tune out

I don’t watch Lost, nor do I ever intend to.

I just don’t get it.  I don’t understand why everyone thinks this show is so great.  I feel like the kid in Flight of the Navigator – I woke up one day and I was the same, but everyone around me was different.

I mean, it’s a show about people stranded on an island.  In present day.

This kind of thing doesn’t happen.  People don’t get lost on islands, let alone time-shifting ones that harbor castaways who don’t take their ties off. It just doesn’t happen.

I think, though I might be wrong, that if I got stranded on an island and I was wearing a tie, the first thing I would do (aside from crying like a little girl) is take my damn tie off.

Also, Lost has been done before.  It’s a complete rip-off of Gilligan’s Island.

That’s right.  Gilligan’s Island.  That was the first show about people who got stranded on island and, of course, the hilarious hi-jinks that ensued.

And at least that show was believable because it was set in the 60’s, a time when it was still socially acceptable to eat excessive amounts of acid, rub your naked butt on someone else’s naked butt and think that James Bond movies are “far out.”

But don’t let me stop you from watching Lost.

I’m sure it’s fine in that it doesn’t make you want to gut yourself, but as for me, I think I’ll stick to shows that are more intellectually stimulating.

Like Keeping Up with the Kardashians.


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61 responses to “tune out

  1. CapriceClassic

    OMG, I TOTALLY agree! The show’s premise is based on Gilligan’s Island – the only difference is that Lost sucks. I mean, at least Gilligan’s Island was funny. And Keeping up with the Kardashians? Pure genius – even though Kim and her mom are the only decent looking ones on the show, it’s still very intellectually stimulating! Screw PBS!

  2. Matt

    Here you go about James Bond again…

    but I won’t go there because I know you will never change your mind about Jason Bourne.

    go steelers.

  3. I was lost when I first tried watching it back in 2004. My attention span is very small so I never watched Lost ever again.

  4. I watched the first season, and then as soon as that mysterious monster or whatever got introduced I gave up. If I want to see nameless beasts who make scary noises, I’ll watch American Idol, thanks.

  5. y’know.. for “not watching it” you sure do know a lot about it…

  6. I maintain that you would enjoy Tool Academy.

  7. You and the commenters who preceded me should consider yourself lucky that you didn’t start watching from the beginning like I did. Not because Lost sucks, because it’s awesome. You’re lucky because you didn’t get sucked in to the awesome that completely consumes your entire life. It’s so convoluted, confusing, and badass that you can’t miss a single second or you’ll have no clue whats going on.

    Oh and Gilligans Island was a terrible show.

  8. Thank you! I thought I was the only person on the planet who didn’t watch Lost. I get douche chills just from the stupid commercials.

  9. THANK YOU. I couldn’t have said it better myself. And I can’t stand the friends of mine who insist that if I gave the show “a try,” I’d like it. It’s like they’re trying to convert me to Mormonism or get me to join a cult.

  10. rachel

    I absolutely agree….with Eric. I love LOST in a way that only rivals Kristen’s love for “Moonlight,” “Twilight” and anything pseudo-vampire.

  11. Evangeline Lilly is so hot on that show that its mindnumbing.

    Maybe thats because I have no idea what the hell is going on.

    But she’s still hot.

  12. I tried to stick with a show but I just couldn’t focus properly. I tried it with House and The Sarah Connor Chronicles, but I miss one episode, and then another and it’s all over after that.

    For some reason, I was able to follow The A-Team, Airwolf and Manimal religiously.

  13. Lost is one of those shows you can’t even think about not watching if you want a fuckin’ clue about what’s going on. It’s so stupid. You miss 5 minutes and you’re asking yourself why they think there’s a dinosaur on the island and where did that small child come from. I hate it. The appeal is so totally lost on me.

    I’d rather mundane teenage-filled angst and drama that I can keep up with, like 90210 or One Tree Hill.

  14. kat

    I recently read an article that described Lost thusly: Imagine that you have a super-chatty friend who talks and talks and talks and most of the time does not make any sense, but VERY occasionally says something incredibly interesting. And so you continue to invite that person to your house and weather the inane talkingtalkingtalking because, somehow, the random intervals in which they say something cool makes it worth it to you to be annoyed the other 99% of the time. Lost is that friend.

    …Yeah, I don’t know why I watch it, either.

  15. jay grochalski

    hey Chris, long time listener, first time caller….have you tried Twin Peaks? a good show. beats the shit out of Lost in terms of strange. For myself, i prefer Fringe. GO STEELERS!!!!

  16. I used to watch it but then I thought things started not making any sense so I stopped, was wondering if I should give it a watch again or not..people seem to like it very much. LOL keeping up with kadarshians..

  17. Wait, what are your thoughts on Jason Bourne???

  18. Me thinks thou dost protest too loudly.

  19. Hmmm… trapped on a magical (redundant) island or a big ass booty? Tough choice.

  20. What if it was a really sweet-lookin’ tie? And once you took it off, you’d be the ugliest guy on the island. Would you still take it off?

  21. I started to watch LOST. I stopped after Season 2. There was just…too much to remember. STupid show.

  22. k8

    I don’t watch it, but sometimes I pull up pictures of it so I can drool at long haired dirty men. ( The ones that took their ties off.) Rowr.

  23. If by “intellectually stimulating” you mean “feature Kim’s butt” than yes, absolutely. Right on.

  24. You are apparently ill-acquainted with the frequency with which bleeping hot men with their shirts off – dripping with salt water – are portrayed on this show. Purrrrr.

