Because Google rules the world and controls all we do with an iron electronic fist, I am of course a proud user of Gmail.

This morning, when I opened my account up, I was greeted with yet another innovation from the Google god’s: the ability to make a task list.

Of course this would be my First Task – to make a task list.  So I did, and for your enjoyment, here are the things I need to accomplish before I leave the office tonight.

I bow down to you all powerful Google gods.

I bow down to you all powerful Google gods.

As you can see I have quite the day ahead of me.

Of course, like most things I come in contact with, I will exhibit a large amount of enthusiasm about these task lists at first, and then promptly forget about them in a couple of days.

But for now, I think I’ll go add another task to my list. 

Perhaps something about coming up with excuses for my boss as to why I was drooling on my desk while looking at pictures of Kim Kardashian.

In fact that might have to be made a priority.


Filed under Uncategorized

59 responses to “dedicated

  1. deutlich

    Kim Kardashian’s ass needs its own zip code.

    I think it should be 11238.

  2. You’re well on your way to being a successful task completer. You’ve already got the first one in the bag.

    I am a determined worker.

  3. RB

    Does this mean that items related to your To-Do list will start popping up in your Gmail sponsored ads? Because I’m pretty sure they know how to to do that. [Do you love Robo-Kim Almonds? Buy now at!]

    Robo-Kim Almonds sound amazing.

  4. rachel

    you may want to add one more “to-do” to your day.
    *Get box of Kleenex for desk to avoid boss seeing my drool for KK’s booty.

    Good idea.

  5. yummm… i LOVE almonds! so delicious. i believe they may be a good part of your being awesome.

    I think so too. This is why we’re both awesome.

  6. Robo fan, eh? Did you know they are remaking it for a possible 2010 release?


    Yes I did and I am extremely pissed off that they are. You can’t get better than the original.

  7. “Of course, like most things I come in contact with, I will exhibit a large amount of enthusiasm about these task lists at first, and then promptly forget about them in a couple of days.”

    I commiserate my friend. This explains the half-finished paper mache pinata, untouched yoga gear, lentils that have been soaking for about eight months and unsent love poems to Stephan Dion that clutter my room.

    Who am I kidding? I mailed those damn poems two months ago.

    I bet Stephen loves them.

  8. I’m glad that being awesome is already checked off for your day. Glad you got it done.

    As soon as I wake up!

  9. You forgot “take a nap.” It’s important. Even if you are at work.

    I’ll add it.

  10. Ever since I read Bill Simmons’ column where he noted that in real life, Kim’s ass is even more spectacular, I’m trying to imagine how that could be.

    I read that too and I has the same reaction as you.

  11. I’m working at the Reference Desk today and it’s really bumming me out man.

    Pun intended.

  12. My list is something like, ‘do some work. reward yourself. do some more work.

    don’t kill anyone.’

    So far, I have been able to stay on task.

    So far…

  13. I think reading blogs may be a tad too low on that list…just face facts and swap it with getting some work done. You know you won’t work until you catch up on your reader. Don’t put off the inevitable.

    I sprinkle them throughout the day.

  14. obviously being awesome is already crossed off.


    Of course it is.

  15. Matt

    How can you do work when Kim Kardashians ass is on the list?

    I really can’t, I love her.

  16. That’s not all! You can send text messages from Gchat now, right within Gmail!

    I saw that, but I think it’s kind of pointless. Don’t strike me dead Google!

  17. why did the boba fett wiki page get nixed? i must know!

    It didn’t get nixed, I already did it, so it got crossed off the list.

  18. Here you go.

    You’re welcome.

    And now I want to know how you knew about that video. Or better yet, how did Dane know about that video?

  19. “Continue being awesome” kind of takes care of itself, doesn’t it?

    Fucking right man.

  20. I think I’m gonna stick with rememberthemilk

    Well that’s not that fun.

  21. Now I know why you love me so – junk in da trunk, babeee!

    She get it from her momma!

  22. I would like your job. I think I should add “being awesome” to my list of special skills on the old resume.

    Oh yes, I’ll even be a reference for you.

  23. You ARE dedicated. Your dedication to Kim is unwavering. I’m sure she can’t wait to meet you.

    She is so excited she doesn’t even realize that she’s excited.

  24. Kim Kardashian has a blog? I was unaware she could write.

    Well, it depends on what your definition of “write” is.

  25. I already checked out the Kim Kardashian butt pics today. Nothing really to report.

    Aside from it being amazing.

  26. I am a touch gay for KK. She also has good hair…though I don’t think you are looking at that.

    I like you even more now.

