meal ticket

Because I live with A Woman, I am an expert on the differences between men and women, which is to say I know about 3% more about these differences than most men.  Which means I’m sad all the time.

Of all of the variations between men and women, the one that gets overlooked the most (and that, by my calculations, makes it the most important) is the fact that men can eat the same thing over and over again, while women cannot.

When I come to work every day, I bring a tuna sandwich, chips, an apple and some grapes.

I’ve done this for two years now.

Every single week day, that’s what I eat.  Aside from a few Fridays, when I go out to lunch and treat myself to, well, to a tuna sandwich from somewhere else.

A woman would never do this.

When Ari makes a dinner with pasta in it, we will not have pasta again – in any form – until at least next week.  When I propose pasta a few days after the Initial Pasta Installment, I am typically met with disgust and a look that says, “What the hell are you, some kind of monster???”

Women simply cannot fathom eating the same thing twice in a row, while men revel in the idea of having one less thing to think about, thus leaving more space in our brains for sports, boobs and more boobs.

Of course, this is just one of the reasons why men and women will never get along.

Scientists can do research and psychologists can conduct tests, but the reality is that it’s all about a sandwich and repetition.

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81 Comments

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81 responses to “meal ticket

  1. Sorry, but I have to disagree. I could eat Stouffers French Bread Pizza every single day.

    “Could” and “do” are different things though.

  2. and i eat cheese salad with cherry tomatoes and mayo every single day

    I want cheese now.

  3. Ben

    Mmmmm meal repetitions….

    Yes!

  4. RB

    As a relatively strict vegetarian, I not only COULD eat the same thing every day, but pretty much do. But I also like sports and hiding my feelings, so I’m probably only pretending to be female, right?

    Yes, of course.

  5. rachel

    what is cheese salad, and does it come deep-fried?

    Oh man, I hope it does.

  6. This is sadly true, to an extent. I could probably eat buffalo wings every day. But a tuna sandwich? Negative.

    But do you? See, are you really doing that? Because I actually do eat the same thing every day.

  7. Lies! I can eat the same thing every day and be happier than a pig in shit. Mac and Cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, cheese and triscuits.

    Okay, well clearly it has to have cheese in it, and then I can eat it every day and be happy.

    Again – you say you can – not that you do.

  8. that is…very true! my boy has eaten the same sandwich for 5 years (oh, but he does vary with 2 different types of meat)! do you guys just not have enough energy to find something else? what if you’re missing out on something great? hmmm…

    Not enough energy – that’s it.

  9. More importantly: what kind of bread are you putting your tuna on? A hearty multi-grain I hope.

    Wheat for sure.

  10. Matt

    I think it’s weird that girls cant eat pizza for dinner and then again for breakfast the next morning.

    I’m assuming you didnt write anything important after mentioning boobs.

    Nothing is more important than boobs. Aside from a nice butt of course.

  11. I eat the same thing for breakfast everyday (well Monday – Friday at least): soy “sausages” (not as disgusting as they sound, I promise!)

    And since I’m on a diet so I can be a truly skinny bitch by my Hawaiian vacation in a week and a half, for the past 3+ weeks I’ve eaten a salad every day for lunch and often a salad for dinner too.

    So not ALL women are like that. Just most of us. 😉

    Well done. And I eat soy sausages too, I love them.

  12. just further proof that i may very well be a man. i get on kicks and will eat the same thing every day until it makes me sick… mac n cheese w/ hot dogs, loaded baked potatoes, etc.

    Nothing wrong with being a manly woman, right?

  13. I think this also goes for bar repetition. I like to go to the same bar, where I know everyone and can get a drink in 2 seconds – not to mention stumble home. Girls always have to go to a new bar that is all the way across town.

    I hate that. Let’s go somewhere new! Why???

  14. I’m with Ari. Tuna everyday? Are you trying to give yourself mercury poisoning? And/or bore yourself to death?

    That being said, I eat an avocado every single day.

  15. I have been looking forward to my lunch of pb&j, cheez-its, an apple, and some fruit snacks all morning, but now I feel sad because I feel like less of a woman.

    I had the same thing for lunch yesterday.

    Don’t be sad, you have cheez-its!

  16. At least I’m not the only female who feels like, well, less than right now. I eat the same thing every day for lunch and will often have pasta and sausage 3-4 days in a row, for dinner. (It’s so easy!)

    (And I also love the close bars, that are easy to stumble home from.)

    Let’s hang out.

  17. and here i thought men and women couldn’t get along because they like sports. it was the tuna!