  25. this makes up for that time you said you like football. i will totally watch kim’s butt with you.

  26. I watched it because I needed to understand WTF my fiancé was going on about all the time. It’s like sex and the city. Scene by scene, dialog and outfits are awful, but overarching plot, sort of ok. And you have to know what’s going on or all your coworkers appear to be talking utter nonsense on Thursday.

  27. If you were on a tropical island where all the babies were dying, you had to push a button every 108 minutes, there is a gigantic statue that only has 4 toes and you are being hunted by Others, polar bears, wild board and a smoke monster, you might have some other thing to focus on instead of taking off your tie. Just saying.

  28. Speaking of getting stuck on an island – if we were to do Blogger Survivor – who do you think would win?

  29. wow, its not everyday that you get a Flight of the Navigator referrence. Who else has seen that movie besides me and you?

  30. Matt

    I just want to say- I fully promote Narms idea of a “blogger survivor”.

  31. ML

    Agreed. Lost was never interesting to me at all. It’s really weird that everyone likes it. I think it’s a conspiracy by the government to brainwash the masses… yeah…

  32. it’s just another sad sign of how f-ed up the majority of the general public is. arrested development gets cancelled because no one watched it and yet Lost / American Idol / and Paul Blart Mall Cop are top grossing entertainment

  33. S.

    I agree.

    Except I think you should run back in the water and look for a shark to wrestle so you can be a REAL survivor!

  34. S.

    And find a ball to befriend. Everybody needs friends.

  35. I don’t watch Lost and I don’t watch American Idol. I’d begun to think of myself as an enigma. Oh well, it’s nice to know I’m in good company.


  36. Yes, “intellectually” stimulating. That’s what I call Kim Kardashian’s ass too.

  37. callmekp

    Psh. I challenge little Miss Kim to an Ass Off. That’s right. Just like in the olden days.

    I could take her. Her rump is not that special. And mine isn’t lovingly nicknamed “The Best Seat In Town” for nothing.

    Oh. The bit about the tie? Yes. Thank you. I love that.

  38. My attention span isn’t long enough to watch Lost. At least on Gilligan’s Island they came to some kind of conclusion at the end of each episode. And the Professor was totally hotter than any of those chumps on Lost.

  39. holy shit Flight of the Navigator…. I so wanted to be that kid. totally jealous.

    but yeah, I don’t watch Lost either… I have too many reality TV shows to keep up with.

  40. I don’t watch Lost either. I was totally enthralled by the previews for it before it started, watched the 1st episode and said screw it. It’s dumb. I’ll take The Bachelor or Grey’s anyday, no thinking required. 🙂

  41. Meh… I’m not a fan either. That said… I think I am going to lose my membership in the cool kids TV club because I also find Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City, Prison Break and 24 useless as well…

  42. I’m with notsojenny. Seriously nobody watches Arrested Development and there’s millions watching Lost? It’s too upsetting for words.

  43. Did you know that in Biblical times blasphemers had their tongues cut out? Just askin’.

  44. i’ve never watched Lost either and my friends think i’m crazy. but i refuse to be sucked in! refuse i say!

  45. I LOVE LOST! I’m totally one of those crazy idiots who gathers around discussing possible theories on Thursday morning.
    I REALLY need a life, and maybe a date or something…

  46. Kez

    Firstly, can I just say that Flight of the Navigator totally traumatised me as a child.

    Secondly, thank god someone else feels the way i feel about Lost!

  47. Last year I spent every Wednesday night in the bedroom by myself while my ladyfriend watched Lost. I don’t remember what I did in there. Probably watched PBS or read historical fiction. Something like that.

  48. Lost “lost” me after the 1st episode. I agree that it would not happen. You can’t tell me that current technologies would not be able to find a downed plane after 4 seasons?? I will say, I’d rather watch Lost than Keeping Up with the Kardashians. but that’s just me. Peace.

  49. it’s my favorite show! watch it buddy.

    i really think you would like it if you started watching it from season one.

  50. every time i watch flight of the navigator i get so scared for that kid. i mean, can you imagine if that was you and the fbi was coming for you and your family was all grown up and you were the same?

    but lost is stupid.

  51. There’s two types of people in this world: those that love Lost and those that hate it.

  52. I totally agree!! Ppl at my office talk about it and I think it sounds so confusing and pointless.

    I much prefer Kath & Kim. So great.

  53. I’ve never seen an episode of Lost. I guess it’s a failed mission just like my lack of seeing Dark Knight.

  54. No offense, and I’m sorry, but this all pales in comparison with whether or not you are currently drunk off of beer and black and gold.

  55. Flight of the Navigator.

    Awesome awesome reference.


    And also an early SJP acting bite.

  56. And ps…I don’t watch Lost but why the EFF are they even still lost? Like let’s move it along!

  57. Second stealthnerd! Tool Academy is where it’s AT.

    I used to watch LOST… but it lost me. About 3 years ago.

  58. QQ

    Yup! I’m just going to cosign cause NOTHING is missing in my life nor did I bop my head Superhard to be watching no god damned “lost” or “Desperate Housewives”… and I feel a better person for it, every time I read recaps or browse television without pity the whole thing gives me a migraine and makes my butt itch… at, like, the same time

  59. I’ve never seen a single episode of Lost.

    Not that you’re reading this comment, because you’re probably naked under the bar somewhere celebrating your team’s big victory.

    To which I say: Glorious!

  60. Yeah, this made me laugh – it’s about time someone called out “Lost” on their Gilligan vs. X-Files mash-up.

  61. I completely and totally agree with you. I don’t get it.

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