Because I live with A Woman, I am an expert on the differences between men and women, which is to say I know about 3% more about these differences than most men. Which means I’m sad all the time.
Of all of the variations between men and women, the one that gets overlooked the most (and that, by my calculations, makes it the most important) is the fact that men can eat the same thing over and over again, while women cannot.
When I come to work every day, I bring a tuna sandwich, chips, an apple and some grapes.
I’ve done this for two years now.
Every single week day, that’s what I eat. Aside from a few Fridays, when I go out to lunch and treat myself to, well, to a tuna sandwich from somewhere else.
A woman would never do this.
When Ari makes a dinner with pasta in it, we will not have pasta again – in any form – until at least next week. When I propose pasta a few days after the Initial Pasta Installment, I am typically met with disgust and a look that says, “What the hell are you, some kind of monster???”
Women simply cannot fathom eating the same thing twice in a row, while men revel in the idea of having one less thing to think about, thus leaving more space in our brains for sports, boobs and more boobs.
Of course, this is just one of the reasons why men and women will never get along.
Scientists can do research and psychologists can conduct tests, but the reality is that it’s all about a sandwich and repetition.