and many more

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of this blog.

One entire year.

I never thought I’d make it, especially seeing as my last attempt at a blog had about as much success as Jaws 3-D (a shark in 3-D!  That’s just taking it beyond scary!).  But somehow here I am, a year later and one could argue, a year better.  Of course one could argue after a first post like this, there was no where to go but up, but whoever wants to argue that can just go to hell.

Seeing as I have one year under my belt, I thought I’d talk about some things I’ve learned/stuff I hate/crap I’ve noticed about blogging since I first started.  And oh yeah, thanks for reading.  Without you this blog wouldn’t have made it.  Now stop looking at that stain on my pants.  It’s just water, I swear.

  1. Keep your posts short.  I know you can write a 4,356 word post on how your weekend was, but trust me, it wasn’t that great.
  2. Please don’t apologize for not posting.  If you have a life and can’t post, be proud of yourself.  You are better than all of us.
  3. LOL Cats are never funny.  NEVER.
  4. I don’t want to read your “hilarious” g-chat transcript with a friend.  It’s not as funny as you think it is.
  5. When someone posts about being concerned about their mother getting old, it is not okay to tell a “yo momma” joke in the comments.
  6. Yes, even if it’s a good one like “Yo momma’s so old, she’s got a Jesus Starter jacket.”
  7. Yes, really.
  8. Drunk posts are always entertaining, and if possible, post video.
  9. For some reason, people have a hard time detecting sarcasm.  Reply to their comments with even more sarcasm.
  10. Speaking of replying to comments – I always like blogs that do this.  Otherwise I feel like I’m commenting to a brick wall, which is fine when I’m at work, but not when I’m reading blogs.
  11. People don’t click links.  No matter who much you tell them how great and exciting and awesome it is, they just don’t do it.
  12. Neither do I.
  13. No one reads on the weekends.  I learned this the hard way, as several posts on the weekends went unnoticed.  A post about Denver the Last Dinosaur people!  How could you not read that???
  14. People don’t read posts when they get too long.
  15. Like this one.  But if you’re still reading, here’s a secret: I thought The Real World Movie: The Lost Season wasn’t that bad.
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72 Comments

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72 responses to “and many more

  1. Congrats Chris!!

    Oh, and I DO read on weekends and I DO read long posts. As long as they’re by you ;)!!

    Thanks.

  2. dude, just for the record i LOVE, fuckING LOVE Jingle All The Way…it’s the best Sinbad movie other than Houseguest.

    Yes, and Houseguest was pretty damn good.

  3. Happy Blogoversary!

    I have absolutely nothing more creative than that to say…

    That’s fine.

  4. I have yet to post drunk, but I’m going to be blogging the hell out of my Tequila binge next Friday night. With video. In effing 3-D.

    Jingle all the way, dude.

    3-D puking! Yes!

  5. Hey congratulations Chris! 😀 I miss you at 20sb forum btw, that’s why I had to come here 😛 Cheers!

    Ah, the forums. I bet it’s bland without me.

  6. Congratulations. I agree with every single one of those, too, except I can take a good “yo mama” joke. Especially if it’s “Yo Mamma is so old,
    she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.” Priceless!

    Oh, that’s a good one.

  7. JustinS

    No wonder mine died young. I broke at least half these rules with each post.

    But Billy Joel said it: only the good die young. Yeah, I know that’s not what he really meant, but fuck it.

  8. Matt

    I post at night so a good 80% of posts I put up are when I’m drunk.

    Fact.

    Wow, and they are remarkably coherent.

  9. For what it’s worth, I enjoy your blog immensely. Yes, even when you’re providing links to questionable holiday movies starring The Governator.

    Yes, I clicked. For once in my life, I am the minority.

    Thanks. And sorry you clicked for once and that was what you got.

  10. Red

    Happy Anniversary, Chris. I’ll read a long post,as I occasionally write them, and I sometimes click links. Usually, even. But I know your anniversary isn’t the time to day, “Dude, you’re wrong.” So I won’t ;^). Go Stillers!

    You are one of the few people who do, so thanks.

  11. Could you repeat the part about the LOL Cats a few more times? I’m having trouble internalizing it.
    I try to tweet when drunk, blog when sober. I’ve been doing it wrong.

    As long as you’re drunk part of the time, it’s not too wrong.

  12. #9 is what keeps me coming back. These eastern shores are sorely lacking in this underrated form of intelligence. Thank you for a daily dose.

    Thanks. And I’m not even being sarcastic.

  13. CapriceClassic

    Well Happy First Birthday, Chris! Gotta say that I love your list and I couldn’t agree more with #4. One blogger I know does that at least 3 times a month, and it’s NEVER funny. Ever. At best, it’s a lazy attempt at posting cause they really don’t have anything better to say.

    Time to stop reading that blog.

  14. Congrats on making people laugh for a whole year!

    Thanks, that was nice of you.

