r.i.p.

If you feel, for some strange reason, that today is a good day – you’re mistaken.

I realize that it’s Tuesday and you’re wearing your favorite socks. And some guy is being sworn in and it’s great and there’s a strong possibility that he won’t be a complete fucking idiot, but listen to me – today is not a good day.

It’s not a good day because when Obama takes over, there will be no more Bush jokes.

No longer can you attend a party and, upon realizing you don’t have any of your typical crowd-pleasing weather-related jokes ready, drop a Bushism and get laughs from everyone.

No more explaining that someone “misunderestimated” you.

No more telling your friends who work in finance that “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”

No more soothing your vegan buddy by saying, “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”

No more.

Sadly, today marks the beginning of a man who appears capable of not saying the stupidest thing possible at the stupidest time possible.

Obama, unfortunately, is a smart man.

He thinks before he speaks and his speeches rival the one in Braveheart (though the Braveheart speech still has the edge because it makes me want to fight for the honor of something.  And maybe start wearing a kilt).

Today is not a good day. Today is out with the dumb, and in with the intelligent.

Goodbye George Bush, you were, well, you were good to us.

The Internets will miss you.

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53 Comments

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53 responses to “r.i.p.

  1. Are you supposed to wear underpants under a kilt?

    Nope. That’s what makes them so intriguing.

  2. deutlich

    Dude. You in a kilt?

    Hairy knees + a man-skirt = bad idea.

    But my legs are so sexy!

  3. Ben

    Without Sarah Palin I’ve had nothing to talk about for two months now.

    I know, I miss her too.

  4. So let me get this straight, this new guy not only is going to try and invade countries wearing a kilt but is also going to break the bond between man and fish?
    Bring back Bush I say.

    The world will miss him so.

  5. There is always Biden jokes. I am not worried.

    That’s true – he’ll definitely say something dumb soon.

  6. I have to believe that like a nice black overcoat, a good Bushism will remain timeless. Dan Quail quotes are still hilarious and he was no where near as stupid.

    Good point.

  7. Ha. True tale of lament, this one. We’ll find a new target, brother. Promise.

    I hope you’re right.

  8. You can take our idiot, but you can never take our freedom.

    I’ve already got my face painted.

  9. *sigh* I am right there with you! That is why I almost voted McCain/Palin—just so I could watch Tina Fey impressions for the next four years to make up for the loss of Bush jokes.

    Palin was the best thing that ever happened to Fey.

  10. We should start making fun of Congressmen. They have more influence over the running of the country than the President and I’m sure we can find plenty to make fun of between the lot of them.

    Get started…. Now!

  11. Oh, bushisms will never get old. They’re writing them into the history books as we blog.

    Let’s hope so.

  12. I still crack the occasional Reagan joke when i’m out. I go out a lot alone.

    Hahaha – nice.

  13. Comedians and satirical cartoonists everywhere are rocking in dark corners today, muttering to themselves and clutching their security blankets tightly.

    So cold, so alone…

  14. Thank you for that….cracked me up!!! =) So instead of writing a post today I think I may just have to link all of my readers to this lol. Mkay?

    Sounds good to me. Thanks!

  15. Just think how the economy is going to suffer from no new influx of Bushism calendars and such. I’m afraid we’ll be so politically incorrect if we even look for something to laugh at Obama about. Loved the post.

    Thanks!

  16. This day also sucks because my water spilled out in my bag and ruined my stuff.

    And what you said.

    The water is much more important.

  17. Matt

    I’ve heard that Obama even knows how to text message.

    Clearly, things are going to change.

    Drunk texts from the pres!

  18. rachel

    And even if he does say stupid things…how can you make fun of a Pres with a six-pack?

    I have to think of something dammit.

  19. Men should wear kilts once in awhile for their ladies! It’s provides quick and easy access to that prime area…

    You mean the inner thigh?

  20. I think Bill Maher and Michael Moore are going to have to retire…

    Absolutely. And Chris Rock is freaking out right now.

  21. I’m hoping this marks the return of racist jokes. Crackers are soooo dumb.

    Stupid whitey!

  22. What Justin said. Down with Whitey!

    Cracker ass cracker!

  23. Maybe NBC will give Bush his own variety show after Leno?

    I’d watch.

  24. I’m sure Bush won’t disappear quickly into oblivion. I mean, we can dream, but it won’t happen… The Bushisms just might continue on.