  27. How about the epic moment in “RoboCop” when RoboCop sets off into the night, simply stating “somewhere, there is a crime happening”.

    Yeah, that ruled.

    Yes! Or what about when he stops the robbery in the bodega, that was pretty sweet because it was his first mission.

  28. f.B

    i’d insert “wipe drool from chin” between looking at her pics and continuing being awesome. because you can’t be awesome with drool on your face. even if it’s well-inspired

    That’s very true.

  29. I sometimes can’t take my eyes off her ass and I’m a woman. As a man, you’ll be tied up with that task for most of the day.

    I would love to be tied up to that task all day.

  30. liz

    I don’t think I would be able to function without many of the tools gmail has to offer.

    ESPECIALLY my google reader.

    Google is god.

  31. That is awesome!

    What in the world could Kim Kardashian’s blog be about? “Today my butt went to Fred Segal. It was pissed when it didn’t fit into those fierce new Juicy pants. To ease it’s worried mind, I went over to Reggie’s house so he could squeeze it. My butt loves when Reggie squeezes it. The End.”

    I think you just summed up an entire month of posts.

  32. i had some almonds today! someone brought then into work, and i am not one to discriminate against nuts, so i grabbed a handful and put them in my mouth. they were delicious!

    That’s what she said?

  33. My task list will include the following task:

    Waste time at work making task lists that I don’t need for tasks that will undoubtedly help me waste more time.

    I am PUMPED for that.

    That sounds fun to me too.

  34. Great, another way for Google to make me feel unproductive. First it mocks me with Google Reader and all the blogs I fail at daily to read, now they allow me to make a list of things that I will fail to do…..

    It’s just like religion – make you feel bad for all the things you’re supposed to do.

  35. Oh this is fancy, the comment thing. Very fancy. Where is that on your list of things to do:
    making fancy thing in my comments.

    I know – I am soooo fancy.

  36. To do lists tend to make me feel inadequate. Screw you, Google!

    Oh you’re a dead woman now. Google will have you killed by sunset.

  37. I received my first text message from Gmail this morning.

    It was … anticlimactic.


  38. With tasks like those I know you are going to spend this afternoon worried about how you will possibily be able to accomplish all of this today.

    I’d enlist the help of good friends.

    I am calling some right now.

  39. ken

    i think the scene where robocop gets severely trashed by the swat team and the droid is the most powerful.

    as far as my favorite, at the end when jones gets fired and RC blows him away.

    “You’re fired!”
    “Thank you.”

  40. am i late? kim kardashian has a blog?

    wait, don’t answer – i couldn’t bear to read it, i’m sure.

    It’s gold I tell you! Gold!

  41. if I post more pictures of my ass on my blog, will you love it just as much as KK’s? Well, a girl can dream…

    I think that would help, yes.

  42. What do you think KK’s task list would include?
    > Look at ass
    > Paint clothes on ass
    > Rinse and repeat daily

    Don’t forget fantasize about me.

  43. I just realized last week how powerful and awesome Google really is. My friend sent me an email asking to do lunch and all the ads on my Gmail page became places to eat lunch within 5 miles of my office.

    Mind. Blowing.

    All seeing. All knowing.

  44. rs27awesome

    I asked Kim Kardashian to marry me, but she wasn’t facing me.

    It was spectacular.

    I am envious of you.

  45. Please…like your boss doesn’t check out Kim Kardashian?

    I know, right?

  46. Google tops Microsoft in email the way Japan tops the US in cars. Let’s just hope we aren’t asked to bailout Microsoft, too!

    Microsoft is going down for sure.

  47. Wow, you sure pack alot into one day. So you’re the ambitious type I’ve heard so much about. Meh.

    I know, I am a goal setter.

  48. Ben

    Don’t think I’m not still taking credit on giving you Wookiepedia.

  49. S

    Dang you work with people who have super-hero like skills?! The top skill at my office is shooting rubberbands.

  50. tia

    i cannot imagine what kim kardashians blog consists of.

    and this list makes you seem a tad bit dorkier than i thought you were. just sayin’. xoxo.

  51. F.

    \”I bow down to you all powerful Google gods.\”

    The Church of Google accepts all ye faithful.

  52. this totally reminds me of the commercial with the texting dad that has no time for a meeting, haha.

  53. I want to hear the joke about sweaters.

  54. I was pretty excited about the Google task list myself. Although, I must say, KK did not make her debut on mine. Sorry.

  55. Where’s the task about making new and witty someecards?

  56. KK has a blog?!

    Your list is awesome. I love lists. I need to use that list maker.

  57. E.V

    Kim Kardashian’s ass requires their own zipcode!

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