  15. Happy Blogiversarily.

    I will respond to comments on my blog today in honor of this day.

    People are also confused by irony.

    If it can confuse Alanis, I guess no one is safe from it.

  16. Amen to all of that AND I have one to add.

    If you post a link to something great and exciting and awesome, make it open in a new window so that when I close it I don’t have to come all the way back so that I can comment.

    And I only apologized for not posting on friday because people emailed me with concern. So shut it cranky pants.

    I will NOT shut it.

  17. Happy 1 Year Blogoversary sir. You’re a funny fucker, let me tell you. But surely you already know that well.

    I read on the weekends. Damn! Did I just admit to not having a life?

    It’s fine, your secret is safe with me. Oh, and everyone else who reads this.

  18. Congrats Chris!

    Since its the one year anniversary, I guess it would be ideal for me to say that your blog actually helped me with an exam!!

    Yup. Apparently you save people’s future with your blog posts!

    Well, what happened is that since I am from India, I need to take an English test to prove that I know English, if I want to study abroad. Anyway, I had the speaking part of my IELTS exam yesterday, where I was asked to talk for a minute on an interesting TV show that I saw recently, and at that moment I just couldn’t think of anything (cos I suck)….so anyway, I narrated your post on the show where that stupid dude swam across the river full of crocs.

    (hope I passed)

    Hahaha! That’s awesome! I hope you did too.

  19. I like LOLCats.

    Anyway, happy blogoversary!

    No you don’t. Really?

  20. sorry about the really long comment!

    It was worth it.

  21. yay! a whole year!! thanks for bein’ around and keeping us from falling the fuck asleep at work.

    for real.

    Thanks for reading.

  22. Congrats to you. Iused to always comment on the comments people leave on my blog but ever since the internet usage was banned at work I don’t as much and I feel bad. Oh well it is my blog I can do what I want.

    You bastard.

  23. Happy Blog Birthday!

    He’s grown so much. Such a good little blog.

  24. BIG

    Tru Dat! I feel ya with the whole rambling on and on like a led zeppelin song. If the post is too long it just hurts after awhile or so I’ve heard .

    I felt Jaws 3-D was a great movie if the bench mark for great movies is Rocky IV.

    Yes, exactly.

  25. This is a blog that deserves to be around for another year. And I don’t mean that sarcastically.

    Whenever I feel like my posts are getting too long, I like to think, “How would Chris put this?”

    Ha! Thanks.

  26. I’ve done at least 10 of those things on that list.

    that’s what she said?

    Hopefully.

  27. Really? Jingle All the Way? See, I clicked!

    Happy Blogversary! Or however that’s spelled.

    It works no matter how you spell it.

  28. No way, dude, LOL Cats are always funny. Congrats on your blogiversary, even if you don’t like LOL Cats.

    Thanks for reading, even if you do like LOL Cats.

  29. LOL Cats has ruined the universe.

    Amen.

  30. You don’t like LOLcats because you don’t like cats AND you don’t understand memes because you are not a True Nerd like me.

    But I love you anyway.

    Thanks, the feeling is obviously mutual.

  31. For the last year, your blog makes me laugh immensely in the office and that makes me want to Punch Annoying People less.

    Best compliment I can give. Happy Bloggiversary.

    Best compliment I could get.

  32. Congrats on the year, it’s far longer than anyone expected.

    That was sarcasm, by the way.

    I didn’t pick up on it.

  33. yah i love when people reply to your comments too… i’m just too lazy to do it myself. keep it up though : )

    I will, but only for you.

  34. I, too, hate when people apologize for not posting in a while. Unfortunately, I actually did that which I hate in my latest post. I won’t link it since people don’t click links (you’re right).

    Also, as my own personal thing, I generally don’t comment on blogs that average 25+ comments per post. They don’t need my vocal support. I do keep a few of these blogs — like yours — in my reader, though.

    Thanks for reading – and hey – people always love comments, no matter how many I get.

  35. I also don’t like weekend recap posts. I don’t need to hear every single thing you imbibed. Just say, “Sober, what sober?” And if it’s not about drinking, then what the hell are you doing with your life?

    Good rules to blog by. I will proceed to break every single one of them now because you’re not the boss of me.

    I am, you just don’t know it.

  36. aw congrats on the year chris – if you didn’t know already you are a blog rockstar.

    you make some very valid points i.e. #2. when a see a post that starts off with, “i know i have been a bad blogger” or “sorry i haven’t had time to post lately” it take a lot for me to read it.

    also, how the F did i not know that there was a real world movie?!?

    You didn’t??? Oh man, it is wonderfully terrible.

  37. well, shit I guess I will start replying to my comments. and if I don’t, then you can just suck it.

    HIGH FIVE TO ONE YEAR, man!

    I am high fiving you right back.

  38. But…but…I love the LOL cats…

    *sigh*

    It’s okay. No one’s perfect.

  39. Congrats on making a year…

    Now what?