    I am a News Breaker.

  18. I do this thing where I obsess about one food for a long time and I have it allthefreakingtime and then one day I cannot stand to look at it anymore and I will never eat it again.

    You might want to mix that tuna up with a little Boca chicken patty action once in a while.

    You don’t want to catch Mad Hatter’s Disease. It may be too late already….

    No way – I love my tuna! And the mercury! And the Mad Hatter’s Disease!

  19. You could at least switch up the grapes from time to time from red to green(or vica versa), same with the apples for the visual illusion of difference.

    I don’t know, red grapes are just soooo much better than green ones.

  20. I’m that way with booze. People are always trying to talk me into new and fancy cocktails or wine or something, but I feel like whiskey goes with everything every day.

    I agree with you, whiskey is good in cereal, everything.

  21. A little repetition never bothered me much. But for TWO YEARS, Chris??

    That’s a shitload of Tuna.

    I know. I have a problem.

  22. I can definitely get on board with this thesis. Although for me it’s not that I don’t want to mix it up everyday it’s just that thinking is hard and a waste of time when I could be watching college basketball or reruns of Scrubs.

    I did actually just think of an amazing idea that is going to revolution my daily turkey sandwich. I’m going to put it in the toaster oven today. It’s going to be mind blowing.

    Right, like I said, it’s something that takes up space for things that are better, like sports. And that is going to be the best lunch you’ve ever had.

  23. You should start a tuna farm. you’d probably save money.

    Tuna grows on trees???

  24. The real question is this: do you put pickles in your tuna?

    Gross! I hate pickles.

  25. I LOVE tuna sandwiches. Or eating tuna salad out of a bowl with a dill pickle spear as my utensil, getting a nibble of pickle with every bite – that’s like, low carb and s***.

    Do you mean, “and shit?” You can swear here. This is a safe place. Shit, fuck, ass, bitch.

  26. ken

    tuna is good, but tuna WOOKIE is better, and doesn’t give you mercury poisoning, even if you eat it daily.

    What is that? I need to know about this.

  27. Men eating the same thing everyday should be comforting to a woman….isn’t that what marriage is?

    Yes it is. And did you mean that in a dirty way? Because that’s where my mind went.

  28. Okay, if that’s your definition of man, then I may be in trouble. I’ve spent all my life thinking I was, you know, a woman, and now I hear that being totally cool with eating the same thing over and over is a man trait? Aw man….

    I’m sorry, please don’t be too upset.

  29. so. true.
    and i always have to try something new at a restaurant. eating the same thing is boooooring. unless its nachos with excessive sour cream.

    ummm and watch out for that mercury poisoning. i think you’re a prime candidate.

    I will punch mercury poisoning in the face!

  30. I hate eating the same thing two days in a row. I mean, I can at least spread it out and deal with it on day four – maybe three, if you’re lucky – but otherwise, not a chance.

    And leftovers? No way jose.

    Just like a typical woman. What about cold pizza???

  31. Tuna salad every day for 2 years? That is absurd! I don’t know how Ari puts up with you! You monster!

    I should be in prison.

  32. Yeah true. I mean I could eat the same breakfast and lunch everyday, but I cannot deal with the same dinner two days in a row. its just wrong.

    Or maybe so wrong that it’s right?

  33. I would totally eat pasta every single day of my life. Would I be 300 pounds? Yes.

    Worth it?

    Mmmaybe not so much…

    I’m sorry, I don’t know where I was going with this.

    That’s fine. That’s how I feel with most of my posts.

  34. I think this is what keeps Hooters in business; the same food everywhere you go with different boobs on every waitress you meet.

    Hahaha – Yes! But those ugly shorts just make every butt look so flat…

  35. I wonder how many dolphins you’ve killed. My dolphin death tally stands at about 25. I don’t eat tuna, mistakes just get made.

    25 sounds about right. 26 after 1 PM today!

  36. I eat a turkey sandwich every day for lunch. Sometimes I only eat half of one just to flirt with the idea of cultivating an eating disorder.

    Then I binge on brownies and cut myself.

    Hahaha – awesome.

  37. this must be where i am not a typical woman than because i can eat mac and cheese every day for a month if i wanted to. or grilled cheese, or cheese and crackers.

    are you sensing a theme?

    sidenote: i wish i was eating a 6 inch tuna from subway right now. i’d make it a melt, why not, i’m feeling crazy.

    You are crazy!

