Because the guy who was training me to box recently left my gym, yesterday I decided to go to a boxing gym for the first time.
I was nervous to say the least, because 1) I’m not tough 2) I’m not good at boxing and 3) I act like both #1 and #2 are incorrect.
As I walked to the building I decided that I needed to put as much Manliness in my brain as possible, so I put on some Rage and hoped that somehow my training would involve questions about Peruvian guerrilla operations.
Once I entered the building I got on the elevator going down instead of up, where the gym is located. I took that as A Good Sign.
When I finally found the gym, the first thing I saw was a picture of the gym’s owner, along with Roy Jones Jr. and Christian Slater.
Obviously, I was way more intimidated by Christian Slater than Roy Jones Jr., because hello? Dude was in Young Guns II.
Shaking my pure awe of Christian Slater being in the same gym as I was, a trainer approached me and suggested that I start with three rounds of jump roping. So that’s what I did. And that’s when I realized jumping rope for three minutes straight is hard and sometimes makes me angry.
After that was done, the trainer and I did some work on the bags and inside the ring. Once inside the ring, where the trainer repeatedly told me “stop leaning!” and kind of laughed when I told him I was a writer, I figured something else out about myself: I was the second worst boxer in the entire gym, narrowly beating out the desk near the entrance.
As my time wound down I asked my trainer for some water, but because the gym didn’t have a water fountain (I assume this is because boxers don’t need wussy water) I had to buy a bottle of water. Of course my cash was in my locker, so the trainer told me I could pay on the way out.
Once we were finished I thanked my trainer for making me feel like I was going to die, washed up then headed out.
I will definitely be going back because boxing is just too much fun. And as for upping my toughness factor, let’s just say I might have left without paying for that bottle of water.
Let’s see Christian Slater top that.