    He’ll be too bored not being annoying.

  25. smart people with dignity are no fun. maybe bush will start blogging in all his free time.

    I hope I can get him as a guest blogger.

  26. Now we’ll just have to make fun of the village he goes back to.

    I think we already do that, right?

  27. You win the funniest blog one day and the man who served as fodder for many of your jokes is no longer in office the next day. You’ve got big shoes to fill. Huge. Good luck with that.

    Fuck!

  28. What you say is true, but this is also one of my favorite types of work days. The kind where you can make mimosas at work, because we are celebrating history, or something. Cling to booze.

    That last sentence is brilliant.

  29. We’ll always have Bushisms to look back on.

    My personal favorite: “Do you have blacks, too?” —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

    Hahaha – yes.

  30. I was going to make a joke about families being “where wings take dream” but then I read this from another commenter:

    “Men should wear kilts once in awhile for their ladies! It’s provides quick and easy access to that prime area…”

    Doesn’t she know that a guy can get his pants off at light speed once its clear a girl wants “access to that prime area”?

    I know. I took my pants off just when I read the comment.

  31. hahaha. i never thought about it like that chris. i have a feeling he will do something to stay in the spotlight to still create fodder.

    maybe he’ll become the US Ambassador to Monaco or something.

    I’m crossing my fingers.

  32. S.

    What is late night television to do?

    *Le sigh*

    Maybe hire me?

  33. I’m going to miss him and his cat-like reflexes. Anyone who can dodge a shoe like that is a great man in my book. Don’t know of any other man who can. I’ve looked.

    I hope you have. Any man who can’t dodge shoes like a cat is not going to make a good partner.

  34. We can all make racist jokes. That works right? Right?

    *crickets.

    Right!

  35. We haven’t seen the end of Dubya. Without fail, he will do something or say something stupid. He can’t pass up giving his thoughts or commenting on things.

    I expect nothing less too.

  36. hahaha this is hilarious.

    and congrats on your 20sb win (i stumbled upon your blog from over there. i’m late, i know. but better late than never right?)

    anyways, i’ve added you to my blogroll now so i look forward to reading more great (and overly hilarious) things from you.

    no pressure :]

    Haha – thanks – and I am ready for the challenge. If I suck just tell me so, I can take it.

  37. Kilt. You totally have to post a picture of you in a kilt now.

    I have to find some scottish friends first.

  38. Oh, I have faith that we will get more material from him. He is definitely not smart enough to just fade into obscurity like he should.

    Good point.

  39. i dont think bush jokes will ever get old. He’s after all, a “legend”.

    The man and the myth – George W.

  40. Fear not for the Bushisms shall endure!

    I hope you’re right.

  41. I can still make out-of-date references to Scott Baio, though, right? Because I’ve been coasting on those for years.

  42. Favorite Bushism:

    “People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in’s house and say I love you.” —Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

    Gems like this one are the only things I’ll miss.

  43. It’s true! Who can we make fun of now?

  44. Kez

    I agree. And what will Letterman do now?
    It’s like Obama is Jeebus or something.
    Where will we be without that bumbling redneck?
    It’s serious stuff now!

  45. Bush jokes will always be around. Just because he’s gone, he’s not going to get smarter. I do miss Tina Fey as Palin though, no joke.

  46. i say obama wears a kilt at his next speech. that would be awesome.

  47. I was in Florida this weekend. The local radio station was having a Getting Rid of Bush contest, the winner was getting a Brazilian wax!

  48. hoppster

    somehow i think Biden will drop some good Bushisms on us over the next four years, probably not enough to make you cool at parties, but i don’t know if anything could do that.

  49. I agree with Katelin, I want to see Barack in a kilt!! Now that just has sassy written all over it.

  50. i’m not getting my hopes up, but if you could get W. as a guest blogger you might just go down in the annals of history as having the greatest. blog. ever.

  51. bush jokes will live on for eternity, but i’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing…

  52. For a minute, I thought we might be able to get some humor out of the garbled swearing-in, but it turns out that was mostly Roberts’ fault.

  53. Vanessa

    Aye, fight and you may die, run and you’ll live. At least a while.
    And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to
    trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one
    chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take
    our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom?!

    Always gives me the goosies! Makes me wanna get some blue paint, rally some ppl together and fight to get the prostitutes off my corner!

    P.S. Bushisms are timeless…like knock-knock jokes.

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