  38. cheese salad isn’t as exciting as it sounds, it’s different types of lettuce, and some chunks of cheese

    I am also into sports and hiding my feelings

    I am also into painting my nails and playing dress up on nights out

    and i want Cheez-its now even though i don’t know what they are but they mention cheese

    CHEESE RULES THE WORLD.

    That last sentence is amazing.

  39. S

    I’ve drank wine everyday this year. Does that count?

    I’m not sure, but it makes me think you’re pretty fucking cool.

  40. So this would mean that I’m the man in the relationship and my boyfriend is the woman because I can eat some things over and over but he can’t.

    Matt is not going to be happy about this.

    I hope you make it through this tough time.

  41. I eat the same breakfast every day. You’re just not around to see it. And for like eight months, I had a smoothie every single day for lunch.

    Sorry to blow up your argument.

    Yes, but you never want the same dinner.

  42. I agree but not to the extent you propose. I am also a creature of habit but I like to eat the same things on a weekly basis.

    Every Tuesday I have turkey, every Friday a wrap, etc.

    So how was the turkey?

  43. You’ve honestly come up with something I never thought of before. My husband always suggests pizza…like 4 nights a week. I can’t eat that much pizza or anything else 4 times in one week.

    Lunch EVERYDAY is different. I need variety.

    I think I would like to live with your husband.

  44. chrissy

    i’m not trying to ask stupid questions but is tuna vegan-approved?

    I’m not vegan, I’m a vegetarian who eats fish – so pescetarian or whateverthefuck. It’s just easier saying vegetarian.

  45. jay grochalski

    what i think is most unfair in this scenario, is that we, as men who live with women, are forced into having the “what am i going to have for lunch?” conversation most mornings before work. wherein we, as men, eat the same thing, they, as women must have a variety of options, and will let you know if no variety is at hand.

    Well said.

  46. My new roommate is female, so this is a more useful heads up than you realize.

    Seriously, publish a book already.

    I want to man, believe me.

  47. you’re so right! I can’t eat leftovers at all, but eating the same thing two days in a row? I’d rather eat McDonald’s. And I hate McDonald’s.

    How about Wendy’s?

  48. Funny thing is, when I make my fabulous lasagna, I can eat it every single day till the pan is empty.

    My husband cannot stand the repeating! See that?! He’s the freakazoid and I’m the normal leftover eatin’ one!

    You are indeed, more normal than him.

  49. I can eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday, but dinner is a whole different story. Dinner needs to be rotated on a bi-weekly basis just like my wardrobe. Being a woman is all about the technicalities.

    I see. This is why I can’t be a woman. Well, that and the lack of nice boobs.

  50. It’s all a big plan designed to drive you nuts. I say this because when I was single and living on my own I ate hummus with corn chips, soy chicken nuggets and broccoli every single night.

    And now, I also try to follow the once per week rule.

    But shouldn’t you be excited about the variety in your tummy?

    I am not complaining, believe me, I’m lucky for the food I get.

  51. So because I’ve eaten the same thing the past three days, are you saying I secretly have giant testicles??

    No, they’re probably medium sized ones.

  52. deutlich

    I’m all for leftovers. But you’ll never see me eat the same thing for 2 years in a row.

    I know, I’m a little ridiculous.

  53. motherfucking cocksucker shit ass ho-bitch fuck

    That’s the fucking spirit motherfucker!

  54. Red

    For two years of grad school and three years following, I ate PBJ sandwiches for lunch an average of 5x per week. (Though I did eventually get to a place where I just couldn’t do it anymore.) I also often cook a full recipe of something (4 servings on average) and have it for dinner 4x in the same week. My boy actually objects to leftovers more than I do.

    See I think leftovers are crappy. Does that make sense?

  55. bwp

    This is true. My boyfriend eats subway every day and it disturbs me.

    I hope it’s a tuna sub.

  56. Where is your spice of life, man? Spice of life!!

    I don’t like spice.

  57. I must not be your typical woman because I’ve had the same lunch for, oh, I don’t know, the last 20 years of my life and that would be pb&j sandwich. Why would I eat anything else when the pb&j is perfect?

    As long as it has the ratio right. That’s critical.

  58. It’s kind of true. I hate leftovers. But there is an exception for pasta. I’ve always said I could eat that at every meal for the rest of my life. But now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve never been compelled to try. Maybe I am a woman after all!

    Maybe, just maybe…

  59. I like leftovers.

    I would not, however, eat the same exact lunch every single day for two years.

    Isn’t there like some concern with tuna and mercury levels … perhaps I’m mistaken.

    No you’re right – but I am a super hero, thus unaffected by things like mercury poisoning.

