at your service

By now I’m sure you’ve heard the audio of Christian Bale screaming at the director of photography for screwing up a scene while on set last summer.  If not, what the hell is wrong with you? Doesn’t pop culture rule your every waking moment aside from when you’re longing for my blog?


Okay, well I’m withholding judgment (not really) on you for now, but go listen to it when you desire to hear an actor yell a variation of “fuck” 36 times.

Of course everyone is upset about this, and there’s talk that this tirade will forever tarnish his career and blah, blah, blah.

Well obviously I’m not one of those people.

When I heard the clip, my first thought was “That guy totally deserved it.”  What other thought could you have?

This is Christian Bale people.  Motherfucking Batman.  Motherfucking soon-to-be savior of the Terminator movies.

As far as I’m concerned, he can do whatever he wants.

So Bale yelled at some dude.  He messed with the wrong man and he got what he had coming to him.

You think Bale’s dry cleaners ever screw up his khakis?  Nope!  Because they know if he finds his favorite Gap Relax Fits aren’t done when they’re supposed to be, there will be hell to pay.

You think Bale’s Chinese delivery guy ever gets his order wrong?  Never!  Because he knows that if Bale doesn’t get his Moo shu pork with extra Bok Choy dammit there will be no tip and possibly a bloody nose as a result.

Everyone else who may or may not possibly in any way affect Christian Bale’s life knows to cower in fear and do exactly as he says, so why doesn’t this director of photography get it?  No excuses.  He should’ve been yelled at like that.

Oh, and Mr. Bale?  If you’re reading, I folded your underwear just how you like them sir.  No need to thank me, I enjoy doing it.


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49 responses to “at your service

  1. i don’t know. i didn’t listen to it. it’s old news. i remember them mentioning this back in the summer. plus, i’ve always though of him a Christian Bale Motherfucking Lauri from little Women…..that makes me sound kinda gay, doesn’t it?

    A little, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

  2. I caught wind of this right after it was leaked, and I must say I’m not suprised. After all he is a Brit, and the guy is obviously a hard ass. From what I heard the Director of Photography interrupted the scene not once, not twice, but three times. He flat-out deserved it.

    Not sure if you have been made aware of it yet, but here is the link to the Christian Bale Song!

    Yes! Thanks for sharing that.

  3. CapriceClassic

    Christian Bale is an ass clown. He deserves to be treated the same way he treats people: With no regard.

    You take that back!

  4. LMAO yeah i still think he’s hot. Quite surprising though, first with Phelps and Pot and now this. *sigh sigh* whats next? Robert Pattinson has a Lolita fetish? ooh wait thats good for me 😉

    I’ll give him your number.

  5. charmcitykim

    And don’t forget that he was Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Who would mess with a man who loves Huey Lewis & the News and will stab you with a hanger?!

    Or someone who just like Huey – like me.

  6. I say good for him!

    You cannot let the poor walk all over you like that.

    They can be such a drag.

  7. Really, there are only a handful of faux-celebrities that I would go out of my way to annoy (Brody Jenner, Ryan Seacrest, Tyra Banks…) Christian Bale is not one of them. Neither is Lil’ Wayne, although I know you’re not a fan. I still wouldn’t want him mad at me. He might get his alien friends to abduct me.

    I did buy one Weezy song, but now I don’t like it anymore. See? No talent. His songs have no staying power.

  8. listening to that i fantasized about christian bale yelling at me. because i have been a bad girl. so bad, christian. call me!!

    He is going to make you behave!

  9. Um, isn’t this the same dude that yelled at his mom and sister or some shit and made the news? Ya…director of photog should’ve known better. He had it coming, fo’ sho’.

    His Mom should’ve warned him.

  10. I think he should do a spoken word yelling performance of Santa Fe from The Newsies.

    And I’m free like the wind
    Like I’m gonna live forever
    Its a feeling time can never take away
    All I needs a few more dollars
    And I’m outa here to stay
    Dreams comes true, yes they do
    In Santa Feeeeee

    I knew you were going to say something about Newsies.

  11. He’s a method actor and the guy walked into the scene and Christian lost his cool. No biggie and the guy wasn’t fired. I’m surprised this was leaked now instead of when it happened last year. Why the hold up? Someone’s ass is grass!

    American Psycho-man is going to don his clear rain coat and stab someone for the late release, I guarantee it! And I’ll clean up the guts in my thong just for Mr. Bale…

    I’m sure he’d appreciate that.

  12. I think screaming fuck 36 time is totally appropriate. Like when I go to the library. I just do it when I’m checking out my books for no other reason than I can.

    You gangsta.

  13. Is it weird that the rant made me like him a little more as a person? And possibly see him as “the marrying kind”?

    Not at all. I thought the same thing.

  14. As far as he is concerned, he can do whatever he wants as well. You guys would be great friends.

  15. Matt

    I hadn’t heard it yet… so thanks for posting a link to site that I can actually get to from work.

