOT watching TV.

  36. Far

    ok ill admit it I have a pvr/tivo and i love it! I dont feel the guilt though.. well not the same kind I get from butting into a line after I pretend I know someone in it somewhere..
    I just like it because when normal TV sucks I can catch up on Lipstick Jungle or my girl Ops (oprah for you males!)
    However I must say that now that ive gone over to the pvr side…. yeah theres no going back.. so stay away.. far away!

  37. I can’t afford to have TiVo guilt. That in itself almost makes me sad.

  38. I have google reader guilt. I know what these tivo people speak of.

  39. TV shows have feelings too, Chris.

  40. I’ve got Rock of Love AND the new one where they wook the ROL gals and sent them to boarding school with Sharon Osborne. And a fresh pan of brownies. Be here around 7?

  41. “took” not “wook”

  42. I’ve never heard of “TiVo guilt”. Maybe I have an offshoot of it, though, in that I simply never delete anything I haven’t watched. I have a bunch of B-grade movies I am saving up for…I dunno, a rainy day where my cable and internet are out and I’m out of books and there’s 6 feet of snow outside, I guess. I leave them there because I know the TiVo will delete them automatically if it needs room but in the meantime they can sit in my list as a safeguard against future calamity.

    Incidentally, did you know Netflix is starting to offer a straight-to-TiVo option? Rather than mail you a DVD they can just upload the thing to your TiVo. Fan-fucking-tastic!

    I seriously would not watch TV at all without a TiVo. I refuse to schedule my life around TV programming, but I do sometimes find myself with a random block of free time and a desire to watch something and the TiVo ensures there’s always something on. Even if it’s just old reruns of Futurama.

    Man I love that show.

  43. Yeah, that makes no sense at all, since I wait until production is wrapped on a series to watch anything at all. Which is why I’m about a year late to the “OMG THE WIRE IS AMAZING” club. Next up: Hill Street Blues. My parents loved it.

  44. uncle – Dude I told you not to tell anyone!

    matt – Damn right.

    lbluca – You do need an intervention.

    kristen – I want TiVo too, don’t feel alone.

    yourgirlfriend – There isn’t any shame in that.

    arjewtino – People hit that button? I can’t believe it.

    hbee – Yes. Kind of.

    beth – Run! Run like the wind!

    s – Good, because you shouldn’t.

    far – I will try my best.

    stealth – Yeah, it would make me feel sad too.

    maxie – Don’t feel bad, it’s fine. Let the blogs go. Just not mine.

    mindy – I know! I feel for them.

    gwen – No – “wook.”

    northern – Man, that makes me want Netflix even more.

    noelle – I am right there with you on The Wire.

  45. i don’t really watch tv. take that.

    however, i do feel this sorta guilt/anxiety with my reader. call me pathetic, hell write a post about how you don’t use it and don’t get us people and our guilt 😉 but its true…

  46. With the way every episode of every show ever is on the Internet now, isn’t TiVo just a waste of cash? Hm, if I can get the shit for free via the web, why bother “recording” it on some magical box I have to pay extra for? No, thank you.

  47. TiVO guilt? Now I’ve heard everything.

    Those people seriously need to get a life. I mean a real one, not one that plays a life on TV.

  48. ken

    the problem i have with this line of reasoning is that something worthy of feeling guilt over necessarily has a **victim.**

    who is the victim when you don’t end up watching the tv show you thought you’d want to watch? i can assure you that the tivo doesn’t give a shit.

    this is why–hypothetically speaking–i would not feel bad if my wife passes out drunk from unadulterated drinks she chose to consume, i subsequently have sex with her, and she never knows it happened.

    no victim = no guilt.

  49. Everyone has TiVo? They must be rich! I only have crappy DVR. I would like to talk with these rich Tivoing people that record 2 and a half men.

  50. I don’t have a TV. It makes me sanctimonious.

  51. I think they mean guilty seeing all the shows you’re about to waste your life on. That’s how I feel when I look at mine.

  52. I used to have DVR (which is TiVO without having to have satellite), but I got The Guilt. Plus, it was really fucking expensive.

    So, when I got rid of my roommate, I got rid of DVR too. It’s been 2 years, and I never look back! Now if I’m out “having a life,” I just don’t care about missing TV.

    (Although, when someone tells me about something really cool on an episode, I might watch it online, if it’s really boring at work…)

  53. i dont have a tivo either, but i unlike you i do wish i had one.

    BUT, with so many episodes online these days you can always catch up.

  54. i saw that article this morning too and i in no way feel guilty for having shows hanging out on my dvr. however i do feel guilty that i have so many shows in comparison to matt. oh well, he knew that when he started dating me, haha.

  55. Wow! I had no idea this existed. I do love Tivo though, except when my roommate’s shows for some reason don’t record and he freaks out. I can see where it can get annoying 🙂

  56. tia

    he’s really not fooling anyone at all. ANYONE.

  57. Jo

    I don’t know what a TiVo is, so I DEFINITELY don’t care.


  58. Goose

    Don’t own a TiVo? Try instead. All the shows you normally watch (at least 90 percent of them) waiting for you when you want to watch them. No guilt involved. People scare me sometimes…

  59. Am I that annoying Tivo Evangelist? Yes, yes, I think I am. Two things that make Tivo a life necessity.
    A.) Some shows are appropriate only at certain times of the day. Law & Order is a cure for insomnia, you call that up at 3 AM.
    B.) I’m assuming your sports (whoever the Steelers are) are similar to my sports (go Clippers!) on TV, in that you see the same damn commercials 3000 times during the course of a game. With Tivo, you start the game a half hour late, and fast forward through all the commercials that get bad songs stuck in your head. Plus, if the dog needs to go out for a walk with 2 minutes left in the game, and he always does, you can pause the thing and not miss the action.

  60. who needs tivo when you can watch episodes online. try 🙂

  61. oh, and that was just a tip, I’m not a spammer. LOL

  62. I often have Google Reader guilt.

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