  60. I like pancakes.

    On another note, your kitchen must constantly stink from all that tuna. I dig it cause I like tuna.

  61. I thought you were a vegetarian…

    I ate lentil soup for lunch yesterday, dinner last night, and lunch today… but that’s just because my mom made it for me and I’m too lazy to go grocery shopping to change things up.

    But I added a pear with lunch today! Fancy!

  62. I need variety in my lunch but often have the same thing for dinner every night of the week, depending on what I made on Sunday.

  63. I feel like a fraud of a woman! I actually eat some of the same things all the time…

    I’m with you – I make things so I can have lots of leftovers so I don’t have to think about what else I need to make for lunch… but that isn’t to make room for thinking about boobs.

  64. We were goign to have a contest of how could eat at the same chicken place the most consecutive days. The only rules are you have to get the same exact thing every day.

    Then we realized we’re not rich.

  65. I hate to disagree but I quite often want to eat the same meal several days in a row. Once I ate spaghetti bolognese for dinner four nights in a row. And only stopped because I’d ran out.

  66. I also think Doritos are Heaven’s Food!! When I’m dieting I eat the same thing every day but other than that it’s up in the air.

  67. It’s actually the opposite in our house. I can go months eating the same meal(s) (my cravings tend to change with the seasons). My husband has to have variety in every fricking meal and even in his SNACKS, for crying out loud. I swear, he’s such a diva. 🙂

  68. Twice in a row is my limit. And the second time usually involves leftover pizza. The world is full of so many possibilities, how can I limit myself to the same thing over and over?

  69. When I first went away to college, I ate pizza every night for nine months straight. And if I lived that close to serviceable pizza still, I never would have stopped.

  70. oh i would say it depends on the food and how frequently you can eat it. i could eat pizza every day of the week, or mexican food. but i agree, i couldn’t have pasta every day for a week.

  71. Sadly, the majority of the time I eat the samething Monday – Thursday and then switch it up every Friday by eating at a greek deli…which of course I order the samething every Friday.

  72. Kez

    Wow! My hubby and I must be the exception to the rule! He hates having the same thing over and over, while I could quite happily snack on the same meals night after night, day after day.
    Perhaps it’s the poor student in me that allows me to feel this way.

  73. Not True! I can and do eat the same thing for days in a row.
    But I don’t need the extra space for boobs. :-/

  74. 73 comments? Comin’ on strong in the new year.

    I concur with your theory. And I figure, if it was good enough to eat yesterday, why isn’t it good enough to eat again today? Right?

    Right.

  75. Oh, whatever. I once had spaghetti for dinner for a week and a half straight. Without throwing up.

    And green grapes are SO much better than the red ones.

  76. I have to agree to disagree my friend. see its all about portion control. I would eat a whole pizza in one night and be done with it, however, I might throw up and die. so therefore, I must eat the whole pizza spread out between two or three days.makes sense?

    and you and my roomie would have a lot to discuss, she has more ways to make tuna than bubba did shrimp…

  77. I know this is very unwomanly of me. But, come on! If you find food you like, you should eat it. Every day.

    For lunch everyday I have a cheese and olive sandwich. (No really). And it may be disgusting, but I like it, and I don’t have to put thought into making it.

    Although some days I cut it into squares, and somedays into triangles (I’m spontaneous, you see).

    And I can’t see the problem with eating the same dinner for at least a week in a row. If you enjoyed it the first time, you will enjo it again, no matter how often you eat it.

  78. Miranda

    I am a woman and I could eat pasta everyday of the week! Its not all women. Great blog BTW.

  79. i don’t know how you can eat the same thing for lunch every day for two years straight. a week? sure. a month? no way.

    sometimes i get into food ruts and eat the same thing on repeat, but i need some variety.

    tuna everyday? seriously?

  80. Amen, brother.

    My wife and I will still have this discussion.

    We order, and the waitress leaves.

    She looks at me with disdain.

    “But..I could have MADE you that.”

    Her theory being that, since we’re at a restaurant where you don’t have to look up to order, I should have something new and exotic, or at least something we don’t usually have.

    My theory, of course, is that I’m hungry. And I happen to want a chicken sandwich. Yes, it’s a chicken sandwich, and we have chicken, and bread, and you have the skills to make a kick ass chicken sandwich.

    “Yes,” I would like to reply. “You COULD make it for me. At home. But we’re here. So THEY need to make it FOR me.”

    But I don’t.

  81. Pingback: Leading Associates » Blog Archive » Managing Women - From a Guy’s Perspective.

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