If you feel, for some strange reason, that today is a good day – you’re mistaken.
I realize that it’s Tuesday and you’re wearing your favorite socks. And some guy is being sworn in and it’s great and there’s a strong possibility that he won’t be a complete fucking idiot, but listen to me – today is not a good day.
It’s not a good day because when Obama takes over, there will be no more Bush jokes.
No longer can you attend a party and, upon realizing you don’t have any of your typical crowd-pleasing weather-related jokes ready, drop a Bushism and get laughs from everyone.
No more explaining that someone “misunderestimated” you.
No more telling your friends who work in finance that “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”
No more soothing your vegan buddy by saying, “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”
Sadly, today marks the beginning of a man who appears capable of not saying the stupidest thing possible at the stupidest time possible.
Obama, unfortunately, is a smart man.
He thinks before he speaks and his speeches rival the one in Braveheart (though the Braveheart speech still has the edge because it makes me want to fight for the honor of something. And maybe start wearing a kilt).
Today is not a good day. Today is out with the dumb, and in with the intelligent.
Goodbye George Bush, you were, well, you were good to us.
The Internets will miss you.