Knowing Things is important.
Everyone likes to Know Things About Important Things, and one of the best subjects out there is the Amazon Rainforest. Everyone loves to talk about the Rainforest, but no one actually knows anything about it. Aside from, of course, that it must be saved!
Why should it be saved? I’ll tell you what should be saved – this great pizza place down the street from my apartment – that should be saved. They make the best slices in New York. I’m not sure if it’s in danger, but if it is, I’ll do my part to rescue it by eating myself into a coma.
I don’t see why I need to know about the Rainforest if most people don’t even know what the hell it is or why we should be saving it. Oh sure, people have this General Idea of what’s going on, but nothing solid.
Friend Concerned About Things: “Wow man, the Rainforest is in serious trouble.”
Friend Concerned About Things: “Yeah, we’ve got to save it. All the medicines and things that are there.”
Me: “Medicines? Like what? Pepto Bismol? If that’s where they discovered that Pink Magic I am with you, because that stuff is a life saver.”
Friend Concerned About Things: “No man, damn. Like serious medicines – this is serious dude! Everything isn’t always a joke.”
Me: “Tell me one thing about the Rainforest. One fact.”
Friend Concerned About Things: “Uh, well, it’s home to lots of animals that are endangered.”
Me: “Like what?”
Friend Concerned About Things: “Like… Uh – ”
Me: “Is this going to take a long time? I might need some Pepto.”
This is how it goes every time. Everyone wants to save the Rainforest because it’s so important, but no one actually knows what the hell they’re saving.
So yeah, I don’t know much about the Amazon Rainforest, but at least I know that North Dakota grows more sunflowers than any other state, and that’s knowledge we can all use.
No, I don’t know how.