    Good fucking question.

  40. The Real World Movie? What the hell.

    To combine #8 and #9, people have a hard time detecting drunkenness.

    Therefore, drink more.

    Yes!

  41. Very valuable lessons to live by. Guess sometimes I overly excited and post a lotttt it might annoy people around me.

    Yes, it might.

  42. Happy Bloggie-Birthday! I’m new, but hilarious (in a Tracy Morgan voice.)

    Welcome and tell Tracy he owes me money.

  43. If only all bloggers were like you. So many blogs I like do things that make me crazy. Also to add to the list, don’t twitter about how “omg my reader is so full no one blog until i finish ahhhhh!!!!” If you don’t want to read stuff, don’t. Its not a fricken school assignment.

    I completely agree.

  44. sinbad is performing in waukegan, il on valentines day…..it’s all you

    loved your list….i’m still new so i am guilty of many of them!

    Sindbad I’m coming for you buddy!

  45. Geez- I think I broke seven of these rules just today. I’ll work on the rest tomorrow.

    And I don’t care what anyone thinks- I LOVE LOLCats!!!!!!! It’s not the kitties fault that you have no soul. Pray to baby Jesus that maybe he’ll give you one for your birthday.
    KITTIES!

    Baby Jesus ignores me.

  46. You’re so right about the links. But I still spend way too much time on them anyway.

    There’s some gems in them.

  47. hautepocket

    Dude. Happy Blogoversary.

    If I read your blog on the weekend (I do) I must really like you (I do).

    Thanks!

  48. Jingle all the Way? Really?

    Happy blog-versary! I agree that LOL cats are never funny. Ever.

    Yeah, Sindad and Ahhhnold! A can’t miss duo!

  49. Aww dammit… At no. 11 you had the PERFECT opportunity to rickroll your readers. Gutted!

    Damn, I totally did. I suck.

  50. Wow, I’m pretty sure I have violated pretty much every single thing you have outlined. Good thing you adore my blog anyway.

    And happy birthday Bloggerstein P. Blogaroo.

    That’s my private nickname for your blog. What I call it… in private. You know.

    Of course. In private…

  51. As a new blogger, I have also had to do the blogging “walk of shame.” Now blogging/social my faux pas are more interesting.

  52. i’m pretty sure i’m guilty of everything on your list, haha. well not everything…but some. but i can’t help the long posts, at least i add pictures, pictures are always nice.

    oh and happy blogoversary! woo!

  53. congrats. i’m still learning the blogging rules so appreciate the advice. although i think my post about cat toes last week was kind of funny. wish i were cool enough to know how to respond to comments. and how to know if/when someone responds to mine. this is a major irritant to me.

  54. I wish I was better at replying to comments. You’re so good at it, share your secret!

  55. I’m commenting. Sure, it’s not much and not really about anything but….well….I…..oh, shit just comment on mine, kay? And yes, it IS begging and it IS lame but, so what?

  56. why don’t people read on weekends? it’s sad!

  57. Happy Blogoversary!

    I have broken every single rule up there. I mean, of the ones that are breakable. I have ignored the other ones. But, for the record, I really am sorry about what I said about yo momma that time.

  58. really? only a year?

    that jesus starter jacket wisecrack killed me.

  59. Happy blogiversary!

    You should know that I burst out laughing in my extremely quiet office at the LOL Cats and yo momma comments.

    I guess I’m just lucky that most blogs aren’t yet blocked by our server and I can therefore be entertained in between my mundane work assignments. You, sir, never fail to entertain me greatly. Keep up the good work! 🙂

  60. Kez

    Actually, LOLcats are funny.
    But other than that, I totally agree with all your points.
    And yes, I hate myself for thinking LOLcats are funny…

  61. You never comment back on my comments 😦
    yes I am grumpy now… (pouting..)

    oh but wat the hell…!!

    I love your funnies…
    and I love ur blog…:)

    …keep writing!! 😉

  62. Yay, happy blogaversary, Chris!!! 😀

    And I have no idea why you read my blog (I don’t follow ANY of your rules)… unless it’s because I comment back. Yes, that must be it! HOORAY!!!

    Here’s to many more!

  63. I also stop reading when LOL cats come up. Mood killer. Every time.

  64. Ha! I got a good laugh out of this post! Congrats on your one year. I just celebrated mine as well but haven’t really posted about it because I need a spectacular something or other … stay tuned.

  65. Tim

    excellent list man. Blogs that don’t follow these rules are what ruined most of the blogs I used to read.

  66. I know you are just being sarcastic about the lolcats not being funny. So I forgive you.

  67. bwp

    I’m glad I found your blog because it rules and you do too. Oh god that was too mushy. Let me fix that: I hate you and you drool.

    I feel better.

  68. Congrats on reaching 100!

  69. My Gchat transcripts ARE entertaining! :-p *pouts*

  70. Oh, and congrats and sh*t

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