    Honestly, it sounds like me talking to anyone on a random thursday night.

    Big Deal.

    At church too.

  16. I still think he’s hot.

    He thinks the same about you.

  17. I bet the guy had it coming.

    No doubt in my mind.

  18. So. Does he wear boxers or briefs?

    Briefs! Can you believe it? And they are not what one would call “clean.”

  19. Red

    I DO long for your blog. I usually come here from Save Your Generation and I didn’t see that you had updated at the usual time. I was getting worried!

    Of course, you _did_ update at the usual time. Either I missed it or something was wrong with Pistols’s sidebar.

    Thanks for being there, CP.

    Have no fear! I hate my job so I always post on the weekdays.

  20. I think a good use of fuck 36 times is pleasant enough to keep people interested, not repulsed. But, that’s just me.

    You’re not alone here.

  21. As a self-proclaimed Potty Mouth, I don’t really see the big deal. That’s just how we express our feeeeelings. Except he gets paid millions of dollars and yells at directors of photography, and I get paid pittance and yell at the homeless guy on the way home. Same diff.

    And the homeless guy had it coming too.

  22. Of course! I don’t know why I didn’t see it this way at first. Man, I feel so much better now. I can go back to stalking him again.

    Get to it!

  23. Enjoy

    Hahaha! I wish I had the talent to make crap like that.

  24. Pam

    I agree, that guy totally deserved getting yelled at. It was an intense seen, Bale was in the zone, and the guy just walks through like nothing was wrong. That guy is an idiot if he thought he wouldn’t get yelled at.

    This does not lower my opinion of Bale. I still would do him….I mean shake his hand…yeah..

    No, you meant sex – don’t lie to me.

  25. I hope you ironed and starched them, too. He likes them stiff.

    Of course I did. I know that. Does he tell you secrets too?

  26. Sometimes people deserve to be yelled at. Why is everyone so damn touchy feely all the time?


  27. I gotta tell ya. Christian Bale as Batman really doesn’t blow my hairs back.

    You’re insane. Who did you like better – Keaton?

  28. S.

    So he got a smidge upset. I don’t see what the uproar is about.

    When’s the next Batman coming out? Terminator, you say?

    Oh yes – Terminator!

  29. I saw the preview for Terminator at “The Wrestler”. Oh, CB, you can berate me any day.

    I can’t wait for that movie.

  30. I’d still fuck him.

    Me too.

  31. People are mad at Christian Bale? For feck sake, after hearing that audio clip 50 times he’s my new idol. I would love to lay into some of my co-workers a la Bale style.

  32. I’m less scared that he’ll beat me up as I am that he’ll talk in his “Batman” voice and my brain will explode from trying to figure out why he still used that voice when it was only he and Lucius in the basement.

    Nerdy? I don’t care – that shit didn’t make sense.

  33. Batman can do whatever he wants as far as I’m concerned.

  34. yeaaaaaah i still heart him.

  35. Christian Bale…mmm….Christian…..Bale…..yummy, oh wait, Chris, were you saying something?

  36. eh, i don’t think he shoulda spazzed like that.

    maybe the light dude deserved it, but not that much.

  37. I’m with Jay — I still think of him as Laurie on “Little Women.” That tirade would have been awesome in a dainty New England period piece with Susan Sarandon.

  38. I very much agree with you! And to be honest… someone walked through his scene. You simply don’t do that! Bale was right on, it is distracting and it wastes time and money. Okay, so he threw a titanic sized scream fest on the scene… it’s not like the other guy was totally innocent.

  39. Agree that Batman can wail on whomever he wants. He’s Batman!

  40. AGREED.

    This is mostly because I am hopelessly in love with Christian Bale and he can do no wrong.

  41. Ok, just stumbled upon your blog, love it! Read a few of your previous posts. I’m a big Christian Bale fan and LOVE Flight of the Navigator… wish you the best, will check back.

  42. Remember Newsies? He was so sweet and innocent in Newsies. Newsies is long gone, apparently.

  43. I wish I could fuckin yell at some fuckin folks at work when they fuckin piss me fuckin off on a daily fuckin basis. Those Fuckers! 🙂

  44. i love that you have four related posts all with christian bale in the title.

    fact: you have a man crush.

  45. longredcape

    I can’t bring myself to not like him. I just can’t do it. He could bitch slap me with a porcupine and call me a dirty little girl and I’d still ❤ him.

    As a matter of fact, I’d probably enjoy that very much.

  46. ML

    well, so i actually thought the guy DID deserve it. or maybe not, but i mean the flip-out was understandable. he was tired, working all day, and that guy just fucked up the shot. and then it sounded like he mouthed off to Bale, so Bale started again. you just don’t do that if you’re at fault.

    so i can’t agree more.

    also, how did YOU get access to his underwear? … lucky.

  47. I never considered requesting extra Bok Choy… hm… you might be on to something, Bale.

  48. ron

    fuck this motherfuckin blog you fuck

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