Tomorrow, since I’m getting married or something like that, Ari and I have to go register.
For those of you lucky enough to not know what this entails, allow me to explain: You and your spouse-to-be/person who lasted the longest without wanting to strangle you, go to stores and pick out items that people coming to your wedding can buy for you as a wedding gift.
Now, in theory this sounds fun – hey, let’s get a bunch of free stuff! But trust me, this is not going to be fun for me. We’re not going to places like Best Buy and the Apple Store, or even shopping online at NFL.com and NBA.com.
No. We’re going to places like Crate and Barrel (or as I like to call it, much to Ari’s annoyance, Crap and Bullshit) Macy’s and Bed Bath and Beyond (hell on earth).
If I was in charge of registering, I’d be picking out sweet Steelers jerseys, an X-Box and maybe some cool Knicks mugs. But because for some strange reason everything isn’t about me, we’ll be getting stuff like this:
This is what registering is all about. Spending hours and hours picking out stuff – that goes together! – that you don’t really care about.
Keep me in your thoughts tomorrow, is what I’m trying to say.